Saturday, May 9, 2015

My Mother's Arms

Tomorrow is Mother's Day in North America. I have been thinking about the holiday for many weeks and what I would say or even if I would say anything. I wanted to share a video of Cynthia Clawson singing *My Mother's Faith.* Trouble was that I don't exactly agree with the theology of it on a number of levels. What I do know is that every time I listen to it, I am reduced to tears. Sometimes, it would be more true to say sobs. Doesn't that just inspire you to listen? ☺


My mother's arms held me many times through the years. She passed away in 2011. She was not a perfect mother because no mother ever is, though she was as close to perfect as a human could be and has become more perfect with each passing day of missing her. Once you have said that last earthly goodbye, you become very aware of the stark difference between life with a loving mom and life without one. My own grandmother would say, "When your mother has gone to heaven, you have lost your best advocate on earth." (The Lord is, of course, our best advocate always. We're talking mortal advocate for nobody loves you like a good and godly mama.) I was blessed. I am blessed.


On the other hand, my father and I have never shared that close a bond. The dynamics of our relationship were messy and the relationship is broken even now.


He is now 85 years old and ill. He is facing end of life status with a broken knee, leg, and heart. He is recovering from a heart attack just this past Monday. He doesn't have much working heart tissue left as the result of heart disease. Needless to say, these things press heavily on my mind. I have given him to God many times through the years. It is one of the reasons why I liked the novel The Shack because it helped me to realize that some things only Heaven can heal. My prayer is that one day the circle will be unbroken.


I want to wish you a Happy and Blessed Mother's  Day, one where you remember your mother or honor her. There are many women who have never had children of their own, yet are mothers who serve in that capacity every single day. Perhaps you are one of those or have one to remember or honor! Whatever the case may be, keep your faith in The Lord intact and thereby help others to find faith of their own in Him. It's what this life is all about.
Many blessings... 


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52 comments:

  1. A beautiful post and yes, the video brought streams of tears from me too. Those of us who have blogged for many years, often wonder if we should post or not for some of the special holidays. Our dearest followers already know "our stories/memories/heart." I think your post was just perfect; a reminder of what an important role our Mother's faith played in our lives. I will say a prayer for your Dad. May God bless.
    With love, M

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  2. Just delighted to see a post from you this morning, Vee. A very touching and heartfelt post, I might add.
    Your grandmother really hit the nail on the head with that statement. Believe it or not I am inspired to listen to the video despite the forewarning. Sometimes a good sob feels good in a sad kind of way. I'm busy chasing Jaxson and making preparations for family time tomorrow, but I can assure you I will find a moment to myself for viewing the video (tissue box at the ready).
    Wishing your family a sense of peace as your dad faces so many struggles.
    Hugs to you and good wishes for a Happy Mother's Day.

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  3. A beautiful post Vee. I lost my mom 8 years ago and to this day I still think I need to pick up the phone and tell her something and then I realize I can't, it just makes my heart stop for a second.

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  4. The circle just revolves, you are someone's beloved mamma now, I hope you can enjoy that even as you miss your own mother. I wish my relationship with my mom had been better, but as you say, some things only heaven can heal. You were very blessed to have such a loving mother.

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  5. Vee, Your grandmother and mother sound like they were beautiful ladies with good hearts. I wish you could have had the same closeness with your father. We have to love them regardless. My friend used to say...Once they are gone from this earth they are gone....you will wonder if you should just forgive . I am wishing you a wonderful Mother's Day filled with love. xoxo,Susie

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    1. Thank you, Susie. No, there is zero question about forgiveness. I must forgive and do. That said, one can not impose one's will upon another. I did say "messy." =)

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  6. Such a touching and honest blog, Vee. I love your grandmother's wisdom and may share her words. I pray you and your father can mend the wounds in his remaining days, and that you have a blessed Mother's Day.

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  7. A beautiful tribute to your dear mother.
    Every day of my life, the thought crosses my mind - how will I be remembered?
    It is a strong incentive to live and be the very best ME that the Lord intended.
    I have never been a perfect mother and am so extremely grateful for the graciousness of my chidlren in forgiving me for some pretty serious failings.
    I, too, admire your courage and your honesty - in life and in your blog! Our blogs really ARE reflections of our lives and I do so love yours!

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  8. A beautiful post, Vee. Happy Mother's Day to you.

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  9. Thank you for sharing from your heart Vee. Praying for your father. I still have my mother who lives close by and cares for her sister in the home they grew up in. I know there will most likely come a day when she will not be on this earth anymore, but with her heavenly father and loved ones that went on before. In the meantime . . I visit my mother and aunt, take them grapenut pudding from their favorite diner, share stories, help where I can, pray for them, and pray with them. ~ Abby

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  10. This is my first Mother's Day without my mom here on this earth. We didn't always see things eye to eye. We were such different people. But we respected and loved each other. I hope that she is celebrating in heaven and that my sweet Jim is giving keeping her good company.

    Best wishes to you, as always.

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  11. Hi Vee~

    What a beautiful and touching post, and such a sweet tribute to your mom. The song is very beautiful, I can see why you become emotional when you hear it, I was sobbing after I listened to it too!

    My mother is still living, she just isn't the mother I remember, dementia has taken her away from us. It seems all of the traits that she didn't like about herself, are the most prominent these days . . . so sad. We just keep on loving her for who she is today, and pray that she will understand one day, how much we love her.

    You will be in my prayers, as you go through this difficult time with your father - why didn't someone tell us that we would have this heartache when we were older?!

    Have a very blessed Mother's Day sweet friend!

    Hugs,
    Barb

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  12. I well remember you sharing both your mother and grandmother with us, Vee, and enjoyed getting to know them through your posts! This is such a great, heartfelt post, I am touched by your thoughts and of you sharing of your relationship with your father, I will certainly be praying for him, and of this situation!

    Wishing you a most blessed and Happy Mother's Day,
    Love,
    Sue

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  13. So beautiful said Vee. I wish you a lovely Mother's Day. I am so thankful to call you my friend!

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  14. Your honesty is so touching, dear Vee. Relationships in a family can be quite messy. I know this because I too have a messy relationship with a family member. God will take care of it all in due time.
    Happy Mother's Day to you as you remember your dear Mother. ♥

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  15. What a blessing to have a mother who loves you. There was a huge communication gap between my parents and me. Since they couldn't communicate well in English and I was a mess with my Russian there was a lot that fell through the gaps but I always knew and never doubted they loved me and supported me the best they could. Praying that you will have peace with your father. I am looking forward to heavenly restoration for several earthly relationships that are a mess. God bless you dearly this Mother's Day and always dear Vee!

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  16. My mom and dad have both been gone for years now, but I remember how much I missed my mom each year and wished things had been better when she was alive. That said, I make sure nothing is 'messy' between me and my kids and try to be the best mom I can be. I thank God for the wisdom He's bestowed in me to look forward and not backward. Most of all I try and keep my mouth shut if I can't say something nice. It gets really hard sometime. There are no perfect moms. :D
    Wishing you a Happy Mother's Day from a fellow mom.

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  17. Happy Mother's Day, Vee. Such true words, when I lost my mom I lost my biggest advocate, the one I would turn to, tell things to. She always listened and ALWAYS (at least appeared) was interested in what was going on in my life. Miss her every day!

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  18. Your post is so much better than mine. I have one scheduled for tomorrow but may delete it. I'm afraid's coming across as too whiney (not meant to be -- the only whine I like comes in a bottle -- ha ha). Yeah, I miss my mother too but it's been almost 50 years. Wish I could remember her. You are blessed that your mom lived for so long. And my father was an a... well, not a nice person. Anyway, I enjoyed your post, as always. Glad you're back to writing again. ~:)

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  19. Such a beautiful post, Vee! Hope you have a very nice Mother's Day. We celebrated Mother's Day today with my mom and my kids (sandwich generation: they are the chocolate oreo wafer and I'm the creme in the middle) :) We are expecting storms Sunday.

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  20. A great post Vee.
    My mom is still hanging in there put I'm sure this will be her last Mother's Day. Her mind is really slipping now. We have never been close but she is the one who has given me my faith in God and lead me to Jesus many many years ago and for that I can never thank her enough. Once she gets to heaven and I meet her there, I will finally become the daughter she always wished I was.

    Happy Mother's Day to you. : )

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  21. My mother passed the same year as yours Vee but we were never close so a relationship never evolved. I envied my girlfriends who had what I was missing but at least I was close to my late father.
    I hope you get spoiled tomorrow - Happy Mother's Day!

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  22. So beautifully put, Vee. It has been two years without Mom for me.
    I wish you the best concerning your Father.
    Have a Happy Mother's Day-Kim

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  23. Aw - such a heartfelt and beautiful post Vee! I miss my good mom every day - I miss the fact that she prayed for me and all of my siblings. I miss the way her face lit up every time she saw us - even in her infirm years. It's true indeed how much more we appreciate and miss them when they are gone! Happy Mother's Day to you dear Vee!

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  24. Happy Mother's Day, Vee. You are right that some relationships are messy, and only heaven can heal somethings.

    I know you will miss your grandmother and mother, especially tomorrow. I hope your children celebrate you!

    Deanna

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  25. Oh Vee...what a beautiful, heartfelt post. You were blessed, as I was with a mother who left a dramatic impact on your life. I never knew any of my grandparents and any times that made me feel a little sad. Although my relationship with my dad was great as well, sometimes it is a child who is we have to give back to God...over and over. Family issue can give certainly be the source of heavy crosses to bear. I am sorry to her of our father's illness and pray that the Lord touches him. The Shack is one of my favorite books. I got a glimpse of the Trinity like I never understood before after reading it. I hope you have a Happy Mother's Day!

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  26. This was SUCH a good post Vee...with much wisdom. I've said it before and I will it again...kindred spirits are we. Yes, my relationship with my father was troubled at best. He died at 47 and I was a mere 25. Looking back and forgiving much took years to accomplish. As I've reached the age I have I wonder now more and more what drove him to be the man he was. My heart can finally be sympathetic. I too join you in prayer for your dad. Isn't it wonderful though that we KNOW we will see our sweet mom's again some day and that there is still much to look forward to. Our hope is truly in what lies ahead. And for now, we are someone's treasured mother and grandmother so lets enjoy and cherish and celebrate that as we remember with such sweet memories our own moms. Happy Mother's Day!

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  27. A beautiful and touching post, Vee! So glad you had a mother like that...one whose memory you can happily reflect on. That is a blessing. As for your dad...praying that one day the circle will be unbroken!

    Happy Mother's Day, Vee!

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  28. My dear Vee, what a precious post! Your mother sounded like a lovely lady who raised a lovely daughter :) My heart just broke when I read about your father... I am truly sorry, my friend. Please know he is in my prayers.

    May you have a beautiful Mother's Day! You are such a joy! Hugs!

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  29. Thank you for your authenticity in this wonderful post. I will pray for your father in these final days. If I could just give you a hug I surely would. And I hope that one day....in the distant future....my children will be able to speak of me as you speak of your mother.

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  30. What a lovely post this is to your dear Mom, Vee. I especially loved the part about none of us being perfect. We keep on trying the best we can, though, don't we? It sounds like your Dad is into his final days. I'm sorry that your relationship with him has been "messy". My thoughts are with you as go through this journey with him. Love, hugs and blessings to you and a Happy Mother's Day.

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  31. This was beautiful Vee, honest and heartfelt. I remember the first Mother's Day without mine, and signs and ads everywhere screamed about my loss, as they reminded us to remember our mothers. Mother's Day is always special, but always sad too. Somehow just knowing she was there made thinkg okay. Thanks for such a touching post. Your mother would have loved your heart in these words.

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  32. A wonderful tribute to a Godly mother, Vee. And I know what a burden is on your heart regarding your dad. We can only give these things to our heavenly Father who knows and has all things in his hands. I hope you have a sweet Mother's Day.

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  33. Beautiful Vee....I do not have a relationship with either of my parents, their choice. I have since long ago given the issues to the Lord. One can hope and pray that the issues will work out. It saddens me to no end that my son (who is 18 now) will not know his grandparents and he has also stopped asking why, that, which saddens me beyond belief.

    HAPPY MOTHERS DAY VEE!!! I like your new look here...truly I do. Blessings

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  34. What a beautiful song ... yup, a tear is slowly dripping down the cheek. What a beautiful testament to the love you have for your mother and your grandmother, Vee. Happy Mother's Day to you, dearie!

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  35. I remember so well reading about both your mother and grandmother. They were wonderful ladies and I know you miss them greatly. You were blessed to have had them in your life so long and they were blessed to have you for a daughter and granddaughter! Happy Mother's Day to you!

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  36. Beautiful writing, Vee, of matters of the heart that touch us all. I'm so blessed to still have my mom and dad (and my mother-in-law) with good relations all around. But I'm cognizant of the passing years and realize that I want to treasure the moments I have with my loved ones.
    Thinking of you today as you remember your sweet mother and grandmother. And yes, there are hurts only Heaven can heal. Hugs to you.

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  37. You and I were blessed with wonderful moms and I appreciate this post. That is a tough situation with your dad. Happy Mothers Day to you and to all.

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  38. Happy Mother's Day to you, Vee. Missing my mom in Heaven, spending the day quietly at home, reflecting, prayers, and enjoying my two feathered babies.

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  39. Happy Mother's Day, Vee!
    I miss my Mother so much but I know she is happy with the Lord. I lost my Dad tragically when I was only 18 and not a day does not go by when I do not miss him. One of the reasons I was so happy to move west to be part of my grandchildren's lives was that both V and Iived far from our grandparents when we grew up and hardly saw them. I'm glad to be a part of my grandchildren's lives and I hope they will have good memories of us when they are grown and we have passed on.

    We had a snow storm last night thta left us about 5 inches of snow on the ground! It's a Colorado tradition as the same thing happened last year--lol! Thankfully it is melting fast!

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  40. This post really resonated with me. My father was not perfect, but I did know he loved me, and my mother, well she loves me in the only way she knows how to love me, and I'm okay with that. Thank you for sharing your heart and I'd like to wish YOU a Happy Mothers day. I'm enjoying your video link :)

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  41. Some things only heaven can heal - we just have to wait, but it can be so very hard.
    What a poignant post this was, Vee. I am blessed to still have my mother on earth, and to have her still recognise me. She still prays for me and for my children - she'll say 'I know I'm praying for M_ but you need to tell me what is wrong again'.
    I wish I could see the video, but I tried and googled and clicked on many links but each time I received the message that it is not available in this country - very odd!

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  42. When I chose forgiveness and sacrifice the wind turned in my direction.
    We both know about losing mothers and trying to forgive fathers. Dig into your heart my friend, you will find the right answer. I hope you had a special Mothers Day.

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    1. See response to Susie. I am very glad that a messy situation turned around for you. I have found the answer for now...wait, wait, and wait some more.

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  43. A belated Happy Mother's Day, Vee. This is a beautiful post.
    Amalia
    xo

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  44. Just want you to know that you're in my thoughts.

    You mentioned "The Shack". I liked that book, too. I gave my copy to someone, but think I'll download to my iPad and read it again.

    I hope your father is comfortable. It's a tough time.

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  45. What wise words from your grandmother! I, too, know that my mom is my greatest human advocate. I am blessed that she is still with us for I know that I will keenly miss her unwavering love and support when she is gone. I pray that your memories were sweet and comforting yesterday...and that you were honored by your dear ones!

    I will be praying for your father, that the Lord will speak to him in his final days. I know that separation has not been your choice and I pray that you will know your Heavenly Father's comfort. Tender hugs...

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  46. A beautiful post which is true for many of us, I believe. Thank you for sharing and helping me remember why it is so important to be in contact with those still with us.

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  47. I love your post here, dear Vee...I can't listen to anything that sad about mamas....I get too down and depressed missing her so much and she wouldn't want that...if I feel it coming on, I find other things to do...just like SHE would react.
    Love to you....and now....I am on my way to play Bunco with 11 great friends, have a nice meal with them...it's raining and for that I am just beside myself with joy...AND...I have a new pair of pants to wear today.....lol....(i am sooo vain)....

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  48. I have so many fond memories of my mother who I miss more each year as I get older. She had a rough life at times but always had a smile. I'm sorry your father is so ill right now and will pray that he will make his peace with the Lord soon. A lovely post Vee. (I missed it until today, sorry.)

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  49. I've been AWOL from blogland for a little bit . . . so I'm glad to come over and catch up, Vee. Lovely to hear about your mother. I have had difficult relationships with both parents, but thankfully, my mom and I have been able to get past a lot of that. We have a much better relationship than we did. My dad, unfortunately, is another story. These holidays (mother's and father's day) can bring up so much.
    I think the very hardest thing is when family members don't know/don't want to know the Lord. We keep praying. But it's painful. Prayers for your dad, and blessings to you. xo Deborah

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  50. I am sorry I missed this post. Went to the song and listened. I didn't cry - but I do feel my faith is from my mother. She wan't perfect either - but like you say time changes things. My dad - well like you - another story. And I wonder too if I will see him in Heaven. He was a tough man all right. HUGS

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