A Haven for Vee

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Talk is Cheap

I have not asked my mother what she thinks of our time together, but I have enjoyed having her here immensely. Not only do I enjoy my own conversations with her, I also enjoy overhearing John's conversations with her. Our time together is drawing to a close and I shall miss her right here in house to sip coffee with and to chat on and on and on and on. (John may think differently; I've not asked.)

We have discussed many, many things because we have had the time. Time itself becomes the opportunity to delve more deeply into a story life. Mother is working through so many things. Perhaps I have become a good sounding board. No, I talk too much myself to be a really good sounding board, but I do ask a lot of good questions. Perhaps Mother is secretly thinking, "Right. Thanks for that, Dr. Vee Freud." She has shared some new things with me, even disturbing things. On the one hand, I am deeply honored by her trust and, on the other hand, it's been tough to hear.

Isn't life that way? When we get down to the nitty-gritty aren't we going to hear some difficult things in order to really know another on a deeper level? It certainly has helped me to understand my mom better and that's a very good thing.

This explains my giving thanks for today... I am truly thankful for thoughtful, deep conversation. How about you?

35 comments:

  1. Ahhh....that brings back memories. Cherish your times with your Mother. My parents are gone now. They used to come spend 2 weeks with us at a time & Mom & I miss those days. Time goes by so quickly...

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  2. As I get older, I find that I value to abiltiy to just sit and talk with the ones I love more and more. I so wish I had been more attentive to the stories that my Grandparents shared with me.

    Rhonda

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  3. Yes...I have wonderful deep conversations with one of my sisters....the other 3 the conversations are light and fluffy for the most part.

    I do miss talking with my Mom....everyday.
    Hugs,
    Penny

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  4. good morning Vee!

    I love your giving thanks posts. Yes I really love deep conversations with people. When they speak of things that are deep within their hearts it's because they want to be known, they want us to know why they are the way they are, they want to know if we have had anything relatively similar in our lives. It's hard to hear some things people have experienced, I've heard some horrors, sadness, pain, disappointments, hurts, etc. etc. etc.! Maybe there's some word we can say, some idea of dealing with it we can give them, or just an ear to listen and really hear them. Oh as you can see I could go on and on...
    I'm so glad you had such a wonderful time with your Mom, Vee! Such precious moments for the both of you. And for John too. I know you cherish each one of them!
    What a treasure you found, the pilgrim girl is very good for 5 yrs old. I see the brown cap that doesn't match the blue dress as a statement that there is importance in the brown crayon in the box and you didn't want to leave it out. It's a grounding color, a color that goes with ALL other colors in the box. The color of your hair and eyes, even though you chose to showcase the colors of your sister's features, you covered her with the protection of Big Sis... or maybe you just liked the brown crayon!! LOL!!
    I'm thankful for your blog to visit and get my brain going!!

    Big hugs, Sherry

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  5. Vee, What a beautiful post, I so related the relationship you have with your mother is just like the one I have with my mother, we are mother-daughter but we are also friends,I so treasure this relationship, And reading here I get that you value this also. We are truly blessed.

    I don't know how I missed your post from yesterday, I guess was to busy celebrating. lol
    I am glad you got to visit your dear Nan, and spend time together. The pilgrim girl should be framed, what a treasure.
    I am enjoying your thankful list.

    Hugs,
    Sue

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  6. I'm so happy that this has been a rewarding visit, at the "Vee & John's Bed & Breakfast." [I say "rewarding," for lack of the perfect word, but hope it conveys my meaning.]

    How long has it been now, since you and John have had your home to yourselves alone? How much time, in your young marriage, has been spent caring for and living with others? I know, you're not counting or complaining. I'm stepping in, to do so, for you.

    And if John is human, he'll be glad to have his wife and his home back. To be snuggled into, by just the two of you. :-)

    I'm grateful that this time is coming, for you. I'll do the-gratitude-thing, and you don't have to.

    But you can tell him, what I said, if you care to. :-))))))))) Betcha' it will bring a smile to his lips......................

    Gentle hugs...

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  7. My mom lives nearby so we talk a lot, but we had quality time together with my sister when we spent a few days at my sister's house last summer. I hated to leave, it was such a precious time for the 3 of us to share. I know you'll miss your mom when she goes home but I'm happy for both of you that you've had these weeks together. You can't beat time with family.

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  8. When we found out my mother had lung cancer five years ago and that her time was limited I told her I was going to miss our conversations the most when she was gone. She told me that I could still talk to her through a journal. After she passed away I kept a journal and talked to her everyday for a year. It helped me so much with my grief.

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  9. It is so nice that you and your mom have gotten this time together.
    My mom and I have never been really close, too much history, but we do get along and she has told me things about her past that have helped me forgive her for the things she has done and said to me. :-)

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  10. I'm so happy for you darling Vee that you have the time to spend with your mother in a way you wouldn't have ordinarily. I miss Mama so much that reading this brought tears to my eyes. I still remember leaving work to go visit with her before going home to wash the days crime and grime from my hands and face, just knowing that I had to spend every second I could because the seconds were fast slipping away. You will look back on these times with your mother and feel nothing but love. I promise
    hugs and blessings
    Sandi

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  11. Treasure those meaningful conversations...and record those things that should be remembered. How nice to have had this opportunity to 'really talk' with your mom.

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  12. Hello dear Vee! Darlin' thank you so much for stopping by Sugar Pie Farmhouse as often as you do! It's always so uplifting to hear from you...one of my sistas! When I see your name I say "Yay! Vee came by!" I really do mean that, you are always so encouraging and comforting just like a sister should be! Hey thanks too for voting for my little Johnny! May the Lord continue to bless your time with your dear mama. You are loved!
    Ruthann

    Sugar Pie Farmhouse

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  13. It is truly a gift to have the time to talk and to find a deeper understanding in a relationship that has lasted so many years. Cherish the time. . I know you do.

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  14. Oh Vee,
    I love how you honor your mom and your nan. You must have had so much fun having your mom for a visit. I talk to my Mom over the telephone a gazillion times a day, because I cherish our time together.

    I agree in order to really know someone, you must share everything. How blessed you are to have your relationship and wise enough to cherish it.
    Karen

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  15. I have found that I really enjoy my conversations with my parents now that I am older. I didn't always enjoy them in my younger years though...what a shame! :)

    Blessings!
    ~Nadine

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  16. Beautiful post, Vee. Yes, talk can be painful, enlightening and sooo cathartic..but we must always have a soft/safe place to fall afterwards. Your home, your husband, your family. This is your safe place. Enjoy, learn, trust, and forgive :-)

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  17. My mother passed away when my son was 2 weeks old, 33 years ago.
    There is so much I would have liked to have known about her that only she could tell. She didn't tell me all that much when I was younger. Or maybe I didn't have sense enough to be interested.

    We're blessed to have a very close relationship with our children. My daughter and I talk about anything and everything and my son is almost as open. My hubby and I are very thankful.

    How wonderful that you've had this time with your precious mother! You will always treasure this.

    Have a wonderful day,
    Cheryl

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  18. It's wonderful your Mom was given a "new lease on life" after being so ill last year, and that she has had the time to bond with you and John in so many ways since, and especially these past few weeks.

    I am the child who has been with my Mom the most. She became a widow very young - at 48 years old-and when I got married soon afterwards my husband and I decided to live near her to be of help to her. I've never regretted it.I'm sure she wouldn't be able to remain as independent as she is now if it weren't for the fact that we live only a few houses away from her and help her all the time.

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  19. I love talking with my mom. We never run out of things to say. Having a mom with whom I have a great relationship is something I'm so thankful for.

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  20. Your post today is so touching, Vee. The time you are spending with your mom is so precious and you are wise to be enjoying every moment of it. I also like how you are enjoying John's conversations with your mom. My husband had a very special relationship with my mom and it touched me deeply whenever I watched them together.
    My mom, sister and I spent so many hours through the years talking into the wee hours of the morning. At the time I thought it would always be that way. Now that my mom is gone and my sister is unable to speak due to aphasia, I cherish those memories more than ever.

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  21. How fortunate you are Vee. I would love to sit down and have a little chat with my mother. I lost my parents when I was in my early 30's. I was not old enough to ask all of the questions I would today. I do miss all of the family stories my parents used to tell. enjoy your time Vee :>)

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  22. I have been talking more to my sister, Jean, over the phone recently. I find out all kinds of things about the family I never knew.

    She was born when mom was around age 19 and I was born when mom was 42! A completely different look at the family.

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  23. I am just glad to still have the opportunity to have long deep chats with my Mum too. She has so much to share, and yes, sometimes I am not thrilled by some topics, but it is a lesson in patience, and humility at times! I remember talking to my grandmothers too, and only wish I had taken more time to listen to them.
    Another thing I love is seeing my memories through her eyes. So different. She remembers one thing and I have a totally different memory. Combine them, and you are roughly in the right place!

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  24. someday you will look back on this time
    with your mom and treasure it even more.

    you asked me at my place, "is this you or
    hans asking these questions?"

    he brought up the subject and then we
    just bat it back and forth. it's hard for
    me to know sometimes where his
    thoughts end and mine begin, and vice
    versa. :)

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  25. Hi Vee!
    Just checking in to see how you and your sweet husband are doing. I loved reading about your chats with your mum. Enjoy every second of them. My mum lives away and I wish I could sit with her often and chat and ask her questions. The phone just doesn't quite cut it...

    Much love to you and yours!
    Linda
    xo

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  26. Nitty gritty conversations drawing people together... Hmmm - sounds like my morning with YOU, dear!

    - Leah

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  27. The gift of time is a wonderful gift. Enjoy and cherish those moments with your mom.

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  28. A friend once noted that really important conversations only occur at the end of evening together with friends. And after reading your post, it occurs to me that the same is true in life: the really important conversations seem to come towards the end of life's time together.

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  29. Precious moments. You will certainly treasure these times.

    Becky K.

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  30. I know you will look back on this time and feel very happy and thankful that you had this time together. Life isn't perfect nor are our parents or us. The fact is your made this time together. I'd love to have more conversation if I could.

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  31. Vee,

    How blessed you are to have a close relationship with your mother and to have open lines of communication even if some of it is hard to hear. Cherish you time together and cherish one another, not all of us have that.

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  32. I remember when my grandmother passed away and my sister-in-law was consoling my mom. She told her we only have one mom and she was so right. I am glad that you treasure the moments with yours.
    I do with mine as well.

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  33. Time with one's mom. ahhh... very special time indeed. I treasure time with my mom, too, cuz I know that I won't always have her. It makes me sad sometimes to think of that. How dear she is to me! I've had a wonderful mom and dad, and each day that I have them is a blessing without measure.

    Glad you got some time with yours, Vee, and hoping for more like it.

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  34. I'm glad you're able to have this time with your mother. The fact that she's able to open up to you says that she trusts you. That's so wonderful. And what an unbelievable scene when you walked back in Nan's room to find her sitting up in bed, eating. Oh my goodness, Nan is full of surprises.

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🕊