A Haven for Vee

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Thank You for Praying and Thinking of Us



Before anything else, I want to thank you for your prayers and encouragements. I've received such supportive comments, emails, and letters. They are very much appreciated. Indeed, sometimes a fellow blogger offered such insight that I was able to use the information shared to better help and protect my family.

Sometimes Real Life and Blogland walk along harmoniously, but in my world Real Life has become something of the proverbial "train wreck." For that reason, until things calm down again, I am taking a extended break from blogging. I have even considered tiptoeing gently away forever because I simply no longer have the time for blogging or for visiting, which is by far the thing I most miss.

I will share an upbeat thing with you today and then some fine day, when you least expect it, I'll catch you again I hope. Nan, my grandmother, was coming to live with John and me for a season when last we chatted. We still hope for that, but she was hospitalized with a fracture in her back that radiated such pain that for several days she was misdiagnosed with a pancreatitis attack. After five days or so of being in the hospital and having to say goodbye to my mother who was herself heading off to the hospital for cancer surgery, my grandmother was transferred to a nursing home.

It may be that there are wonderful nursing homes, but the one where my grandmother stayed had both John and me concerned. There was a lack of staff and the facility was not clean. My grandmother suffered through over a week of that. Sometimes we were there three times a day just checking. I'm sure that the staff became very weary of our actually taking them up on their 24-hour-a-day policy. There were some wonderful people there, but all it takes is one bad nurse or CNA to negate it all. Nan kept going by looking at my mother's picture above. (I think my mom was about my age now when that photo was taken. Noooo, not the baby picture. Gheesh, you guys are a tough crowd. ;> )

In the meantime, my mother was enduring her own struggles and it soon became apparent that she would be unable to go home without further care and assistance. She was released from the hospital and admitted to a rehabilitation center. She had been there a few days when they told her that there was an open bed if she would like my grandmother to go there. Oh yes, she would. Oh yes, Nan would love to go. Oh happy day. Until...

Friday found us at the car with everything packed and Nan in her wheelchair ready to get in. We heard a call, "Wait!" Apparently, the nursing facility had hit a snag and didn't feel able to deal with my grandmother's needs over the weekend. Unbelievable! I felt my heart sink and a cloud descended over my grandmother that we could actually see. The Word of God says that "hope deferred makes the heart sick." Oh so true.

By Saturday, Nan had been returned to the hospital because her right side was weak. My sister went to be with her while John and I handled yet another family fire. The doctors couldn't find a thing wrong with her and though my sister practically begged them to hold onto Nan over the weekend knowing that she'd be transported to the new facility on Monday, she was released back to the nursing facilty from whence she'd come. Ackkk...

We encouraged Nan to be ready for Monday...eat, get lots of rest, keep her spirits up because then she'd be reunited with my mother. She smiled at us weakly. Her vocabulary dwindled to nearly nothing. Her eyes didn't sparkle anymore. We worry. We pray. John prays for her every time we leave and she thanks him with a tear.

Yesterday morning I made a call to the receiving nursing facility...everything was a go. I called the releasing nursing facility...problems. My grandmother would be evaluated before they could release her and since she appeared to be "unstable" it didn't look good. When I got off the phone, I think I must've looked like a wild woman. My one mission in life was to get two of the dearest women in all the world to me back together again. John was so supportive and he began immediately to pray. Calmness descended and clarity reigned.

I knew exactly what I would say and do with firmness and kindness: Yes, Nan would be leaving their facility. In fact, we would be leaving at 11 sharp. I had already signed release papers on Friday, there'd be no need to sign again. No, she would not be transported by ambulance. We could make her very comfortable in the car. Lots of sweetness and thank yous (even if I didn't feel so much like being sweet nor saying "thank you.")

So we left before 11 am. We drove the 15 miles to the new facility under clear blue skies and bright sunshine. Nan commented on the vividness of the dandelions, the beauty of the lupines, and the fading of the rhododendrons.

Fast forward to her being settled in her room. Lunch had arrived and the nurse was helping her with that. When the nurse stepped aside, there was my mother standing with her walker wearing a big smile. As recognition dawned on my grandmother, her face began to glow and she lifted her arms to gather my mom in. John started to cry. I was crying. It was worth it all for that golden moment.

The last thing I told my grandmother yesterday was that I was taking the first break in a few weeks today. She said, "Why? What are you doing tomorrow?" Cracked us up!

You take care of yourselves and create a wonderful day...

55 comments:

  1. Vee,
    I have been thinking about you, your Mom and your Grandmother and was glad to see your update. I am so happy to hear that the 2 dear ladies in your life were finally able to be together. Although, it must have been very hard on all of you in the process! Since I have been dealing with assisted livings, nursing homes and hospitals for several months now with my own Mom I can feel for you. It is very stressful. You must be doubly stressed having both of them sick at the same time. I am so glad you have a wonderful husband to be with you through this. It makes the journey a lot easier.

    I will keep all of you in my prayers and hope you are able to find some time to take care of yourself. I know that is easier said than done at times like this, but it is so important.

    Hugs & Blessings,
    Kim

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  2. You have had a busy and stressful time. How fortunate your mom and grandmother are to have such loving advocates. You will continue to be in my prayers.
    Sue

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  3. I wish I could give you a huge hug. You are going through some very rough waters. I'll never forget our time in those same waters.

    Tears nearly ran over as you got to the reunion. Such joy and such power relationships can bring!

    Oh, don't be a stranger. If you can only post now and then it would be so much better than not hearing from you at all.

    You have been and are a blessing to so many.

    Take care!

    Becky

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  4. Oh my goodness Vee. Good for you for taking your Grandmother out of that dreadful place, glad you put your foot down...you are her Angel. Sometimes our gut speaks loud and clear and we MUST listen...so many don't and then regret it later.

    I am so glad your Mom and her Mom can be together, that will be good for BOTH their spirits and yours as well.

    Take your time, breathe,,,,,LIVE.
    As you know I blog way less than I used to and with summer comes more time away from the computer and spending more time with what matters most. You can email me any time if you ever feel like it, I'd love it...but no pressure!!

    HUGS,
    Robin

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  5. Vee, you and your dear sweet family have been in my prayers and thoughts. I've looked for you each day and am disappointed not to find you. I was so glad to get an update, and to hear that your mom and Nan are back together. It will be good medicine for them both. And they are both lucky to have you caring for their best interests and their needs. I'm very thankful that you have John in your corner, too. What a blessing he must be right now!

    Please don't leave us here in blogland. Take the time out to care for your family, but just check in with us from time to time and let us know how things are going. We're all here for you, and I've learned that my friends here on this computer are very real, and supportive, and Godly, and fine, and I need them. You rest and recoup and rejuvenate and let us know of specific things that we can pray for. God bless you all! Vickie

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  6. Don't leave us! Well, not forever anyways.. I love reading your blog and the thought of not being able to any more is very sad to me.
    I understand that you just don't have the time right now though.

    I was crying while reading that story about your Nana and Mum. What a great ending though. So sorry that you had to go through all of that though. So much stress! I can only imagine.

    Just know that I will continue to pray for you and send good energy your way. Hopefully both of your special ladies will get well soon!

    God Bless!!
    ((Hugs))
    Laura

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  7. Oh, my, you are certainly where you need to be. I thought is was different here in the blog community when I didn't read you in quite awhile but thought you were caring for your grandmother but not like this. You need to build up strength and we will be here to open our arms to you when you return. God bless.

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  8. I understand totally about you needing a break, but please don't walk away forever. I would so miss reading your lovely blog. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  9. Vee,
    I have been thinking of you so much lately, and praying for you and your family! I am so happy that your two special ladies are together,I was so touched by their reunion, I think that twinkle may be back now!!! and that they have you and John along with your sister to make sure all is right!

    Please know that I will continue to pray for healing and for strength for you all!!! I am sending you a big hug,but I know the one that you and John are really feeling is the loving and caring arms of our Lord!!!

    Vee, I know you need rest and time to recuperate, and please get some.. but please don't leave blogland for good. We,... I need your wit and wisdom, you are so inspiring to me!!

    Sending much love , and prayers to you and your family,
    Sue

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  10. I was so happy to read when your mom and grandmother finally got together.
    I can certainly understand why you need a break from blogging, but I sure hope you don't stay away forever. I would miss you!!! You are one of my blogging friends who I would love to meet in person one day. :-)

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  11. You know it was a hard test, but you came through with flying colors. With prayer and graceful determination you fought the good fight. I hope you can find some down time to rest and be blessed by the Lord today.

    Hugs and love,
    Cindy

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  12. Wow, I'm sooooooooooooooooooo glad to find a post here!!!!!!!!!!!! So happy!

    I need to re-read it, to digest it. But I think you are free of a bit of angst, at this particular moment. And this makes me happy.

    If you need a blogging break, take one. But please, don't delete your blog or anything. Keep it please and visit, when it will feel good to/for you, to do so. Not to blog. Just to drop in at some old friends. Just for a perk-up, for you.

    'Cause YOU are the most important part of this whole matter, to me. May not be proper to say that, but you know it's true, to me. So why not say it? Vee is the most important part of all of this family troubles saga!

    Gentle hugs,
    Aunt Amelia

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  13. I know those seasons of life that hit with multiple challenges can be hard.

    Praying for you!

    I hope to see your comments once in awhile on my blog, you are missed when you are not there. :)

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  14. Dearest Vee, over the weekend I spoke of my blogging friends and how I would not know them by their faces if I met them on the street. The truth is, those friendships are very precious and there are real people behind each story. My eyes filled up with tears reading the story of your family. Please take all of the time you need to care for the two generations of women before you. But please think twice before giving up blogland. We are neighbors here in heart and we truly care for you. Praying you are blessed today and that healing can begin in earnest as your mother and grandmother are reunited. ~Kathy

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  15. I will miss you, Vee! My heart is so full to hear about your mother and grandmother being reunited! I pray they will have some very special time together!

    Adios for now...

    Stay Cozy, Carrie

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  16. God bless you and your precious family! I hope you get some rest now and enjoy the company of your family and friends. I also hope you won't tiptoe away from us here in the blogging world - you are a bright spot for many.

    Take care,
    Annette

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  17. It was good to see an update today...and know that you are OK...even if you are having stress piled upon stress in your life! How nice to have John at your side to see you through this...and may both your mom and grandmother recover fully from their ills. My thoughts and prayers will be with you...as you take a break to spend time with your family. Many blessings to you all!

    PS I love the pic of your mom. Who is the beautiful baby?

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  18. Dear Vee, I'm so sorry your going through all of this. I will continue to pray for you and your family. It's very stressful having one person in the hospital. or an extended care facility. much less two. The health care industry has deteriorated so much in the last five years. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like in the future. I will miss you. You have been a good bloggy friend ♥ You will not be forgotten. Your mother and nanna are blessed to have you and John taking such good care of them.

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  19. Oh Vee...... what a story....... and then the two of your loved ones reunited ....... I am still wiping the tears..... Please don't sneak off....... just take as long as you ...... but please come back to us .... Oh that sweet John..... I am sure he is your strength in all this....
    Warm hugs dear one...
    Linda

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  20. Vee, thank you for the update on your family. I was so teary eyed as I read this. What sweet love between mother and daughter. I am glad you got to witness this!

    I am certainly fine with you not visiting.... but do please keep in touch with us by posting from time to time if you can. I hate to give you up!

    Prayers for you and your lovely family.

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  21. My first thoughts are a little selfish. I have just met you and are going to lose you. You will do what is best. That is because you are a WOW, Woman Of Wisdom. I want to present you three wise women with a WOW pin. (No way to really get it.) But it is my way of spiritual support and prayer for your entire family. Go to my blog WOMAN OF WISDOM.
    QMM

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  22. Vee, I have been checking daily and praying daily when you haven't been there. Glad to hear that you have progressed so far with your mom and grandmother - and John? What a treasure in your life!

    I'll keep praying!

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  23. Vee, you and your family are in my prayers. I'm so glad you were able to get both your grandma and your mom to a nursing home where they are getting good care.

    Take care of yourself. We will miss you, but for now you need to take care of your mom and grandma.

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  24. Hi Vee

    I fully understand how right now your priorities are your Mom and your Nan, and yourself and John.

    Don't worry about us --we'll all be here for you when you have free time again and feel like blogging. Take all the time you need and spend all those precious moments with your family, with God's love and grace to guide you.

    I have been keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to do so my friend.

    Love and hugs, Pat

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  25. Dear Vee,
    I do hope that all improves with your grandmother and mother. It is so wonderful to know that they are able to stay together. I am sure it is a great comfort to them as well as you.
    You will be missed,and definitely not forgotten! Still thinking of you and keeping your family in our thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs,
    Jennifer

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  26. Dear Vee, what an experience. I am so glad that it all worked out, after much worry and fear and head-scratching and tears. Take some time and get a little break. I am praying for you all - your darling Mum (how is she doing?) and Grandma too. I hope they both recover from their recent experiences and it is so nice they have each other. Sometimes all we need IS love to keep us going. It's all that matters, isn't it?! They are both lucky to have such a good friend and daughter in you.

    Big hug and prayers, Terri xo

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  27. My goodness sweet Vee!!! What an adventure but with such a wonderful result...I'm so very happy that they are together, recovering and hopefully feeling better each and every day. Please do rest and take care of you and John, you two are so wonderful....I'll be sure to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers sweet friend, xxoo, Dawn

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  28. Vee,
    I've been thinking of you and your family and said a prayer. Hope things settle down. My family is undergoing many stresses right now too so I can relate. Hope you will be able to return soon. V.

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  29. Oh Vee, I think of you daily when I am blogging...I miss your visits! I do understand though, and I shall continue to keep you and your family in my prayers!
    Take care and may God bless you my blogging friend!
    Blessings!
    ~Nadine

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  30. A wonderful post. You probably need a time to relax and recuperate.

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  31. Dear Vee,

    You, your Mom, your Nan and John, plus all your other family members remain in my prayers. I'm so thankful things worked out for them regarding their living facilities! I will miss your blog something terrible, and I do hope you decide to return to it sometime in the future, but you are doing exactly what anyone would do in a situation like this! I wanted to email you, but I don't know if you went ahead with switching your email and such! Drop me a note when you can and let me know where to keep in touch with you!

    Much love! Juanita

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  32. What trials we are given to show our strength in Him! Blessed thoughts are with you! You are so lucky you have both of these incredible women in your life and what an incredible loving husband as well! Please get your rest and we will all be waiting for your return when the time is right.

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  33. Oh my dear Vee, I'm so sorry to hear of the trials you and your family have gone through! I thought of you out of the blue last night. I guess I hadn't visited here for a while and I missed your earlier posts about your grandmother and mother. I'm so sorry.

    It must be such a difficult time for you. I'm so glad you have John to give you love and support and help. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself, dear Vee.

    xoxo,
    Mary

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  34. Vee,
    I think a blogging break whether it be an extended one or a permanent one is much needful for you right now. While I will miss you dearly, I hope you will shoot me an email from time to time and let me know how you and your family are. I am glad you were able to get all the kinks worked out in caring for your dear Nana. I will continue to pray. Much love and hugs,
    Miss Sandy

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  35. You have been in my heart and prayers Vee.

    I have much catching up to do as I see from your update!

    Prayers and hugs,
    Kathi :)

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  36. Vee, Do what you need to do for you and your family. At this time it certainly appears that a blogging break is in order. Check in when you can, rest while you can. We'll all be here when you return.

    Your friend, Suzanne

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  37. Oh dear heart, you had me in tears. Tears for the challenges you face and tears for the golden moment you shared. What a precious and magical moment. While selfish, I know, I will be missing you greatly. You bring a bit of sunshine to my day and you will be missed more than you know. I will pray for you and your lovely family and hope than one day things will come together and you will be able to breathe a sigh. Email if you are inclined. I would love to hear from you and don't be surprised if you see my name in your inbox sometime. Until we hear from you again, take care my friend.
    Love,
    Jan

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  38. i am so glad it turned out well! what a weight lifted off your heart.

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  39. Oh jVee,
    I cried when I read this. Oh thank the Lord that you were able to pull this off. I am so happy at the thought of the two of them together. Happier still that you can drive to one place to visit them both. I love you so much Vee, and I pray that God renew you and your husband's strength after such a stress ful ordeal.

    I will miss you posting for a while. I know that when everything is as good as new, you'll be back. I will have a great big welcome sign on my blog waiting for your return.

    May God bless you and your family.

    Blessings, Karen

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  40. I read this with tears in my eyes. The love you have for these two women is beyond words. I had a Grandmother I loved with all my heart and she died in my arms when I was 16 years old. I still miss her so much and think of her everyday. I will miss you my friend...m.

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  41. Vee,
    I am thinking of you today.

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  42. Hi Vee

    I've been thinking and praying for you almost daily. I'm hoping that things are going well and that you mom and g-mom are spending their time re-cooperating together.

    I wish you the strength of Gods love to help you through this time.

    Leann

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  43. Sending warm hugs your way! I've been in your shoes and it is so much to carry. Glad you know the strength of the Lord.

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  44. Vee, continuing to think of you and keep you in prayer.

    Take your time. Would hate to lose you to blogland completely.

    It may help to do fewer posts. I have often wondered how you managed so many.

    Blessings to both you and John.How your Mother and Grandmother must appreciate you both. Love Barbara

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  45. Hi Vee,
    Just wanted to stop by and let you know i am still thinking and praying for you and your family,
    Blessings,
    Sue

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  46. Godmorning,

    I love your blogg and i wonder if I can borrow some pictures to my blogg!

    Regards from Sweden and Agneta

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  47. Vee, I completely understand your feelings and need to be in your real life. You are right where you need to be.

    Praying for you and your family during these tough days.

    And I am hoping secretly you'll still pop in to visit because I would miss you so!

    Meanwhile, you do what you need to do, take care of yourself so you can be available to everyone who needs you.

    blessings,
    melissa

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  48. Dear Vee,
    Even though you don't know me I pray for you and your family every night. I love your beautiful blog and hope that all well be well with your Grandmother and Mother.
    Hugs, Sandy

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  49. Dear Vee,
    You're making me cry! I know what you are going through. My mother was in a car wreck and my father in law was in a motorcycle wreck within two weeks of each other. We are now running back and forth trying to visit both and make decisions about what they are both going to do now. They are both widows and have no one to take care of them at home.

    I'm praying for you and your family.
    Hugs,
    Cathie

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  50. May all your love and concern for your mother and grandmother return to you someday! May your children and grandchildren rise up and called you "Blessed One!" AND may all your daughters and granddaughters have as godly a husband as you do, always willing to pray and pointing us to the ONE who goes before us in every circumstance!

    If you can't ever come back to blogland don't feel deprived. I learned long ago that God uses us as He chooses "for a season" then moves us on!

    Blessings to you today!
    Gwen

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  51. I've been thinking of you a stopped by to see what's new. I'm so glad that your Mom and her Mom can be together! The whole nursing home thing is so hard. We went through it with my MIL. I was very touched reading your post and understand totally about needing to take a break. Take care of yourself!

    Hugs,

    Manuela

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  52. You are in my thoughts and prayers, thanking God for you today! :)

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  53. Well, you are not the only one crying with that sweet ending! What a stressful week for you all, and I am so happy your dear mum and grandmother could be reunited. You have been in my thoughts often, and will continue to be as you have definitely crossed the boundary of blogging friend and real friend (although we have never met).

    Vee, take the time you need to refocus yourself and care for everyone, including yourself. Your blogging friends will remain, and although we will miss you and your sweet comments, when you feel ready to rejoin the crowd, we will be happy to have you. Althought I am not going through the stress you are, I feel torn about blogging, too. I am so busy lately, and I don't have the time I want to visit all of my blogging friends, either...which makes me feel guilty. Lately, it seems I am lucky to write a decent post. I refuse to become a blogger who treats it as a job (for good reason or not), but I still feel I am missing the benefits of blogging without guilt, like I had in the early days. Remember those? You were one of my first blogging friends!

    Anyway, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, and come back when you are ready...

    Cheers,
    Linda

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  54. Agneta~

    I tried to get in contact via email, but my email program is no longer working to click on "email" in bloggers' profiles...sorry! I can't imagine what photo you would find worthy of using, but as long as you provide a link back, I'd be happy to allow you to use one or two.

    ~Vee

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