A Haven for Vee

Monday, July 26, 2010


Recently, Suzanne (At Home With The Farmer's Wife) suggested that folks could get a postcard from her by just letting her know that one was desired. Cool deal. Mine came a few days ago and gave me the opportunity to send her one in return. John mailed it for me while we were having our day away. Hope that it got that quintessential postmark. I forgot to have him request one. I'm not as rich as Suzanne, but I've got one spare postcard waiting to go somewhere. If you want it, all you have to do is be the first to say so. :D

I should have called this post "Nan's Story" or the "Hospice Story." I'm unwilling to get into details because I don't want to rock the boat as it were. Suffice it to say, M*edicare has very specific guidelines and when an agency is billing M*edicare it must, of course, be careful and above board and follow all directives. Hospice wanted to change some of my grandmother's care and we didn't want it changed. Hence the letting of hospice go. Pretty simple except that it has involved a lot including now paying for the hospital bed and letting the nice little hospital bed table that went with it go. I have just been fighting to keep the mattress. The "bed lady" said, "She doesn't have problems." I said, "Look, Bed Lady, I don't know where you get these ideas because she has every problem in the book. I'll get in touch with her doctor and get it straightened out." If he can't, I'll be finding someone who can! I'm feeling quite irritable and cranky these days.

Nan returned to me weaker than when she left. It's sad to see the ongoing decline. Now I know what my mother means when she says that every time she sees her mother she looks worse than the time before. I used to take that as a comment about my care. It's not. It is what is is...

Okay, back to Suzanne. Honestly, if you need some levity in your life, you must read this blog. Sometimes I howl with laughter. Here's a case in point: Brew for Breakfast. You'll love it!


  1. God bless you.

    I am going to go read. I need to howl with laughter.

    Much love.

  2. I am asking for that post card Vee! I promise to send one in return....

    you can get my email on my sidebar, if I hear from you I will send my address.

  3. I jumped in and responded about the post card, before I read the rest of the post.....

    It is such a shame the Nan and her family (you, John and your Mom) have to fight for what should be just normal decent humanity.....

    I am keeping you all in my heart.

  4. My heart goes out to you while you are dealing with such hard situations. I'm going to follow your link! I could use a smile! ♥

  5. You're right...I've been visiting and she really is a hoot! So funny! Thanks for the link...I needed that! ♥

  6. Oh Vee, imagine me holding your hand right now. We share a lot - this you know. No one could imagine the stress involved with being a caregiver or just a live-er with-er. Get my drift? Thanks so much for the postcards. I'm salivating at the shore dinner. Nothing like that around here unless we'd be willing to mortgage the farm!

    - Suzanne

  7. I am sorry that things are so wacky with the Hospice/Nan situation. I am glad, however, that you have seen that you are not responsible for your Nan's failing health.
    Now, I need a laugh so I am off to click on your link.

    Becky K.

  8. I'm totally into sending postcards these days...from my blog...and the good ole' fashioned kind! I've even sent a few to New Hampshire...that's right next door to your place, right? If I had your address...I'd send you one tomorrow...from Pike's Pike!

    All the best with Nan. Hugs.

  9. I love post cards, Vee, so I'll send you one from NYC.

    I hope you get the medicare situation resolved soon. I know it is a bureaucratic nightmare. My husband had a file of medicare/medicaid papers over a foot high when his Mom was deteriorating with dementia for nine years.

    I'm jealous Judy is going up Pike's Peak tomorrow! One of these years I have to go there and see the sight that inspired Katharine Lee Bates to write the poem/song "America The Beautiful"!

  10. Vee, I am SO SORRY about the decline and then to top it off they make your life more complex and MISERABLE about the rules AND take away the little bedside table. Cruel. Cruel.

    You have to keep up your spirits for yourself and others.

    Courage and onward and upward,



  11. Hi Vee,
    It's so hard to see your Nan decline in her health. I'm sorry that on top of everything else you have to fight for what you need from Hospice.

    Thanks for posting a link to a smile.


  12. "Hospice wanted to change some of my grandmother's care and we didn't want it changed. "

    And of course, therein lies the story.

    If I follow correctly... M*edicare decrees what Hospice can do. As insurance companies decree what medication all of our docs, can prescribe for us. If we want our insurance to help pay for our meds, that is. [Did you know that????]

    At first, I wondered why you wanted to second-guess Hospice.

    It's not Hospice, which is the *BUGGY MAN.* It's M*edicare.

    If I have this wrong, I hope you will correct my misconception. You know how I feel about all forms of medical insurance and government involvement in medicine.

    Our drug store, running under the same name, for 150 years, has been forced to close its door. And reopen under a new name, and only doing compounding. Otherwise, it would have had to close, all together. We understand. And we are not amused, as the Brits say.

  13. You, your Nan, and your family are in my prayers. This is a very difficult thing to go thing and it doesn't sound like they are making it any easier on you.

  14. The resident pharmacist suggests you do your research on all involved parties.

    -Medical equipment rental
    -Private Ins.

    He says your best asset is knowledge. Find out the responsibilities of each of those entities. Then you know how to logically approach "The Monster"!


  15. Sorry about Nan! I can just pray for you all.
    I'm going to check out the blog now.

  16. Oh! Vee my heart goes out to y ou. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Do not take condemnation for how you feel. You are doing great - you are an angel.

  17. I know that when my almost 101 year old grandmother was in hospice, there were some similar issues. She was in hospice, but my parents had moved her to be close to them, and when out of town family would comment on her deterioration and indicate that she perhaps needed something else, it was a burden for my parents. I saw significant deterioration each time I saw my grandmother, but it was not a reflection of the care she received, simply secondary to her age.
    Vee, you have no idea how much I admire you in your care for your Nan. I am sure it is always a hard thing, and that it is often accompanied by feelings of frustration, impatience, etc. Something my husband told me years ago when I considered myself an impatient person was that being patient doesn't mean you feel patient.
    So, I see you as compassionate, patient, an advocate, caregiver, loving and strong. An inspiration.


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