A Haven for Vee

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Deep Cold

To be warm in a warm room is nothing; but to be warm in an icily cold room is to taste a very special pleasure, a security in danger, peace in a storm. ~Elizabeth Coatsworth

Exactly. This is just how it is every sub-zero winter morning in the upstairs bedroom. There is no heat  there. Still, with fleece sheets, a comforter, a very heavy quilt, and another 98.6 body, it's perfectly delicious.

I used to feel sanctimonious about surviving deep cold. After all, I'm up heah in northern New England and it's flippin' freezin' and we're tough. Now that there are lots of folks way south of here who are struggling with snow and more snow and dipping temps, my superior attitude has had to be adjusted. I laughed so hard reading Sandi's post called Temper Temper! She describes this northern weather visiting the South so well. If you like a bit of spunk, spice, and sass (as I do), you'll love reading this.

Thought I'd answer any lingering questions...if you have any, feel free to ask. My sister stayed this week to help get some final things accomplished. Unfortunately, she became very ill with the flu. It'd be great if she could take another week, but I don't imagine that can happen. My nieces both have been ill as well so I'm hoping that it stops with them. (I've just learned that my daughter is also ill. Where's my echinacea bottle?)

My sister Molly has now become our little pup. She is 14 years old and I'm hoping that she'll be around for a good while longer. I couldn't handle another upset just now. She missed my mother terribly for the first four or five days, but seems to have settled down and has really bonded with John, though she's pretty fine with me, too. Anyone who has tips for living with and caring for a geriatric miniature poodle please comment.

We are finding that grief comes in waves. Sometimes we're fine, then we'll hear a song, be given a hug, receive a special card or call... Don't ambush me in the dairy aisle and tell me how sorry you are for my loss if you don't want tears. Tears come at the most inopportune times.

I am looking forward to getting back to normal blogging though it won't be for several more days. Until then, I hope to catch up with you in Blogdom. You're so entertaining!


  1. When my dad passed away last year I was blessed to take his dog,(my little brother) home with me. He seemed to adjust immediately because he was use to me. I was thankful for that. I found him to be a comfort to me and am glad I took him. It does get better but don't feel bad if tears come at the most unexpected times.

  2. I have been thinking of you daily. I know those tears. Sending you warmth and hugs on your cold winter morning.

  3. Unfortunately Vee, I KNOW exactly what you are going thru and mean, about the tears coming at the most inopportune times! My Mom has been gone 9 mths yesterday, and it still happens to me. But, as I have found, in blogland and alot from YOU, is there are some very kind and understanding people who don't mind a bit and totally understand. Hopefully, you are finding that as well, as I am sure you are! Grieve when needed...it will happen alot, so expect it and welcome it!
    Much Love,

  4. Sending you a bouquet of sunshine my friend!


  5. Good morning, Vee, my friend. Been thinking about you alot lately and hoping and praying that things are getting a little better every day. It's alright to have tears. Anywhere and everywhere. You're entitled. We have to do that, and we all understand. I'd LOVE to run into you at the grocery store, altho that'd mean that one of us would have to move. And I'm sorry, but I can't take the winters that you guys are having, and looks like another'n is on it's way. Stay warm and cozy, enjoy have your "sister" around.

    Sorry I don't know much about poodles. I had a geriatic Pomerarian and now have a geriatic Chihuahua. My little pom started needing Depends after awhile and her hearing declined but we loved her and cleaned up after her. Bug, my chihuahua is doing fine so far, maybe has a bit of a cataract, but it's certainly not slowing her down. AFter you have your "sister" around for awhile, you'll notice if things are not just exactly right with her. I'm glad she's got you and John. You take care. Good to hear from you, and we'll be looking forward to a post in the near future. I'm sorry everybody got sick! Bummer!

  6. Vee,
    It has been 10 years since the loss of mother, father and husband in a year and a half. I am married to a wonderful man now but I have moments even now where a rush of emotion comes over me.

    Take care of yourself.


  7. The warmest of hugs from this southern person with temps in the high 50's today. I pray God will meet you at each corner and cloth you with His balm as you walk out this season of loss...may you allow yourself the time that is right for you!

  8. The craziest thing that set me off to crying after my Dad died was the little cover that goes over the screws on the toilet base. I KNOW! Strange....

    But, I was cleaning and knocked it off. It reminded me of the time their cat had put one of these in Dad's shoe. He, having had no feeling in his feet because of diabetes had it in there all day. It caused a horrible sore and he had to go to the ER and have surgery.
    So...months after he died, there I sat on the bathroom floor just sobbing. One just never knows....I recommend you just cry whenever you feel like it. It is cleansing.


  9. Beautiful quote by Elizabeth Costsworth and so very true! I think dear one, that little Molly is probably a gift to you from your mother... you have one another to hold and look after...dogs are specially good listeners and always have that special way to make us feel a bit better. How much more so since it is with your Mother's dear dog, your mother's lovely little canine friend. What a special gift.
    Blessing to you and your "little sister..."

  10. Here is something to make you smile - according to the Daily Mail headlines today, central heating makes you FAT. So having a cold room is clearly a sign that you will always be thin. Hmmm. Just what I needed to read. it went on to say that if you turn down the heat, you will move more therefore lose weight. Well, I have turned my heat down ALL WINTER and seem to be expanding. Groan.
    It takes time, Vee. The tears fall at unpredictable times. I know. Just be gentle with yourself, and enjoy the memories. I hope you stay well too!

  11. There is so much information about living with older dogs (http://vetmedicine.about.com/cs/doggeneral/a/caringseniordog.htm). My mother has had two poodles. The first lived to be almost 20 and the other one almost that age. I know that Molly will bring you lots of love.

    Molly may soon be the third warm body in your bed!

    You are in my thoughts daily. - - Sending you hugs.

  12. Oh Vee,
    I know nothing about caring for geriatric pups but I do know all about waves of grief when I least expect it.
    Let it wash over you and savour each one as an emotional steam bath. :) I have no idea how many times I would have to mop up from kindness alone but looking back. ..that became part of the memory which I now just cherish.

  13. I read Sandi's post, too, and laughed a huge belly laugh. That felt so good.

    Just let the feelings come, share your memories and let them help you heal.

    Hugs and prayers.

  14. I know what you mean about grief coming in waves. After a while it come less often and you will find yourself laughing at the good times more than crying.

  15. Grief rarely announces its arrival. But ignoring it is impossible.

    I've been thinking of you and praying for you often these days. Grace, comfort and peace to you...

  16. Can't imagine that anyone would not understand, if you are weepy, when they try to express their sadness for/to you. Although, I do the Hugs-thing in real life too, especially in these circumstances.

    I never know the *best words.* So I just hug them, and hold on for a beat, and let that "say" how I feel.

    And maybe lots of your Dear Readers have said this but... Don't push on yourself, to not have weepy moments or times. We each have to come to grips with loss, in our own way, and at our own pace.

    No, I'd not want you to be sadddd for toooo long. But you are too wise, to let that happen.

    And of course, I send Gentle Hugs... But I'm gonna' add my seasonal sig. line too. 'Cause life goes on. :-)

    Hugs and ♥'s...
    'Cause Valentine Day is coming!

  17. I'd much rather sleep in a cold room that a heated one. Soooo cozy and cuddly with about a zillion blankets and flannel sheets.

  18. Vee,

    My heart hurts for you and I keep you close in my prayers. I am glad to see that your humor is not hampered by your circumstances. Yes, we Southerns are WIMPS in cold temps! My hat is off to you Northern gals who can brave such cold dips.

  19. Hi Vee, it's good to see you posting. I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Let the tears flow whenever you need to. And let your loving memories comfort you and your sweet hubby John...that handy, real deal you caught! People who might read this comment are probably going "huh, what is she talking about?" I was thinking of that cute comment you made to me yesterday. You always have the right words for everyone and make us smile. I wish I had the right words of comfort for you. Just know that we are all thinking of you still and you are in our prayers. Hugs, Cheryl

  20. I'm thinking of you and praying as you go through this sad time, Vee. You are always such an inspiration to all of your friends. You live your life in such a giving way. I admire you! ♥

  21. Vee,
    Keeping all of you in thought and prayer.
    good to hear from you.

  22. Oh, mercy, how I went thru these same emotions, Vee. It isn't easy ... just the teeniest thing could set me off.

    May her soul rest in peace, may you hold her close to your heart.

    We are in a blizzard literally right now ... YippEE!

    Have a wonderful day ~
    TTFN ~

  23. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers Vee!!
    The flu hit me this week too, and have been down but not out.
    praying you stay well too!!. How right you are about grief coming in waves, but I firmly believe it is God's way of bringing healing to our broken hearts.
    Much love,

  24. I hope you stay healthy and think only good thoughts. Good thoughts are, well, good for you! Friends and pets help too :)

  25. I've found that grieving is a slow process that can not be rushed but little by little happy memories replace the feeling of loss and sadness.

    I hope you stay well! Take zinc.

    We are in the midsts of another snow storm so it will be another round of early morning shoveling for me. Like it or not my upper body is getting a workout this winter..lol!

  26. I've thought of you so much the last few days, Vee. I know how the tears can come at the oddest moments...but, it's ok.
    Warmest hugs and kisses to you ..
    Love, bj

  27. I am up late tonight, and you were on my mind Vee. You have had a season of grief. Although I can almost see you mom and gran up there like two young girls, whole and happy, and running around...I am sad that you have to go through this season.

    I wish you peace and the veil that the Lord's grace affords us when we are in the middle of facing such a great loss.


  28. So good to see your post, Vee. I've been thinking of you a lot lately. Grief is definitely a process and those tears can pop up at the strangest times. I know that anybody who has been through it will understand.
    Stay warm and stay well.

  29. I'm so glad to catch an update from you and I'm thankful to hear that your sister could stay too and trust all will be well soon. Your sweet dog and John and others who surround you can never take your Mom's place, but such God-given blessings as well. The "waves" you mentioned...so true. Every time I have been overcome, the Lord has met me in a new way, so it has been a growing time for me. I know it is strange sounding, but as one author put it, the detachment from earthly people and things makes the attachment to Him and to the eternal, more precious.
    Loving and Praying!

  30. so sorry for your loss!
    lovely blog!

  31. I'm not sure what's worse ... the deep freezing cold or this damp cold that we're now experiencing. When we lived in NYC we rarely had snow ... now they're getting more than we have here in Canada. Strange!!

    Molly sounds so sweet! What a blessing that you and John were able to take her in. Sorry to hear that everyone around you has come down with the flu! Find that echinacea, Vee!!

    May laughter eventually replace your tears ... xoxo

  32. Thinking of you often--sending prayers up for you!
    Hugs, V

  33. I'm praying for you sweet Vee. I lost my father a few years ago to cancer, but still have my mom. I'm going to cherish every moment with her as you did with yours.

  34. Hi dear Vee,

    I see glimmers of your humor in this posting, but yes, tears will come out at inopportune times.

    I loved seeing the Elizabeth Coatsworth quote, but then, you know I love her work. Wish I had the time to write a biography of her accomplishments. Someone should. I got to visit her grave and leave her some wildflowers. Henry has a big gravestone, she had nothing till Gary and Elizabeth bought a fox statue for her spot.

    Sending love,

    Sharon Lovejoy Writes from Sunflower House and a Little Green Island

    P.S. We inherited a 13 year old poodle that someone wanted to put to sleep because he was ugly. Well, beauty is in the eye...we loved him and love is all a dog wants. Good luck.

  35. Oh Vee, I am so very sorry at the loss of not only your Grandmother, but your Mother too!
    May the Lord hold in the palm of his hand as you make your way through this difficult time.

  36. i've heard that grief is like the waves of
    the ocean and just an impossible to
    control. you just let those wave roll
    over and under and bring you to the

    i pray that they won't push you under
    but wash over you like His love.

    i was just remembering how sweetly
    you encouraged me last year by linking
    to my blog. and you do that for so

    guess you're our fairy godmother of


  37. It's been over ten years since my mom passed away...and the waves of sorrow still come on occasion. When grief threatens to overwhelm...may His peace wash over you.

    I hope you manage to stay warm...and healthy!

    Blessings, Judy

  38. I have been thinging of you and praying for all of you. Wishing you a Blessed week-end....m..

  39. Thank you for stopping by my blog and taking the time to leave a comment. I hope that my pictures help brighten your day, each and every time you visit.

    {{{{hugs}}}} for the days of healing ahead.

  40. It was so good to hear the humor in your post again Vee. :)

    I'm so sorry that everyone is sick!! I hope that you haven't come down with it all as well.

    I just thought I'd let you know that I'm thinking of you....


  41. When my MIL passed away we inherited her Cocker Spaniel, Buttons. He was such a sweet dog. We had him for many years but he was on a lot of medication. I don't think we went anywhere for the last two years he was with us because I just couldn't trust anyone to give him his meds!

    I'm sorry everyone is sick! So far, knock on wood, we've made it through the winter with no illness.

    Stay warm and healthy!



  42. Grief hits us hard when we least expect it but it is much better to get it out I believe.

    Like the scrabble 'pray' on your new header Vee.


If comments disappear, please don't fret. A simple "hi" will do. The platform surely needs some maintenance.