Reporting from The Ponderosa
When one day is very like the next, it does not make journal keeping terribly interesting for the writer and certainly not for the reader. Every day, I don my uniform: a pair of capris, a t-shirt, socks and shoes, an apron, a bandana, and work gloves. (I was supposed to take a selfie of this get-up for a friend, but for the life of me, I can not figure out how to best do it. I am certain that this is just as well. ☺) I fill my insulated cup with lemonade and head off for The Ponderosa. Once there, I open the large bay doors and begin the day.
~behind the barn~
This usually consists of sorting tools, identifying tools, finding a home for said tools, nail sorting, and general clean-up. John saved every piece of paper, books, tools, containers, all manner of things. John has all the accouterments for landscaping, carpentry, automotive, electrical, plumbing, machinist work, masonry, and probably something I am forgetting. He was a hoarder collector. He was also an incredibly talented person who needed a lot of junk.
While I am often there alone, some days John's sister joins me. She has been a godsend helping to haul trash to the transfer station and doing what I cannot do, even though I am younger. Mary can climb like a mountain goat. Look at her up there in the loft! (I can NOT do that.)
~Mary in the Loft~
She found a lot of things up there that I had no idea of. She'd say, "I'm handing this down," and I'd say, "Let's leave it up there!" I know that that's no way to clear a barn pretending that things don't exist by having them out of sight and mind. Mary also likes nothing better than finding me lots of stuff to take to the transfer station on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.
In the evening, I am so tired that I usually fall asleep sitting in my chair. Life was better when John would gently wake me and ask if it might be time for bed.
Because of the challenges of this time, I have been using my blog as a way to determine what was going on as proof of this or that. Sounds interesting and vague, right? Anyway, I have been wandering around in my archives for the first year of our marriage in 2008. That has been fun and a wonderful reminder of all those things we did together that first year before the responsibilities of life descended.
Thought I'd share a photo from that first autumn together when I took a selfie of us before I even knew the term.
~2008 selfie~
The postscript on the race track behind The Ponderosa is that a town officer visited the new owner who repeated some of the same lies stories that he told me. The bottom line is that I now know that others have also been complaining, but there is nothing that we other property owners can do because he is allowed to do anything with his property, including having a race track. The new owner did say that he would limit his racing to a half hour a day and that he would put new quieter mufflers on his ATVs.
Over and out for another week or so. You just can't take all this excitement from my corner! Thank you for visiting me today...
It sounds like a monumental task to go through all of those tools and things. I have a man who is a do it yourself genius too and I KNOW it comes with a lot of hardware and many things I would have no idea what to do with. Earl also likes to keep a stock of things that he might some day use, and he has been waiting 30+ years to use some of them! I'm not sure I would be able to sort everything as soon as you are. I am glad you are finding some joy in looking back through your blog. When I began blogging almost 10 years ago, I really didn't even think about how wonderful it would be to look back over some of the posts as a way to remember things we did as a family. It has turned out to have been a very effective journal and one my whole family appreciates. Sending love your way and I keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteOn a silly note, Vee, men are worse collectors than we are. smiles.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in prayer sweet friend...you are so brave, I just want you to know that. smiles
Praying for you, Vee. Glad you have Mary to help you with this big task. May you find peace and joy again. Hugs, Beth
ReplyDeleteGood morning from Chewelah. Thank the Lord for dear Mary and her climbing skills and willingness to help! That's a large space with lots of stuff. Glad you have some of your great moments archived for reminders of your life with John. Continuing to pray for you dear Vee!
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in my prayers, Vee....That barn looks like a truly daunting task. A blessing that you have someone to help you, but even so, pace yourself....I don't know that you should do this every day, day after day. Do give yourself some down time! I think it is a good thing that the man who owns the track is willing to offer any concessions. It makes him sound less unreasonable. I hope he will do what he promised! Be well!
ReplyDeleteVee, I can not imagine the huge task you are doing each day. I'm so glad you have a willing partner in crime to ease the day. I love the selfie of you and John and that you have been looking back at your days with him. Hopefully the local fellow will follow through with what he should have done in the first place. Take care of yourself, my friend. ♥
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, Vee and praying the Lord will bring you comfort. Mary is your angel, you are holding up. I remember when I was a teen and my dad died suddenly at 50. My mom left his slippers by the bed for almost a year. You are making great progress with a difficult task!
ReplyDeleteThat is a very large task. I am so glad you have someone to help. I imagine when you are in there you are feeling John's hugs.
ReplyDeletexo
What's a transfer station? I have never in my life heard that term before reading this post.
ReplyDeleteHang in there Vee - and give your sweet SIL a hug from your blogging friends, she's peaches.
Hugs. ♥♥♥
I know what a transfer station is! So fun that a place to haul away junk where it can be sorted and hauled away again is the same thing in Canada and the US!
ReplyDeleteI continue to think of you and am so glad to hear that John's sister is there to hold you up!
Oh so much work to do. Ken is the exact same way. : )
ReplyDeleteNice that you have a helper. Lots of work keeps you busy and sometimes that's a good thing.
I think of you often during the day and say a little prayer for you.
Wish I could be there helping you!!
Will you work for nails? ; >
DeleteHugs to you, as you work through these things.
ReplyDeleteI've been feeling rather uninteresting here kind of as you described. But...the difference is that you actually have interesting things to share.
ReplyDeletePraying that God continues to hold you and help you through. Georgia and I were talking about the first year after a spouse is gone....she said it was definitely the worst. Glad you are keeping your days full and seeking out precious memories. Keep 'em coming. It is always great to hear from you.
I know it must be with a heavy heart to sift through these items that John had plans for. So much better that Mary is there with you. That is a precious photo of you both - I'm sorry for your loss. So many blog friends are holding you close in their hearts and prayers. God bless.
ReplyDeleteVee, that looked like John in the rafters up there! I emlarged the picture. Wow. Uncanny resemblance even for siblings. I am glad you have family nearby to help out. It is a huge undertaking and daunting to try to do it alone. I am not a climber, either. I hope that something can be done with that neighbor. Seems like rules are being bent too much in his favor.
ReplyDeleteThat is a sweet selfie of you and John. I know it must be quite a task for you to go through all of these things and make decisions as to what to do with them. You may not realize that what you are writing on your blog IS interesting. You have suffered a great loss and you have chosen to share some of what it's like and how life must go on afterwards. You may never know the lives you are touching by posting what's on your heart like this...and God bless Mary for being there for you! I have found out that I write much of what's on my blog for myself. Like you, I go back and read old posts sometimes as a way of re-living those moments and also like you said "as a way to determine what was going on as proof of this or that." What a wonderful way to look back on your life with John....through the years you've written volumes about him...what a gift that is!! I'm continuing to remember you in my prayers.
ReplyDeletehow sweet :: the selfie. :) and what a labor
ReplyDeleteof love you're carrying through - and with the
occasional help of your sis-in-law. she's a brave
woman to climb like that. yipes. and as to "uniforms",
i too wear one. i have a few that i wear t/o the week,
then launder and wear all over again. :)
What a dear, sweet picture of you and John, Vee. I certainly admire you for getting to all these tasks. How nice of John's sister to help you out. As for the neighbor, at least there's a time limit in effect for his racing, which should be a help. Best of luck, as you complete your work in progress...love, hugs, and prayers.
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny and cute with how you describe your daily activities and everything else. You will survive this season, hard as it is. I am still praying for you. Glad the guy with the race track has at least said he will tone things down. I hope that he does. I'm so glad you are not alone with the complaints. That should help some.
ReplyDeleteOh, I do like that photo of you and John. Oh that bittersweet process of gently going through the things our loved ones leave behind. Sending love and hugs, Brenda xox
ReplyDeleteYou are sure busy, Vee. It is no doubt a blessing for you right now.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness Mary is there to help!
Praying and thinking of you-Kim
such a great selfie photo...i had no idea you married in 2008...don' know why I assumed you'd been married longer...guess cause ya'll just seemed "to fit"..
ReplyDeleteI know it isn't easy disposing of things right now...so thankful for your sister in law...one of the best friends I've ever had in my life was one of my sister in laws...when she passed a few yrs ago, my heart was broken in a million pieces...
I can't imagine what you are gong thorough, Vee, but I don't think I could even get dressed. That's just me.
ReplyDeleteMy sister lost her husband when he was just 63 and she was 53. When she cleaned out his office it was a monumental job and she cursed that he saved everything going back 20 years. Still, her heart was in it. So it goes. You are not alone. Hang in there and never think we aren't here to listen to what you have in your heart and mind.
Jane
I know you treasure those years of journals filled with the things you and John did together. You didn't have enough years together but you made the most of what you had. Some people never know true love - no matter how long they have been married. You and John had what so many dream of. I am still grieving for John....I always talked to Louis Dean about you two and we dreamed of coming up to visit. You both mean so much to us. We all love you and want to know what and how you are doing.
ReplyDeleteWhat a mammoth task sorting through all those amazing things. Good hear you have some help. You are in my prayers, take care.
ReplyDeleteVee, after John's death I took time to go back to the very beginning of your blog and read. I was delighted at your love story and how God gave you each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have John's sister's help.
Glad you have made at least some progress with the noise issue. As for the clearing out, how good that you have some help, I am sure that makes it easier, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too. Hope that it keeps going as well as it can do. I love a good clear out and would be glad to help, but I am too far away! Just imagine me there in spirit even if not in person! xx
ReplyDeleteOh man - what a job! Maybe this is a blessing to help fill your days? Do be careful. Glad to hear that others are complaining about the racetrack too. Hugs....
ReplyDeleteWhew! What a lot of work, physical and emotional. I'm glad you have a little bit of help with all this. It probably seems overwhelming. Hope your neighbor really does tone it down a bit -- well, a lot!
ReplyDeleteI love the picture of those wildflowers and Queen Anne's Lace behind the barn. Blessings, Deborah
Oh Vee I can only just imagine the overwhelming job of going through all these work things of John's. Soo glad his sister is there to help you. I had to chuckle at your description of her of "climbing like a billy goat" haha. I would agree! I could never get up there either. My hubby is a "collector" as well and I frequently encourage him to get rid of things, lol. The pic of the two of you is a really cute one. Soo glad you have all of that time together journaled. Wish we lived closer....blessings to you! Debbie
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the exhaustion you must be feeling each day. That is a big job and one that would be taxing both physically as well as emotionally. It looks like you and Mary make a good team. I had to laugh at your descriptions of her climbing around like a mountain goat while finding new items to be dealt with.
ReplyDeleteLove that selfie of you and John as newlyweds. I do believe I became aware of your blog around the time you were married.
Glad to hear some progress was made with the race track, although it doesn't sound terribly promising. I hope he carries through with his promises.
Keeping you in my thoughts, dear Vee.
I hope you'll keep letting us know how you are and sharing photos. I know you need to get the work done and get things in order. Feeling that 'good tired' at the end of the day is good for you too. You are in my thoughts and prayers my friend. Sweet hugs, Diane
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet picture of you and John. Goodness, Mary is brave! Like you, I don't like heights. Maybe, the race track won't last long. If he's promised, in front of the authorities, that he'll limit his racing to 1/2 hour daily, I'll just guess that he'll find someplace else. Let's hope so.
ReplyDeleteWhen John passed on, I went back into your blog to those early days and enjoyed reading, again, your story. Such a gift you were to each other. That's a very sweet selfie of the two of you. I'm glad Mary is there to help you through the sorting out.
ReplyDeleteThe description of you falling asleep in your chair without John to awaken you and suggest a better place to sleep is poignant and conveys much of the loneliness you must be experiencing.
Hugs and prayers, Lorrie
I have been away for almost two weeks, Vee. We traveled up to the "crown of the continent" to Glacier NP and over to the Canadian side of the park. I can sympathize a little with the task you are now involved with as when my mother passed I had to clear out her house of 60+ years. She also collected many "memories" and "necessities" through the years. It is a poignant task and I'm glad John's sister is there to help you with your task. May your happy memories always bring you peace and the knowledge that John was happy and in love the last years of his life! (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteThere are beautiful weeds growing behind the barn and some great treasures 'growing' inside the barn too! What a job you have with cleaning out the Ponderosa and I'm glad you have a keen helper in Mary. That is a big undertaking. I love the selfie photo of you and John in your happy early relationship. Cherish the sweet times and memories. Hugs. Pam
ReplyDeleteDear Vee,
ReplyDeleteI just do not visit blogland like I used to. I can not figure out what happened for the life of me. One day it just stopped appealing to me. no real reason..but...
I am glad I took the time to visit you tonight...
Love and hugs,
Mona