Thursday, June 19, 2014

Will You Help Me?

How do you or how did you or how would you request help? Between John and me, we're not worth the powder it'd take to blow us across the street. Talk about heading for old age in a hurry. We need help sometimes.

My kitchen has been bugging me...no, no, not the cabinetry paint...I'm cool with that being on the perpetual back burner...I mean the shifting of a humongous microwave. It's going to require a he-man. So a week ago I began hinting about where the microwave would look better and be more efficient. Right. It has taken me that long to subtly drip, drip, drip that information into his consciousness. Is that what you do? (I have a vague memory of my mother requesting my help in this way, too.)

Today is that day. I have a honey-do list a mile long. At least. It involves furniture shoving, deck cleaning and setting up, and some carpentry skills not to mention an AC unit going in upstairs. 

Perhaps, he'll require a pie...some little something...we'll see how it goes. And, yes, I will share the befores and afters.
 
~~~
~the end of heavy backpacks for this school year~

Today is the grands' last day of school. I will have them all day tomorrow and then Tuesday through next Friday. After that, they will be with their mother for the summer. My son was able to land a good job in his field so my daughter-in-law gave her notice. I am so happy for her and for the boys being with their mom...just as it should be.  I'm going to miss those little guys. It has been a special blessing for me to get to really know them better. They are a hoot; they make me laugh every single day! Sigh. Now whatever will I do with myself...

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38 comments:

  1. You make me smile, Vee :) I believe my mother did the same thing to me when I was a teenager and it took me forever to do something that she kept hinting at.

    Have a wonderful time with your grandchildren! And what a blessing for your son and daughter-in-law. Enjoy the weekend, sweet lady!

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  2. I do drop little hints too. Have a grand time with the grands!

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  3. Well, I live alone and have for over 20 years and even had a little farmette with livestock but I got sick and had to give it up but although I still have 3 chronic diseases I try to stay healthy and active so I don't get "down" physically or mentally. I hauled 6 bags of rock the other day for my landscaping project. I have bruises and I didn't take my 5 mile hike yesterday as I was a little stiff but I did it! Stubborness and a fiercely independent spirit help. I have tools to help me too.....those furniture sliders for big pieces and actually my arms and back are strong as I have always lifted and toted things. I was never good at asking for help. I would think if you have a son nearby that's your answer otherwise you need to start getting in shape because it only gets worse from here! LOL! Seriously though, if you know it's too heavy DO NOT ATTEMPT or you could seriously hurt yourself. Do you have any young neighbors that you could ask or barter with. In my neighborhood I'm 65 but everyone else is older than me and in lots worse shape. There are also organizations for the elderly that often help those who can't afford to hire someone...that's me or I'm too cheap as I have other things I need.
    The hometown I want to go back to actually has an organization that help those who can't afford or physically cannot do the work like maintaining their home etc. It is a volunteer organization and you put your name and your request on a list and they will come and do what's needed for free or maybe you have a skill you could contribute. If all communities did this there would be no one in need. My daughter's church does that for their members too. So far I'm good but another reason I want to move back North before I get to the point where I can't care for myself.
    I also have a cousin and she and her husband are in their 70's and both ill but they manage to put in a big garden every year and they can all kinds of things and give it to family too but each year they have several "get togethers" usually Spring and Fall and the kids and grand kids come and shampoo the carpeting and wash windows and roto-till the garden. My cousin makes a list and they come and do it. Now that's family!
    I hope this helps. None of us are getting any younger and it's a hard pill to swallow to have to ask for help but you've done for others during your life so now it's their turn to help you. You deserve it so don't feel bad. I hope this helps.

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  4. That's wonderful news for your grandchildren - so many children miss out on having a parent at home and like you, I think it's the best way. My DIL returned to work on June 9th, leaving four children with a Nanny. She is heartbroken but owes the military one more year. This time next year she will be at home, and I know that she is counting the days.

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  5. Oh indeed it is a process. I call it "planting seeds"...that subtle mention of change that is brewing. Something like "if I would ever decide to move the microwave..." After a season of such "planting," it might be, "when we decide to move the microwave..." and "it's going to be so much better to have the microwave here and fill-in-the-blank there" and then finally, "When would you like to help me move the microwave?" Ron resists change and would leave everything exactly as it is for always...so I have to ease into any changes that I would like.

    I am so happy that your son has a new and better job! How wonderful for their family! But I have no doubt that you were given this valuable time to plant seeds (of the most important kind) into the hearts of your grands!

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  6. I was the queen of dropping hints when Jim was with me. Now I have to move everything around by myself. LOL
    So wonderful that your daughter in law can quit working! I know that you will miss the grands though.

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  7. Awww..that is wonderful news about your grandchildren..I usually end up starting things myself, however, I usually get a talking too, and usually my husband and son help out. I am use to being independent..thanks for the smiles. Blessings

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  8. If I want help, I say it one time. If that doesn't work, I start doing it myself with lots of colorful Southern language ("Dad blast it", "Consarn it!", etc.) and heaving and hoo-ing. Brings him to the rescue every time! Ain't I a stinka? :) Hope you get all items done on the list and can relax. It's summer! ~:)

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  9. Oh the good old days, when we could get our men to do what ever we wanted...what happened. LOL. Pie should do it. I am happy for your son and his family.I do think kids remember when mom is home. If you have a handsome neighbor, it only takes one time for him to come over and help, then your husband will not want to bother him again.LOL....just kidding. Actually my husband can work rings around a lot of younger fellows. Blessings to all, xoxo,Susie

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  10. I don't have that problem...my hubby is not handy, so if I can't do it, I have to find a qualified handyman. Enjoy your time with your grands; I agree they are the best thing about getting older, XOXO

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  11. I have always found the direct approach works best for me. I slip my arms around the hubs, give him a little kiss and say, "darling, when you have a moment would you do something for me?" ;>)
    yay for the boys and the last day of school! They must be so excited!

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  12. Such precious grandies! And how special that you've been able to have them around a bit more for awhile. As far as the microwave --- good luck with that. I don't have a solution for you, but if you figure one out, let me know and I'll try it here as well. ;)

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  13. But the grands are still going to be living in the same area, right? I'd hate to have them moving off somewhere. And about the honey-do list, I think women my age have learned that men are happiest when you never ask them to do anything. Any amount of hint is considered nagging, so this is a very tricky situation. The goal is that they one day think it their own idea. And then it is brilliant. :-)

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    1. See yesterday... =D

      Right. The grands are just around the corner, across the river, and on the other side of the tracks.

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  14. That's funny that you are a hinter. I do say "We should do this or that" a lot as if WE are going to do it. What I mean is you should do this now! I'll look forward to see the moving and shoving results. I do inform my hubby who wants to do everything on his own around this old house that he can't count on me holding up the other end of stuff like I used to be able to do. I make sure he puts a call in to his son!!
    That's really is wonderful that your daughter in law can stay home with the kids. I'm sure she'll find things she needs to do on her own and drop the grands by while she does those things...
    Have a great day, Vee!

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  15. You might rest a bit! I'm sure they have kept you on your toes. I hope you get your list pared down. Maybe those boys can help. I'm sure if you can get one or two checked off you'll feel like you are making progress! Here's hoping!

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  16. Maybe when your son comes over you can ask him to move something? too bad your grandkids aren't a little bigger; you could ask them to do things for you next week! I have to live with a lot of things being undone; my husband doesn't like change; if I can't do it myself it doesn't get done unless it's his idea. sigh . . . . so nice your DIL can be home with her children!

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  17. I hope you get lots of help....doesn't look like it's going to come from this bunch! haha! And it's wonderful weather to get all of the honey do's done, too. Those boys will be big enough to help soon....they grow up so fast! Hugs!

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    1. PS I could send my circus elephant over to help. hahaha!

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  18. The direct approach seems to work best here, although I talk a lot about things before actually asking him to help me. I think it warms him up to the idea a little. He knows that I change my mind a lot so doesn't feel like he has to spring into action until I ask him. Pie of some sort would be a lovely treat. I made a strawberry tart yesterday that he seemed to enjoy.
    So nice for the grands to be home with their mother this summer. You can have them when it suits you and you feel up to it. Whatever will you do with your time? More sewing? More reading? More blogging?

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  19. What a sweet post! Grands are the best! Hugs and blessings, Cindy

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  20. I think you will think of something - but it will be tough!

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  21. Your grands will be back, they love you, you love them, they will come and visit often. Asking for help? I start doing it myself in front of him (after I've asked a few times or hinted, or whatever), he'll jump up and take over because I could "get hurt, not do it right, mess it up, etc).

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  22. A pie as reward sounds perfect, Vee! With my dear beloved hubby, he so loved praise during and after a project. I'm glad your DIL will be home with the boys! You'll miss them, but I'm sure you'll see them a lot still. xo

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  23. Most of the time, I will just go ahead and do stuff myself, sometimes even at the risk of injuring myself...not too smart, I know...but I am kind of impatient and I will just take a whim to do it...usually when the hubs is at work. He works away from home 5 days and then is off for days, then on for 2 and off for 2...it is usually during the 5 day off periods when I decide to do these things without having him under foot...lol! There of course are a few things I don't try to handle alone :) Now about those grandboys...they just might miss you and Grandpa more than you will miss them! What a blessing for you to have had the opportunity to spend so much time with them!

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  24. I have a problem at my house with a very stubborn man who insists he can do everything himself, but never gets around to it, therefore nothing ever gets done. He just has a real problem with paying others to do something he thinks he can do. He did realize he couldn't do the roofing himself and we hired that done a couple of years ago. But it took having a heart attack the year before for him to cave in. This year he was just sure he could remove the concrete slab that was our front porch instead of paying extra for the foundation contractor to do it. After threatening divorce, he finally caved on that one. Not really, but it was close. :) I'll be so happy when he gets to the point, that didn't take me long to reach, where he realizes that we aren't as young and able as we used to be. He can still do his job well, even climbing poles and such, but he is pretty whipped after hours and on weekends when we used to be able to get a lot done.

    All that said, I wish I had an answer for you. Maybe your son could help with heavy lifting? Our son gladly helps with heavy lifting when he comes home, if we ask him. Or is there someone in your neighborhood or church to ask? Good luck!

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  25. So happy that your son got a dream job and your DIL can stay home with the boys. Such good timing too...in time for summer. I'm smiling at your method of asking for help..hint, hint, hint...and a prize when the job is done! Apparently it's OK to ask guys lots of times...since the request never registers first time around. So I heard. Let us know how the moving if the microwave went!

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  26. Hi Vee, My Hubby is always 2 steps ahead of me, so I am always trying to catch up with him! But I do get impatient if I need it now! Make the pie feed him and ask him can we do it this weekend???
    But I loved the part about the boys Mother being able to come home... Music to my ears!
    You make me laugh
    xo Roxy

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  27. I always think I can do things on my own and when I'm in the middle of it and if Ken is around he always asks if I need help. If I really need help, I just ask him outright. He is good about doing anything for me. I can't believe some of the things I've done on my own though!!!

    You will miss the boys but it was nice you got to have them for a while. I used to watch my two oldest grands for a few hours a day when they were small. It's sad that now they won't even talk to me. : (

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  28. Oh, what wonderful news about the boys, your son's job and their Momma being able to stay home! Big smiles here! You will miss them! But maybe you could have them for fun stuff for half a day once a week?

    My guy is always working on projects around here. I start talking about things I am interested in doing for a while, because he is a one project at a time kind of guy while I could be a general contractor! ha!

    I don't know what we'll do when we start slowing down. We'll have to get our kids to come over and help us!

    Deanna

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  29. Hi Vee! Checking up on you dear blogging friend. I happened to see a post on FB from Barbara on her English country drive and clicked over to her blog and saw your name and clicked on your post...lol...that is just a journey in itself. I seem to only make it to FB these days. I love the fresh look of your blog, and the sweet pic of your picnic with your grandmother and John. Enjoy your summer and have lots of picnics. I think I must take the grands on one soon =)

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  30. I imagine you were baking a pie or something today - smile!!! Hope it all went well. How wonderful that school is out and that those sweet boys will have their mom home all the time now....sure hope they still need to come to Grammies sometimes too.

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  31. So happy you had this time with the grandsons. So happy it worked out for their mom to be home with them and I know you will still enjoy their visits.
    Oh, John and I are not pretty trying to accomplish the simplest things....earlier this week, I got down on the ground to plant and could not get up. He tried to help to no avail. My first thought is always, '"are the neighbors watching???!!!"

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  32. You truly have been given a blessing to have so much time with your little grands. I know you are very happy that your son has the career position he chose and is doing very well. I've always said that the best time in life is when you see the adults your children have become and you're proud of them.

    I'm not so delicate about my requests. Maybe I should be. And John gets a pie or other treat? He's really a lucky man! My guy likes lists. We discovered long ago that he prefers a written list rather than having me tell him one-by-one.

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  33. Vee, I bet if you line up a "mommy's day off" with your DIL you will stay a steady force with your gkids.

    As for asking for help - that's tough. I read your latest post so looks like you are getting there.

    I ALWAYS have a running honey-do list going, my husband is really good with lists............but what I write on it takes finesse sometimes.

    Hugs.

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  34. I know you will miss having the grandboys almost every day, Vee, but I also know that not having them will be freeing for you to do what you want. I face the same dilemma --when my granddaughter is here I lament I can't do much housework or baking,or computer time, etc, as I have to watch her closely, but when I don't have here I miss her! :)

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  35. You will sure miss the children but how blessed you e to have had that opportunity to really get to know them and they you.

    Well my dear Hubby has had a lengthy list made for him many times over the last 55 years. There is a long current one. But getting them to read it and 'take it in ' and not mislay it is another matter!

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