Monday, July 18, 2016

Not Everyone Likes Me

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. 
~ Aristotle

 
I need to get a grip. Being concerned over what others think of me is crippling. Last words of advice I heard from one camp were these: Don't let them run over you. Last words of advice from another camp: Give in as much as you can. Ai yi yi...Lord, I need Your help here. 

How I would love to have the freedom to tell some disgruntled buttercups to take a flying leap in a rolling doughnut. Now this definitely is a matter for prayer! Oh dear, it has come to that. ☺



So, dear friend, I am having some trouble with focus. Blogging will be sporadic at best as I work to get John's estate cleared. It is not as simple as it might have been, but I can see that God had a plan all the same.

In the meantime, I wish that I were at the lake! Leaving you with some photos taken by other folks. Mine (above) is nothing to cheer about. ☺



My daughter now works in a coastal town so she sees many wonderful scenes on her way to work. ↑

some level playing field...not!




My son's family suffered through a very hot week at the lake. There's no electricity there so not even a fan to help with a breeze. I'd have lived in the lake, but they decided to visit a chocolate factory. (the five photos above) They are home now; I find myself wondering if they have a chocolate for me. Hahahahaha...

I'm leaving you with a picture of some of John's great-grandgirlies searching for loons on the pond a few nights ago.


Looks as if they found at least one!


post signature
Loons in New Brunswick


This post was written before the tragic events of the weekend had unfolded...Turkey, Baton Rouge, and not so long ago Nice, France. My concern is very real. I am praying. I believe that you are, too.

48 comments:

  1. I am catching up with the news now, I am praying for all those affected by these world events.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I totally understand that the worry and fear and thinking that other people are thinking things about you is totally real, but if you can move past it, it really doesn't matter. What you think of you is most important of all and from what I know of you, you are wonderful and lovely and having a totally understandable tough time of things right now. Be yourself and good things will come to you, trying to be what you are not isn't who you are and you will not be happy, so be you, whatever that is, whoever that is, however that is. Be Vee! I struggle with exactly the same thing, always worrying what people think of me, about me, are they judging me. Some people are, but do I care what they think of they are the sort of person to do that? No. It isn't an easy thing to do, but really, be yourself and be you and know that is what matters Also know that I am sending hugs today and have been sending good thoughts your way every day. xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Handling an estate never fails to bring problems and hurt feelings as everyone deals with their sadness and pain in a different way. Hang in there, do the best you can and that is all you can do. I will be praying for strength and wisdom for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Who couldn't possibly love or even like you, Vee...and if it is such a concern to those folks, then perhaps they ought to lend a hand? (oh I am so mean, aren't I?)--it's ok, Vee to feel what you feel...not that you need permission too...when my father in law passed away, my mil took off!! Left us with everything to do and take care...including his burial.

    I am keeping you in prayer and we love you sweet friend...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Why does settling loved ones estates always have to cause such havoc?
    I will be praying for you Vee, it can't be pleasant or easy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Vee. I've been praying for you everyday, but this has given me new direction in that prayer. Settling an estate is just never an easy thing to do, and sometimes brings out some "not so nice" emotions. But that's all they are....emotions or feelings....and they will pass and change. Accept the fact if you can that you will never please everyone, so only strive to please God. Praying God gives you a healthy amount of His wisdom, His grace and mercy and love, and fills you most importantly with His peace. Many hugs to you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Conflicting advice...lots of hard (and emotional) work...walking a tightrope while grieving and adjusting to loss. You have a lot on your plate, dear one. I continue to pray for God's grace and His direction for you.

    Lovely pictures of the lake. You can't see how hot and miserable it is. I am sorry that your son and his family had such a hot week. I hope that they are able to go again at a cooler time!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Praying for you, dear Vee. And I am sure they love you even when everyone doesn't like you. Or they certainly should. God is the only one you have to please. I wish you did not have to experience any of this or that I had any wisdom to offer. I think I don't. But may you be well. I wish you did not have to do this all so quickly as it sounds as if you do. Take enough time off so you are not exhausted yourself. Take time to work through your grief.
    If I were in a hot place and needed to be cool, I would be in the lake. My daughter Alice just made a sign for our cottage which says something Paul used to tell them all and our guests: "Go jump in the lake!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thinking of you, dear sweet Vee. I agree with Cheryl in that there is a lot of hard and emotional work ahead of you...how my prayers are with you, dear one.

    The photos were such a delight to look at...how I would love to be at the lake right now :) Hubby and I are hoping to go camping soon, but we shall see...

    Happy hugs to you!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is a hard time, Vee, and you have a lot on your plate. Prayer, talking with friends (there and virtual) and taking the time, as you have done, to look at beautiful images - these will help. Most of all, your attitude. You are a star, and the quote at the beginning of your post tells me that you have things in as much perspective as is possible at such a hard time. Holding you in prayer.....

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm always thinking of you and praying for you too. It's such a hard time and it always seems like there are some that make it even more difficult. Shame of them. Sweet hugs, Diane

    ReplyDelete
  12. I say, with age, you don't have to listen to the negatives that people spew! I am determined to be happy so my last words, as my daughter said to me before she passed, "I'm Happy!" Stay strong, I love you and happy you're a friend, XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  13. I say to heck with those that do not like me. Your view did not look bad to me really, but the lake would be better. I am struggling with the events of the last few weeks as well. How someone can drive into a crowd and kill innocent people especially babies is beyond anything imaginable to me. How someone can believe that killing innocent police officers that had nothing to do with the police involved shootings is just as unimaginable as well. Turkey is another story and just a sign of things to come in this old world. Pray and love toward others is all we need at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
  14. A sad state of affairs in the world on top of your own grief is an indication to pray for comfort and better days as you are doing.
    I agree with Honora, you have a strong constitution and will arrive at the best answer for each hurdle of your new journey. Looking at beautiful vistas and happy family in photos is a good way to lift your spirits. And, chocolate...definitely a soothing comfort food!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Prayer and seeking places of peace and peaceful people in this time is a good thing. I hope you can avoid the disgruntled buttercups for a while. I mow right over the buttercup looking weeds in my yard, but I don't recommend that with humans. You are on my prayer list, Vee. I have a few bloggers there. When Dear was an elder at a former church I got to encounter many disgruntled buttercups that decided they didn't like him or me. Yikes I had to hold my tongue. But that's another story. Praying right now that God fills you with peace, that He gives you His wisdom in ever increasing portions, and that he strengthens you for each day. Along the way I pray that you will find joy in small and big things. Blessings on your head dear Vee!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Yes, for sure we have felt the events in Dallas this past week, we live right outside of Dallas on a lake. Your lake pictures are wonderful, what a beautiful spot.

    As to all the rest... take it one day at a time Vee. It will all come together, and as for the 'buttercups', we all have some, and maybe what they all need is a good cool jumn in the lake! :) And now, you need to add me to your prayer list.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hey Vee, You can and will get through this tough time! And when we even gave it a thought, most people had a pre-opinion of us and will find fault with something. but John was your husband and you will do what ever it takes to make a lasting memory and right decisions in the future. It just is always surrounded with what everyone else thinks. Listen to advive and keep what helps and forget the rest.
    Well for what it is worth I like you!
    Sending a HUG
    Love xo

    ReplyDelete
  18. Aw. No fun for you, Vee. I'll pray that the estate details will be quickly sorted without adding more grief to you. Adorable photo of the loon-seekers.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I pray for you Vee every day. I can only imagine how hard it must be. I have been with your blogs when your gran and your mom passed. Jesus is walking with you and I am in heart.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Love and prayers for you, Vee, every single day. You are probably too nice for your own good!I had a feeling this was going to happen.

    ReplyDelete
  21. These are hard and heart wrenching times. You are in my prayers dear Vee. Praying for wisdom and patience!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Estates are hard to handle, especially if everyone is not on the same page about everything. I'm sending hugs and prayers to you..I hope it all works out. I wish I were at a nice lake with a cool breeze blowing...that's a few months away right now though!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh Vee, I pray for you nightly and I'm also praying for the world!
    God bless you as you take care of things.

    ReplyDelete
  24. "I can see that God had a plan all the same" - Truth, even in the hard stuff.

    Your son and family were roughing it! wow! I need at least a fan!

    I still think of you and pray for you regularly. God is at work!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh how I identify with you, in April my husband of 53 years died and I am devastated. I found a wonderful help in a daily meditation book called Healing After Loss by Martha Hickman. It's experiences of people who have experienced loss and how they have dealt with it--no preaching, just sharing and oh so helpful. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever gone thru and this book helps. Be strong! I don't have a blog but you can respond to my e-mail if you'd like!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ah yes, hard going through things and decided what to do with them. Many memories come along to make it harder. I pray for you each morning on my walk.
    Hope you get some of that chocolate. : )

    ReplyDelete
  27. Is that John's great grand doggy? ;)

    It sounds morbid but with Pete turning 70 his next birthday and me turning 62 in a week or so (and with a severe illness), I have been going through our house the past year or so and slowly getting rid of things I don't want the kids to have to deal with when we are gone. Pete's mom was a widow who went suddenly in a car crash at age 85 and it took months to sort through everything. Praying for you often, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, that is his grand-doggy. =D

      Delete
  28. Dear Vee, your journey is a rough one. I pray for wisdom in all you must deal with, dear one. Just be yourself. As I've heard, everyone else is taken.
    Such a sweet photo of all the cute little ones loon searching. ♥

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm thinking the chocolate factory is air conditioned! Who could pass up a few hours of creature comfort (AC and chocolate, of course)? ~ Your view...a long road, but I know that God is with you and will lead in your decisions.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I can't even imagine the long road you are traveling now. God be with you every step of the way.xoxo
    p.s. I love you bright shiny blog look....and if you have the photo of the kids in the boat enlarged and hanging on your wall, it is bound to give you a smile ea day....

    ReplyDelete
  31. Vee, I am thinking of you each and every day as you tread this difficult journey. Settling an estate takes time, effort, patience and fortitude. Just continue to be yourself and don't worry what others are thinking, and take things one day at a time.
    Glad the family had a grand time at the lake. I'm sure the visit to Ganongs was a highlight. Gentle hugs to you, my friend

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hugs! Thinking of you.

    Wish I was at the lake too - but I can't exactly leave this precious two day old grand baby girl now, can I?????? ♥♥♥♥♥

    xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  33. Other people only have as much power over you as you're willing to give them. It is easy to talk about boundaries and positive thinking, less easy to practice, I know :-) I'm thinking of you, dear Vee, and sending a big hug.
    Amalia
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  34. You are on a hard road right now, Vee, and I am keeping you in my prayers. I know you will get through this chapter of grief with grace. Take your time with all the decision making, and don't let anyone rush you!

    Its wonderful your grandboys are enjoying the summer. John's great grand girls looks adorable in that photo!

    ReplyDelete
  35. A cottage with no electricity? That is kind of roughing it isn't it? Especially in the heat we've had. This morning you'd need a heater on. Chilly but sunny and the humidity is gone for the 3rd day in a row.....for now. I recognize that chocolate factory and I hope you got a sample. Yum. Love the photos of the children enjoying summer. The world is in an awful state. Blessings and hugs to you Vee.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Vee, praying that things settle for you and quickly my friend. Enjoyed the pictures though. The one of the girls in the boat is adorable. Hugs and blessings, Cindy

    ReplyDelete
  37. As long as there are differences of opinion, there will be people who don't like us. On the other hand, just because someone disagrees with us doesn't mean they don't like us. How boring it would be if we were all alike. God created variety and intelligence and humor. Isn't it wonderful that all these things are from God! In reading the comments above, i see that you've been given lots of good, loving advice. So many are praying for you on this journey, Vee. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm sorry you're dealing with difficult people at such a vulnerable time. It seems almost everyone has tales of conflicts when settling estates. I continue to pray Vee. Blessings, Deborah

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hi Vee,

    I wish I could with confidence tell you not to give a fig what other people think of you, but unfortunately, I worry about that myself sometimes. I think we all do; it's part of being human. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that right now, as worrying about what others think is so counter-productive.

    The lake pictures are just gorgeous!! My goodness, what a charming town for your daughter to work in. I'm sorry the vacation was so hot for your son and family; it seems to be hot all over the U.S. right now. I do hope they brought you a piece (or two) of chocolate. :)

    Yes, Vee, I'm extremely worried and frightened about our world right now; what a mess it all is. I am praying for all of us and still thinking of, and praying for, you too, Vee.

    Warm hugs,

    Denise at Forest Manor

    ReplyDelete
  40. Praying for you as you deal with this. Yes, I am praying for our country and this world too. Stickhorse V

    ReplyDelete
  41. I hope it won't be too long before you will be enjoying the lake with these current matters a distant memory. It seems that estate settling is rarely a smooth process and always emotionally draining.
    That photo of the great- grandgirlies searching for loons is priceless. I like how the dog got in on the action too. Glad they met with success. I hope you also met with success on the chocolate front.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Great quote by Aristotle. I saved it in my "quotes" collection. So true.

    Loved your photos (even the garage) -- you are being real and those who have not walked in your shoes yet need to know how these things go. This is life. May the Lord give you all the wisdom and discernment you need.

    I am very late in commenting to this particular blog post since I've been out of town and then not feeling well. Found some quiet time this morning to do a little catch-up. Love your blog header (I always like your headers). Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  43. So...did I really not leave you a comment on this post? I don't see it. I even showed it to Elmer...when I saw the familiar Ganong Chocolatier photo...where we spent some quality time last summer. Love the photos of the grands (and John's great-grandgirlies) having fun! Hope you can sort through all the estate issues without too much grief. Hugs, Judy

    ReplyDelete
  44. I hope you will post something else soon! I am getting depressed with this "headline" on your blog....I like you. I hope you are not being burdened with criticism at a time when you should concentrate on grieving and healing. Praying for you especially, and also the poor world.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Cute that you are wondering about chocolate for you. My adult nephew once worked for Target as the candy buyer - can you imagine? He went to Paris and guess what he forgot to bring his favorite aunt??? chocolate! lol
    So sorry for the stress, grief and frustration over settling John's estate.
    I dearly love the lake pics, especially those grandgirls and their doggie.
    God bless you, Vee. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  46. Getting caught up here and just now reading your post. I have never been where you are so I don't know exactly how this goes but I have heard other's experiences and understand that it has to be one of the hardest things to do. I worry what others think of me, more than I should, no doubt...I guess there needs to be a happy medium somewhere in between. I will pray that you are able to get everything settled very soon...and you take the time you need for yourself to grieve and heal. Boy, the pictures of that lake sure look refreshing. If someone told me to go jump in a lake, I might just take them up on it! :) Stay cool and hang on to THE Life Preserver...hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Getting caught up here on your blog Vee. I often think of you and hope that you are doing okay as you sort through things that need doing and getting done the things that are difficult!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for commenting! If you ask a question, I will answer it here in case anyone else was wondering. Reply boxes are provided so that you may feel free to interject a thought on any comment. I do love good conversation!