Friday, July 8, 2016

Lest I Forget

Yes, I am already worried. Worried that I will forget my beloved's voice, the way he sang In the Garden in his deep, rumbly voice and often while driving. The way he chuckled, the way he laughed, the squeaky little laugh done just to amuse me.




So I am jotting down a few things to help me remember. 


John never left the house without kissing me goodbye and sometimes more than once, especially when we would start chatting all over again with his hand on the handle attempting to get out the door. Then I'd get another kiss because he couldn't remember if he had kissed me the first time. I never told him otherwise. As he was leaving, he'd say, "I'll be back." Sometimes I'd say, "Thanks for the warning!" Then we'd both laugh at the lame joke.
 

He never arrived home without an "I'm back" and most often another kiss or a hug depending on how dirty he was. Oh that man could get more dirt on him than a mechanic in a pit. Sometimes I'd grumble about it and he would respond, "Now is that a very nice thing to say to a very nice guy like me?" 


When he finished a project he'd say, "There! Good enough for who it's for." I tried to get him to say it Here, but he just wouldn't cooperate that day. ☺
(Look for the video and the little bow John took.)


If I asked him how his meal was, he would usually say, "I don't know yet." There was never a time that he did not thank me for making his meals or changing his sheets or taking care of his clothes.


If I ever asked him to do anything, he was in agreement. Sometimes we had to set a date and an intention, but he was willing to go and do as I requested. Sometimes I had some unusual requests that "stretched his thinking all out of whack."


Evenings were usually spent companionably watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. (I haven't watched since May 20.) He trounced me night after night only requesting my help for literature and grammar questions. ☺ For the final Jeopardy question, we would decide if we were going to "bet the farm." We often won. It is true that two heads are better than one.  After that, he usually wished to watch some show about Alaska; I'll never watch that again either.


~typical grand greeting~ 


When seeing the grandsons, he'd ask, "How's my buddy?!" They always knew that they were his buds, too. This often involved a high-five and sometimes he requested a hug and they willingly gave him one. He sure loved them and I can see the love light in his eyes for them that I often saw for myself. Here's a good example.



He prayed for the boys every day.
But then, he prayed for many every single day — his girls, his grands, his greats, his sisters, his friends, my friends, my family, me, and on and on. He really enjoyed praying for people and was happy to have remembered to pray and for what the specific need or concern was.


He had plans to write a book of his favorite tips for contracting/carpentering. He had even sketched out the chapters. He wanted to put in a new driveway, new counter tops in the kitchen, new floors, and probably a few other things; alas, time ran out. My son said the other day that John needed at least another twenty years.


Whenever situations arose that would make me say, "This is something we must pray about," he would say, "Oh dear, it's come to this." That was a joke indicating that it was ridiculous not to think about praying first about anything and everything. 

taken in April 2016, at a Retirement Party for a Dear Friend
You may remember a similar expression worn  Here

Oh there must be more; I can't have forgotten already. Wait! I remember another...one of my favorites. Every now and then I'd catch him looking at me and so I'd smile and he would say, "You're kinda cute (pause for emphasis) for a girl." 

This would have been our 8th anniversary...new beginnings. John began his ultimate new beginnings just six weeks ago. His sister gently chided me recently that there is no marriage in Heaven. Right. I know that. It won't matter there. But here, just for today, Happy Anniversary, Honey. I miss you like crazy.

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like...

~Edna St. Vincent Millay

***

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Revelation 21:4


post signature

60 comments:

  1. So beautiful....your memories. And the photos. I don't think you'll forget. Not really. Some things may take a while to come back to you but they will. And they will come when you need them most. Thanks for sharing John with us. And Happy Anniversary. I'm so glad you were blessed to have those years together....wish it had been longer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am not surprised you miss him like crazy....Your words here have made him so real, and such a loving good man.I never met John, but I have tears in my eyes...Of course, that is somewhat because in many things he sounds like my own dear Paul who died nine years ago in September. I still miss him. I always will. Keep your memories and cherish them, dear Vee....Praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A beautiful tribute to a man that seemingly loved his family and his life. It's a reminder to me that we need to be nicer to one another and we need to love those closest to us as tomorrow is not promised. Keep writing things down when you remember them.

    ReplyDelete
  4. {{{Vee}}}--what a beautiful tribute and memories...keeping you in prayer sweet friend. Yes, friend, keep writing those memories down so your grandkids and the kids know who their grandfather/father is.

    ReplyDelete
  5. He sounds a lot like my sweetheart, a really good man. I have found one of the best things about blogging has been looking back and seeing things I wrote about that I had completely forgotten. I am so glad I blogged some of those memories! You will, no doubt, be able to find memories as you look back at posts, that will trigger even more sweet memories of John. There may not be marriage in heaven, but that doesn't mean you won't know each other, and that is enough for me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Vee, your thoughts on your sweet John are precious. What a wonderful, kind, thoughtful man he was. I love the video of you and he at the completion of the garage. The high five with the grandson speaks volumes to the relationship he had with them.
    You are in my prayers, dear Vee.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I sure ended this in tears. And I understand...there are some things you will never enjoy doing again, by yourself. But you have such wonderful memories. How nice to write them down and share them with us too. Sending you some extra hugs today. Your buddy,Diane

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dear Vee, I tried to comment on a couple of your posts - but the ones I chose were comment free. So when I saw the title of this post I read it. I must give you a huge apology. I am so sorry. Are you saying your husband died? Gosh I am so very, very sorry. When and hoe did this happen? He sounds like he was just a wonderful husband, grandfather, and friend. I hope to meet him in Heaven. Love, sandie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John passed away on May 28 from complications after surgery to repair an aortic dissection. He suffered that on the Sunday before while attending church. I am sorry that you had not heard. It is tough coming upon such posts without knowing.

      Delete
  9. Beautiful post, Vee.... a lovely tribute to John and to your love for each other. You will always remember. Really .....

    ReplyDelete
  10. How wonderful to record some of you memories and to be able to look back at your blog and remember some of the beautiful moments you shared. A wonderful tribute.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yes, like my lavender sis Diane, the tears are flowing as I read of your fond memories of John. You were blessed to have him in your life for almost 8 years, a wonderful photo of John from April.
    Hugs,
    Judith

    ReplyDelete
  12. It's so good for you to post these things so you can come back and read them whenever you want to. I cried thinking about your happy marriage and your loss. I was thinking about my own happy marriage and how blessed we both have been in this area. God is good and death stinks. Thank God we triumph over death in Christ. Still, the separation is so painful. Even if there is no marriage in Heaven, I'm hoping God lets me work with my hubby in some capacity, as I love being with him. Much love.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Such good words and sweet memories about your wonderful man, Vee. Keep writing, it will help with the memories and let us celebrate him with you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Keep on remembering, Vee, and writing down. You had a wonderful husband and a happy marriage and that lasts!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I smiled and teared up at this post Vee. Tim's great aunt famously said about a need that required prayer "Oh Dear! Has it come to that?" We use that line tongue in cheek around our house. Now it will always be said with John in my mind too!

    God blessed you with John and John with you. There will be no marriage in heaven, true, but God gave us marriage here on earth, and it was joy for you. Feel free to enjoy these memories and rejoice in them and in your love for each other!

    Thank you for sharing these memories!

    ReplyDelete
  16. All of those 8 years of wonderful memories, you will always have those! I love that you have videos of John too. Sending hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh Vee, what a sweet, precious post, and like some of the others, it made me cry. Yes, you were lucky indeed to have John, but he was also lucky to have YOU. What a wonderful marriage you had, and a marriage that included friendship -- so many marriages don't have that. John was wonderful about praying for others, as I remember him praying for my husband and I about a health issue a few years ago.

    I agree with the others; keep writing about him, Vee, and thank you for sharing him with us.

    In loving friendship,

    Denise at Forest Manor

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tears are flowing with the beautiful remembrances of your good good companion in life for the last 8 years. Makes me want to speak more good words of encouragement and love each day....

    ReplyDelete
  19. What a gem, a jewel, a gift that was treasured then and forever. Vee, as you remember details that make you smile even through tears please blog them. The world sorely needs goodness reported.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I remember when you got married. A very happy surprise! What a gift God gave you, even if the years were less than you would have desired. (((HUGS)))

    ReplyDelete
  21. What a lovely tribute Vee and I am sure more things will still pop into your head at times. I love the last photo. A wonderful man.

    ReplyDelete
  22. This is beautifully done Vee, thank you so much for sharing with your readers. A glimpse into your special relationship and a lovely tribute to John on your anniversary date. What wonderful 8 years you've had with this man who loved you so much, and what wonderful 8 years he had with you. ~ Love Abby

    ReplyDelete
  23. oh Vee ... {{{..♥..}}}
    bittersweet blessed beauty.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh my, I have tears in my eyes as I read and write. I soooo know how you feel , Vee. I had one of my DIL's record Rich'a voice for me from a message, but still, after all this time, I can't listen to it.
    You wrote such a loving tribute to the name that you loved. It's just the simple, everyday things that we most miss about them, isn't it?
    Happy Anniversary wishes to you, dear Vee. We would've celebrated 46 years this past June 27th. I busied myself with grandkids and took them to lunch.

    ReplyDelete
  25. God blessed both of you. Happy Anniversary! I think he loves these memories you wrote, too. He's still with you and always will be. I'm sure that he's whispering from Heaven and thanking you, too. Thank you for sharing these memories with us. I hope you will continue to do so. I enjoy them so much. What do you think he would tell us were his favorite memories? ~ I love the picture of him with the little grand. It was not only nice to hear his voice in the video, but it brought back the memories of him siding the house, installing new windows, making the garden potting table... So blessed!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thank you so much for sharing these precious memories with us Vee. Made me cry and smile all at the same time. I love the pictures that you have shared. This has been such a reminder to me to NOT take for granite the words that are spoken (even if we do find them lame) or even if no one else would understand what those meant but us. To record these precious memories in the depths of my hearts and to focus on the little moments in life that mean so much. Hugs and blessings to you sweet Vee. Cindy

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh, Vee. This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read...such tender remembrances of your beloved. Oh, but that John was a dear man! Full of sparkle and compassion and wit and intelligence and sweetness. You were so very loved. Oh, how you'll miss him! What a gift he was to you! {{teary hugs}}

    ReplyDelete
  28. Such a beautiful post and a wonderful tribute to your beloved John. You have so many good memories and assurances of his love for you. And what a comfort to know he is in heaven now and you will see him again. Blessings, Sharon D.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh Vee my eyes filled with tears as I read this glimpse into your heart as you remember your beloved. What a wonderful man he was. His sense of humor, his tender heart, his wit and intelligence, his evident love of you, all combine to make such cherished memories now. Married or not what a comfort to know you will look into those sweet eyes again and know his love for you and you for him. Big hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh Vee, what a beautiful post you wrote about John. What a special man and he loved you so very much. I don't think anyone reading these words are dry eyed.
    I know he prayed for me and I will miss those prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hello Vee, What a sweet and precious post! I pray you always remember those special things he said and did!
    Hugs, Roxy

    ReplyDelete
  32. My second favorite post was one of you recording John while he read a children's book. I loved listening to his 'accent'. I have looked for that post on numerous occasions but have been unable to find it. Today...this is my favorite post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://ahavenforvee.blogspot.com/2012/12/of-creating-audio-books-and-more.html

      There you go, Sandy. =D

      Delete
  33. I love you, Vee, and we loved John. I love his voice and I love yours. I continue to think of you and pray for you each day. God blessed you and John with the few years you had together. The beauty is that you both KNEW how blessed you were! No regrets! Thank you for the link I see in the comment above!

    ReplyDelete
  34. It's wonderful that you are writing down these things! What a gift your husband was to you.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Tears in my eyes, praying for you, thank you for sharing these sweet details; I feel I know John a little now and that I'm able to share a tiny portion of your grief. God bless and keep you.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Oh Vee, you brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing your heart on your anniversary day. I hadn't realized your marriage was so 'young' and 'new'. How you must miss him so. Love and hugs. Pam

    ReplyDelete
  37. So many of your thoughts, I've shared. But, I can tell you, wholeheartedly, you will not forget his voice, his manner, his touch. His life was imprinted on yours and that never goes away. I will say, I live my life differently and appreciate more little things and get upset over things that people make too much of a deal about. Life is precious...all lives! XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  38. Oh Vee, such a moving and wonderful post. I know that John will always be forever in your heart so you will always be together in that way. I am not just saying that, I truly believe it. As I said before, part of him goes everywhere with you just as part of you goes everywhere with John. My love, hugs, thoughts and all other good things to you my dear. xx p.s. nothing wrong with remembering birthdays, anniversaries and other things, buy remembering a person and sharing them, that is how they go on! I also truly believe that. xx

    ReplyDelete
  39. You will never forget your John. Your love will always be with you .... I wish I could just give you a huge hug right now! Keep writing down the things you will never forget and what a privilege it is that you have shared them with us. My eyes are leaking.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Vee, thank you for this beautiful and precious post and for remembering John outloud for the rest of us to remember too. I was blessed by John, knowing he most likely joined you in praying for concerns I voiced. I encourage you to keep remembering out loud with us here... the gift that God gave you in abundance for almost 8 years. Big Hugs today!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Oh my goodness, Vee. This was so beautiful I cried and cried. What a wonderful tribute to such a special man. - Dori -

    ReplyDelete
  42. A kiss for you Vee, xxx, on your anniversary. I am sure John would have been blowing kisses from heaven.

    Fi

    ReplyDelete
  43. Oh Vee, John was such a kind and gentle fellow. I know the hole in your heart is big....I do think it's wonderful you are writing down all the special moments and habits you shared, not that I think you will ever forget them. I feel sick all over again that he was taken too soon. God must have had a great need for him in heaven. Hugs yo you-Kim

    ReplyDelete
  44. What a fine tribute to your sweetheart, Vee...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Oh my dear sweet Vee. I am so sorry for your loss. I have been away from here for awhile due to illness but on the mend. I can't imagine your pain. God bless you my dear!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Awww. I'm reading this a day late, but hugs to you on your 8th anniversary date anyhow! What a lovely tribute to a wonderful man! You will never forget. May all those good memories bring you much joy and comfort!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Such a wonderful tribute. How blessed you have been to have such a loving companion and I know the house must feel very empty. Grief is a journey that cannot be hurried. My prayers are with you. Stick Horse V

    ReplyDelete
  48. Oh Vee, this made me cry, what a beautiful post. A big big hug.
    Amalia
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  49. What a lovely, lovely post ... Such sweet rememberings of all these special things about your John. Sending hugs, Brenda xox

    ReplyDelete
  50. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your memories, and please share more as they come to mind. Without your even saying, I can tell just by looking at John that he was a kind and warm and humorous man, a wonderful husband to you for these past eight years. You have a store of beautiful memories, which I hope will comfort you as you go on through these difficult days. xo Deborah

    ReplyDelete
  51. So sorry to have missed your anniversary, Vee! I hope you see this note as I know my comments are not being delivered to e-mails any longer for some reason. Your memories of John are so sweet. You had a wonderful eight years together and I know you wish it could have been more. John is enjoying his heavenly reward but I know how you must miss him here on earth. I say prayers for you every night that God brings you comfort.

    ((( hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
  52. What a sweetheart. I love your love story and how you loved each other. It is a rare thing in this broken world. Hugs to you Vee.. I am so glad you have the Lord to lean on...
    Love, Mona

    ReplyDelete
  53. Dear Vee,
    I am so very sorry to hear of John's passing. I haven't blogged at all since April so I'm late finding out about his homegoing. I pray you are doing okay.
    Hugs & love from Oklahoma

    ReplyDelete
  54. Dear Vee, I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your dear husband! I can't even imagine how difficult all this is for you, not only to mourn his passing, but then having to deal with all the legal and financial issues that come about because of it. You are in my prayers dear friend! I really enjoyed your sharing of the special and favorite memories that you have of John, and how sweet and funny he was! Praying for you that the Lord continues to comfort and help you through this difficult time of grieving!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  55. This was such a beautifully written and very touching post, Vee. Your relationship with John was very special. There seems to be a good mix of love and laughter. I remember when you posted the little video of him originally and it was so good to see it once again this morning. (although I will admit to needing a tissue to get through it).
    May you always be able to hear that wonderful voice. You are in my thoughts daily. Sending a virtual hug your way today.

    ReplyDelete
  56. I'm so sorry to have been away from blogging. I was taking a blogging and internet break and was so happy to see your comment on my blog. I'm glad you're blogging again Vee. Your words hear really honor John and is such a call for me to pay closer attention to my husband's little sweet habits that I truly love. We need to hold these blessing close and I do not believe you will ever forget. Days will go by and there will always be something that reminds you of something sweet and you should write them all down for your family to read someday. I journal for my kids so they will someday know and not forget.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for commenting! If you ask a question, I will answer it here in case anyone else was wondering. Reply boxes are provided so that you may feel free to interject a thought on any comment. I do love good conversation!