Saturday, May 13, 2017

Changes

Anyone out there like changes? It has to be a healthful thing if one is able to embrace them since there are so many in this life.

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This represents a big one for me. The home that my son and daughter-in-law and my daughter purchased fifteen years ago has now officially been outgrown. Those grandsons need room to grow.

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At the time, it was a wonderful concept. My daughter lived upstairs and my son and family lived downstairs. Expenses were shared and, of course, the mortgage was divided.


Now they are moving on. It appears that everyone is moving out of town. My daughter has purchased land some distance away upon which her new home will be built over the summer; my son and his wife are looking at a home in a neighboring town.

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So give me a pep talk, if you will. Do your children and grands live in your town? Too far away? What is good or bad about that? 

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Happy Mother's Day weekend!


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48 comments:

  1. Vee, I only had my oldest daughter living in our hometown. I did see her children more. Even though the other 3 daughters live within two hours...that a great lot of driving for me and I just don't do it as often as I used to. I miss out on so many evening school things also. Games and things like that.
    I loved the cute house your children own. I hope they don't move too far away. Go as often as you can to see them. I wish you a Happy Mother's Day. Blessings, xoxo, Susie

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  2. Happy Mother's Day weekend, Vee. I don't have children but I feel sure it will be exciting for you to be able to visit and spend time in both new locations. I wish them all much success/happiness. You'll have to keep us up to date on the details! xo

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  3. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I love that house!!!!!!! How lovely, Vee. Only, I wish we could buy it, sigh.

    My family lives 2100 miles away in Florida. I haven't seen anyone in 4 yrs, and I have never met my brothers children, how sad is that? My husbands family live not far from here- again, we never see them. I told my son when he gets out and has a family of his own, his wife and him will have to kick me out, as I will be very involved with the grandkids, just saying.

    Change is hard...that I know for sure. I am hoping you will be able to visit them...a very Happy Mothers Day to you my lovely friend. BTW, Commencement is tomorrow (in the rain-outside, sigh)--and I simply LOVE YOUR NEW HEADER!!!!

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  4. From a mom who has lived both scenarios . . . I won't lie. I'd rather have all my babies nearby. There are more frequent visits and the sharing of everyday moments. (I don't mean "every day." I mean ordinary moments. Small things.) Especially when grandchildren are involved, because it is harder to keep connections with small children when they do not "know" you and see you frequently.

    That said, with effort, there can still be wonderful connections. You must go the extra mile and be creative to remain a "presence" in the family. And visits become very special and you can pack a lot of meaningful time in when you know it's limited.

    One thing about mamas, we want what is best for our children! I know that you will find ways to make the changes work!

    (Are they a little bit sad to leave that charming house?)

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  5. My 4 sons and their families have always lived pretty far away. Now two of my sons live in NC but one is 2 hours away and one is 6 hours away. The other two live in Texas and New York. The good thing about it is when they come to visit they stay a week and I get more quality, sit back and relax time.

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  6. All my children and grandchildren live in Bath Township, so quite close to me. I love this. It was not always so. Emily lived four hours away for years, and then eight hours away. Although sometimes it can get noisier than I am used to anymore. Last night both my daughters and all four grandchildren were over. But I think I am very lucky....It sounds as though your children and grandchildren will not be hours away so I think you can see each other often.

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  7. And I am wishing you a happy mother's day weekend! And strength for the sad anniversary which is coming up. I know how that is. Prayers coming your way.

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  8. Oh Vee - these changes are hard ones. I am so very thankful that my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter now live so close - I really didn't know what I was missing when they lived a one day flight away!! Thankfully they aren't moving too far and I'm sure you will make the effort to stay involved in their lives. Their home is beautiful and how smart of them to share the costs over the years - allowing them to now make changes as they wish! Happy Mom's Day dear Vee.

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  9. I hope your sons not moving too far away w/his family! It's pretty tough when they are so far away as all of my grands are, Vee. Seeing them once or twice a year just isn't enough. Happy Mother's Day!

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    1. Kim! I was just thinking about you because I was washing the windmill plates for the fence. I like to get them scrubbed at least once a year. 😉 Today was the day. Can't see them without thinking of you!

      I can not imagine how difficult it is to have the family so far apart. Ever think of moving nearer to them or is that just not something you'd consider?

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  10. My daughter and son in law live about 45 minutes away and I tend to see them more than my son who lives one street over. I love having them both close by though!

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  11. Happy Mother's Day Vee!
    It will be hard for awhile, but will be
    fun to have the boys visit and a new place to go.

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  12. What a beautiful home! And as we all know....life is forever changing. My husband and I have 6 kids and 6 grandkids and they live scattered all over the country. I miss them like crazy, especially when a weekend like this one comes along. But I'm blessed that they call and send emails with pics and stay in touch. Happy Mother's day weekend my friend!

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  13. We moved almost 5 years ago to be closer to our daughter and her family. We are about 45 minutes away and see them all of the time. Our son and his wife and boys live 3 hours away and we see them every 6 weeks or so and their boys come and spend a few days with us here and there. It all works out pretty well.

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  14. Fabulous home! It's a tough one for us. We live close to oldest (20 minutes) and our youngest (20 minutes in the opposite direction). Our second born with our granddaughter live 6 hours away. Our youngest really doesn't know where she and her husband will settle once he has his Aeronautical Engineering degree and finds a job. Could be Oregon, Texas, California or who knows where. Our oldest has no plans to move out of the area. Our middle will stay put 6 hours from us. Dear is still unemployed and if we truly retire it will be tough to afford living in the Seattle area. So...do we sell our home for the big bucks and buy a little bucks home near our second son where the cost of living is way less than Seattle? That's where we are right now, in decision mode, with a fleece. Soon those grandsons will be able to drive and I hope they come and take you out...

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  15. what a beautiful home. I know it's hard for you Vee. My daughter and her family live 2 miles away from me. The kids think it would be GREAT if we lived next door. I think the parents are pleased we don't. haha. My stepchildren live 2 hours away which makes for a four hour round trip in a day (too far). A sunny day here in my neck of the woods. I hear more rain for tomorrow.

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  16. That house reminds me of our Savage house. It is beautiful.
    Except for about 4 years I've never lived near my kids or any relatives. I guess I've just learned to live with it.
    I do like change though as you probably already know. : )

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  17. My son only has weekend visitation with our granddaughter, we all miss out on so much of her life. It's hard because children change so much in such a short amount of time. I wish we lived closer and I wish her mother would allow us to share more of her life.

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  18. Well, since you asked... we have a son and his wife who live 35 miles away (basically, "in-town"). We love that. However, as you know, we are moving MANY miles and MANY states away this summer, so that status with this son will change. (with his tearful blessings, I should add)

    At our new location we will be a 2-hour drive from our daughter and her family and a 5-hour drive away from our other son and his family. Since none of us are used to living in the same town, this seemed a logical compromise between living on top of any of them and living a 3-day car ride away. We will have 3 (yes, THREE) guest rooms, so any of them can (and will) spend overnights with us, but seldom will people be dropping by unannounced. For me, that's a good thing.

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  19. I'm not always good at embracing change, but have found that in the end 'the change' has usually been for the better. My kids and grands all live within 6 miles of me. It's great having them close, but I'm not sure I see any more of them than I would if they lived in neighbouring towns (except for the ones who live across the field from me). As for your situation, I'm sorry that your family will all be living further away. Hopefully, you will still see much of each other! Happy Mother's Day, Vee.

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  20. Any change, even that for the better, is hard. I have never had the privilege of having any children. But I am the oldest of the 10 kids in my family so they are very much my "children". My sister, brother and niece and her family live in Maine. One of my brothers lives in upstate PA, one in TN, another down the Jersey shore and yet another about an hour away. One sister lives 2 hours away in northern NJ and another in NJ is about 3 hours away. We don't see each other much, but we keep in touch with facebook, emails and phone calls. If you want to stay in touch, there are ways. And I'm sure your kids and grandkids will stay in touch!

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  21. Christopher just got a job in the City and they signed a lease on a Townhouse this afternoon. They will be about an hour and a half away. Steph and family live 1,000 miles away. I try to look at it from an Eternal perspective. Sigh.

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  22. All four of my children live close by, Vee. My daughter lives about five miles away, one son, about seven miles, the next son lives here with me, and my youngest son lives about 25 miles away. My mom, sister and brother live a thousand miles away, but I talk to my mom and sister everyday, which is so nice. I hope the changes for your kids will be good ones. Happy Mother's Day, Vee!

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  23. Well, they certainly shouldn't have trouble selling this beautiful place! I'm the one that moved away from the rest of my family all those years ago. Since the boys have become adults, Aaron has always lived close by and in 2000 when Adam went off to college, he never returned...that's what happens when they go to Nashville. So... if what we are planning matches up with God's plan, we will be the ones leaving the area in possibly a year or so...you already know that though. Changes can be a good thing but of course there will be a time of adjustment for sure. I know those grandsons of yours aren't going to let distance stand in the way of seeing their favorite Grandma :)

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    1. Hahahahahaha...favorite grandma...maybe favorite nonni. 😉

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  24. Both my children and my 6 grands live on our property. There are pros and cons, but I would not have it any other way. I hope the changes are good for your kids and that you will now get more travel time, because you know you will want to see them often!!

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  25. It will be very different when your daughter and your son and family move away after living in one property, but if the grandsons need more space then it's one reason for making this decision. Our grown children and their families live in three areas of the UK. One daughter is not far away and we support one another, our son lives an hour's drive away and our other daughter often comes to stay with us. When my husband and I lived in Italy I missed family life and was pleased when we moved back to the UK. At least your son and family and your daughter will not be too far away. God bless you Vee.

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  26. I'm old school and like everyone living nearby. However that isn't the case anymore. Our son had moved to Pittsburgh back in 2015 and was back in 2016. It was hard while he was gone. Now our daughter is in Montana and it is very hard for me. I can't offer any advice. Happy Mother's Day to you.

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  27. I don't know how comfortable you are with driving Vee but at least you'll be able to visit the boys and other family, perhaps be invited to stay over?
    Happy Mother's Day, hope it's a nice one for you.

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  28. Oh Vee, what a lovely home your family is selling. Our son and youngest grands only live 60 miles away and our daughter and son-in-law live 600 miles away. I find that distance challenging at times. Because their son lives with us we, or they, do visit at least four times a year-Christmas, Spring break, Beach week and one other time each year. We see our son and boys a couple times a month. I hope you will enjoy (as we do) having them visit us or you going to visit them. ♥

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  29. My Son lives in the same town, my daughter does at the moment but has plans to move. Her children will be staying here. Son and his wife are into what they are doing so don't see much of them. My oldest grandson lives about 40 minutes away and we see and talk to him often. Just recently sold our home to move to another state, but the more we thought about moving away the more we decided we needed to stay.

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  30. Having grandbabies live eight minutes away and now an 11 hour drive away...😢. Frankly every place is just a temp position until we get our perment digs in heaven and as long as we all wind up there this current situation is just one more trial on earth to bear. Bigger concern: aging and needing loved ones nearby or paying for care. Come quickly Lord Jesus!

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  31. I feel bad that these changes are upsetting you. This was really a gorgeous house and a nice arrangement for all. You really hit on a great question just in time for Mother's Day. For myself, I would get a little nutty if I weren't living near my four kids. I miss them when I'm on vacation. Sometimes when I'm 2 hours aways at the lake and my girls call, I want to be sitting right there with them. I'm very sappy. I cried for days when each of them left home. I don't think I'm of much help here, Vee. But if they moved further away, I would adjust (at some point) and try to visit back and forth as time allowed.

    Happy Mother's Day, my friend.

    Jane x

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  32. That home is beautiful! I am thankful that both of my girls live near as one is next door and the other is just a few miles down the road. My son ( step son actually) lives about 45 minutes from us. We don't see him as much as I would like but we do enjoy some nice visits.

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    1. Hi Carol! Wish I could comment at your blog, but phoogle + does not allow me. Nevertheless, I very much enjoyed reading your tribute to your mom. She is blessed to have you, too! Hope that you land on a gift that she will enjoy🌷

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  33. Oh, I am not a good one to ask. Our two sons live out of state and I still haven't adjusted. Shed a few tears this morning about not seeing them today. Thankfully we do have a daughter who lives close by. I, for one, find most change hard. Sorry I guess I'm being a Debbie Downer. You just try to visit as often as you can. xo

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  34. What a beautiful New England house!

    As you know both my children settled from New York to Colorado. The eldest went to graduate school in CO and liked it so much he stayed and daughter fell in love with the state visiting her brother. When our son had children it was hard for me only to see them 3 times a year and when daughter was expecting I told my husband that we were moving to Colorado too...lol Thankfully we were able to do it. I lived on the same block in Brooklyn, NY for 57 of my 59 years before we moved, so it was a big adventure to pack up and go, but I don't regret a day of it. Change is good if it is for a good reason. I know your kids will be happy in their new homes. Being just a town away doesn't sound too bad, as you will still be able to visit them easily in good weather, and maybe spend a weekend now and then at their homes as a guest.

    I hope you had a very happy Mother's Day!

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  35. Wouldn't it be wonderful of our kids never left their home town? I have one daughter an hour away, which is quite doable as far as seeing her quite a bit. The other daughter is 600+ miles away and I miss her terribly. Fortunately she and her husband usually spend a week of their vacation time staying with us and we try to make it out to see them at least once a year. It is not enough, of course, but texting and calls and Skype makes it easier to keep up with all the daily little things we want to share and that is so important since those are the things that used to be lost before communication was so easy. I hope your kids aren't moving so far that it makes visiting hard. Prayers for you and them.

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  36. Hello Vee, I am a first-time visitor to your blog, dropping in from Kathy's blog (Looking at Life Through My Bifocals). We may be New England neighbors, as we currently live in NH. To answer you question about family, one of the reasons we relocated here from VA was to be closer to family living in RI and CT and we are the ones trying to sell our VA home! Please feel free to drop by our blog anytime for a visit, as we always enjoy company and comments too😊

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  37. oh dear Vee....this will be a huge change for you. I can say that facetime, facebook and daily phone calls will be invaluable to you. Time marches on doesn't it! It will all turn out well....have faith in that! Warm hugs!

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  38. It is a beautiful old home Vee. I'm sorry they are moving a bit farther away from you. As you know our daughter and her husband and our 3 grandsons live a long way from us in Alberta, clear across the country, and that is not fun. It's fun to visit them a couple times a year and we are blessed and grateful to be able to do so but they can't afford to fly here as air travel in Canada is ridiculously high and with 5 tickets to purchase it can cost thousands of dollars. So, we go to them. Having our son just down the road less than half a mile is great but we don't annoy each other either. lol They have dogs and cats so we don't get to do babysitting duties although we tend the pets if need be. They have bought property an hour away (way out in the 'sticks') and hope to build on it some day. I won't like that as it's nice to know they are close by in an emergency now that we are getting 'older'. I hope the distance from your kids and the grandsons won't be a huge inconvenience for you Vee. It will take some adjusting but you can still drive and so can they! I wish them well with the house sale. It really is a sweet looking house.

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  39. Our youngest daughter and her family (including 6 of our grands!) live all the way across the country in northeastern Nevada. Three time zones away! I must say it has been much easier than I ever would have thought such a thing would be. We have tried to visit them once a year, but last year did not work out due to our eldercare responsibilities and so we have not seen our daughter, son-in-law, or the kids for two years. We have a little granddaughter out there whom we have not yet met (except via Skype). Just today we booked tickets for a trip!

    All that to say, it will probably be easier for you than you think, also. God is always in the details and He will work out what is best for all of you.

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  40. You are so right about the ability to embrace change being a healthful thing. That ability has never been my strong point, but I am getting a bit better as the years go by. I think the change you will soon face with your family moving away would be hard particularly since they will all be moving at once (or I assume they will). The current situation with all of them close by sounds ideal. Hopefully they will still be close enough to see on a regular basis.
    I have one son close by and the other along with my grandson moved out of state a few years ago. Gulp! That has taken some getting used to. On the bright side it has given us a new vacation destination and we enjoy our FaceTime visits on a weekly basis.
    I hope you will keep us posted on how it all works out for you and your family.
    By the way, I love their house. So charming.

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  41. It will be an adjustment but I'm sure that you will see them often and perhaps discover new places and create nice rituals. Changes is always scary but not always bad. A big hug!
    Amalia
    xo

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  42. Hopefully, they will locate within a reasonable driving distance, Vee! Our youngest daughter lives with her husband and sons a 35 minute drive away via the freeway and our oldest daughter lives in downtown Milwaukee, about a 20 minute drive via freeway. They both work but we do get to see them at least once or twice a month, either together or separately, especially when we take the grandsons for overnights. I think if I didn't have my husband, I'd prefer to live closer, though. Especially closer to the grandsons :) The one certainty in life is change, unfortunately. Hopefully, the adjustment will be an exciting one for you, Vee.

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  43. Hopefully they will still be close enough that you'll see them often. I truly feel for you; that will be a huge change after having them so close. This is a tough one for me as my kiddos have lived most of their lives away from the Grands due to hubby's job. I wish it could have been different. Now that my second baby is getting married it's hitting me how difficult it is to be be separated from family. The oldest and her hubby live in Tennessee while the second with her new hubby will live in South Carolina. Since our move we are in the middle which is helpful for seeing them & getting there if they need us, but we are still just over two hours away.

    I hope all is well with you. We are in the final countdown of crazy weeks between high graduation for one and the wedding for another. And I hope that you Mother's Day was wonderful!

    Jen @ Fiddle Dee Dee

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  44. Hmmm... first, cute house!

    Second... My son lives in Minnesota and we get along better now that he lives that far away. I love him dearly, but we've always butted heads. I think we appreciate each other more. My daughter lives at home still, but she's kind of like a roommate that asks for money all the time and gives hugs in return LOL I think when kids move away, they get a chance at their own life. I know when I finally moved away from my mother, it was like a breath of fresh air, but my mother on the other hand, wants me living next door. We have a difficult relationship lol

    I didn't really help at all, did I? LOL! Sorry, my friend. I'm sure it'll be fine though.

    hugs to you,
    rue

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  45. One daughter is 3.5 hours away, and the other is 16 hours away. Of course by plane the second is only 4 hours away. But the expense keeps me home more than not. Glad for the 3.5 hour drive and the joy that lies at the end of that drive.

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