Kathi of Lavender, Lace and Thyme has generously passed on the Arte Y Pico award to four wonderful Bloggers and me. I really loved how Kathi described my blog, especially the part about my love for nostalgia. Thank you, Kathi! (I'll be passing this award along soon.)
It's true, I wax nostalgic a lot. This may be because, even though I am a woman in my 50s, my grandmother is alive and doing well. She binds me strongly to the past I believe.
Which reminds me, yesterday was my afternoon with my grandmother. It's when I do her nails and her hair, play a game of cards, the little things. I noticed that there was a stack of letters sitting on her dresser tied neatly with a string. There was a bold message written across the top letter that said "TO BE DESTROYED." Curious and curiouser I became until I just couldn't help but ask.
Nan told me that they are all the love letters written to her by my grandfather and that they'll be destroyed because they are none of anyone's business. I think my heart nearly fell to the floor. On the one hand, I understand her thinking; on the other hand, I am thinking that all that family history now has a dreaded appointment with the shredder.
What do you think? Would you mind if future family members read your love letters?
Vee, you are such a gifted writer, one of the things I truly love about you is your love of the past,because I love it so much as well. There is a huge smile on my face at your grandmother's comment...none of anyone's business but a sadness because of the history that will be lost. I have a suitcase of my love letters that I will one day read through and select the ones that would be appropriate for anyone to read.
ReplyDeleteA wise person once told me...never put anything on paper you don't want the whole world to read.
Have a wonderful day! :D
It's a part of their history together. I can understand her sentiment but it would be such a loss.....
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone write love letters anymore?
- Suzanne
Congratulations on your award - well deserved!!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that your grandmother is alive and that you see her often!! My grandmother died at 97 so we too had her around a long time.
I would not mind if people read my love letters when I died, but can understand why some people wouldn't.
Honestly if my grandmother asked me to destroy her's, I don't know if I could without reading them first.
I guess it depends on what is actually said in the letters. Maybe she's embarrassed by something or maybe she just wants to keep the intimacy between the two of them.
ReplyDeleteI agree that it's sad to let that beautiful part of your family history disintegrate, but they are her personal property.
Good morning Vee! First congratulations on your award. You're a dear to spend time with your grandmother and old enough to really appreciate her.
ReplyDeleteIt would be very hard for me to destroy those letters. I guess if she let you read them, maybe you could decide which ones to pass on. Some could just be too intimate. But we probably wouldn't be shocked at anything in those letters by all we see and hear now a days! She lived in a gentler time when those letter were written. I love your love for nostalgia too. Come and see me sometimes.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia :)
Oh Vee. I would hate for them to be destroyed. They are your legacy and I'm sure beautiful...maybe she could edit them and save a few for future generations...xxoo, Dawn
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Vee! Well deserved award!
ReplyDeleteI would be sorry to see your grandmother's love letters destroyed, and I like Dawn's idea that maybe your grandmother could censor out the things she'd find embarrassing?
I saved everything my husband and children ever wrote to me, and I would not be upset to have it all re-read, even the romantic things as it would prove I was once young and beautiful and alive :-)
X0X0 Pat
Hmmm, I don't know if I'd want my letters destroyed or not. When we were first married my husband worked a 4-midnight shift so we wrote letters to each other each day. I'd probably ask that they not be saved.
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother always kept a diary and asked that they be destroyed. They weren't. My Uncle has them. That feels like a kind of betrayal to me...even though I'd love to read them myself.
Vee, congratulations on the award - well deserved! I love nostalgia, too, as you know!
ReplyDeleteI would give anything to have the personal effects of my dear sweet grandmother. I respect her privacy, however, and would only hope that she'd be willing to pass along to me that legacy. Sometimes one finds these things after the loved one is gone, but your grandmother still has the choice about what she does about it. Guess it's in her hands. Maybe you could ask her for those that were not too intimate?
I still have letters that my hubby wrote to me long ago. I destroyed all letters and cards that came from other fellows tho! Vickie
They are such a personal thing, but I think after I have passed on, I would love my family to have them...
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Penny
p.s. congrats on your award!!
ReplyDeleteOh they are part of family history and should be saved. I still have my letters that Jos and I wrote back and forth with no family to give them to. I think it is so romantic and one answer could be you keep them but promise not to read them now so they can be passed down to other generations. It is a testimony of the family's beginnings. All that being said, I could understand your grandmother not wanting them to be kept.
ReplyDeleteIt is so wonderful that you still have your grandmother. Mine was magical and I so miss her.
Congratulations on your award!
Hugs ~
Heidi
My opinion, no such family letters should be destroyed. What if the amazing treasure trove of letters from the past, which humanity _does_ have access to, had all been destroyed? Unbelievably sad to contemplate.
ReplyDeleteIf there is something in them, which she truly doesn't want anyone to read/see, let her do with those individual ones, what she wishes. But ... for just saying.... Destroy all... -sigh-
I still have some of my Mother's letters, ones written to her. And I'm sure my Daughter will want to keep them also.
You asked, I said. Good luck.
Mari-Nanci
'Smilnsigh'
Hi Vee,
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your award. I love to visit your blog and you certainly deserve it.
My mother destroyed all her letters from my dad. She wanted them to be in her heart and not laying around where they could be read. I can understand that but would have loved to have seen them. They were married for 65 years.
have a blessed 4th,
Barb
Congratulations on your award!
ReplyDeleteHappy early Fourth!
Have a blessed and wonderful day!
smiles, kari & kijsa
Vee,
ReplyDeleteI suggest that while Nana is napping you sneak in a steal that stack of letters, spirit them away. I could not bear to let something like that be destroyed. Beg her, plead with her to keep them. I have all the letters my husband wrote to me while he was in the military. I have them in our lock box and while I don't really want them read while I am alive, I hope my children will cherish them after I'm gone.
Hannah day went well until my son arrived to pick up his little man, then the worst hissy fit in the history of the universe ensued. Evidently he was not ready to go home. We had a great time, as always.
I hope you have a happy 4th!
Vee,
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your award. You are a wonderful writer.
Being the kind of person I am, I'd probably try to work my grandmother to let me be the keeper of the letters, perhaps assuring her that I would keep them for a 'grand opening' at some special date in the future. I'm sure she is aware of your love of family history, so it would be a perfectly natural request.
Good luck!
Congrats on your award. You deserve it! I love your writing and what a fascinating subject today. That is great that you still have your grandma. Maybe she just feels they are too private for someone else to see. I would be curious, but if she said destroy I think that's what should be done. To her they must not be something she wants shared.
ReplyDeleteTrish
Awwww that is so sweet to spend time with your dear grandmother.... I would be like you....dying to read them..... but not wanting to intrude....
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your award...
HUgs
Linda
This is so touching....how nice that you are able to spend time with your grandmother and do such nice little things for her.
ReplyDeleteI am with Mari-Nanci (smilnsigh) on the subject of destroying love letters. Or any letter, when it comes down to it. I think I've saved every single card, letter and post card anyone has given me since about age 12. Boxes full! Will my family's future generations even want to read them? Who knows. Perhaps you might want to let your grandmother know, gently, that one or two of the more 'innocent' letters would be something you would cherish.
Sometimes, just looking at a loved one's handwriting can be a comfort.
Interesting post.
I am with you on the letters. Too much history to destroy the. I keep all the notes, letters and cards my husband has sent me under my mattress and I feel as though I am sleeping on all of that love....Have a Great 4th my friend...Mary
ReplyDeleteGeneral consensus is... SAVE THE LETTERS!! We have my grandmother and grandfather's letters to one another pre-marriage and they are quite a treasure. I can't imaging letting all that history get to the shredder. Cooler heads must intervene!!! Seriously, I'd try to talk her into not doing that... after all, she'll be gone so why should she care. Lovely post and terrific photo... could have been in Victoria magazine!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Christi
I don't know. On one had everything that was written to her was for her eyes only. It was written by a man to the woman he loved. They are personal.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand it would be wonderful to be able to pass them down through the years. To share that love with others.
My thoughts are why didn't she just destroy them. Why write on them to destroy them? Maybe she doesn't really want to do that. Maybe she just wants someone to destroy them when she is gone.
I would ask her to please let you have them after she is gone. Let her know you will treasure the fact knowing that she was the one who received your grandfathers love and was the keeper of his heart.
Good luck.
Hugs,
Joanne
Awww, these wonderful comments warmed my heart...I'll be sharing them with Nan and hoping that a cooler head does prevail.
ReplyDeleteAh, mine are tucked away in my cedar chest, to be enjoyed by all after my beloved and I are gone.
ReplyDeleteI have all my mothers diares, that will be enjoyed by all some day by future generations.
She burned her love letters . . . when the boys got into the attic and started to enjoy the notes back and forth. I never got to read them since I was the youngest.
Hi Vee...I am hoping that my kids save and read mine someday...I think it's important for my kids to know what kind of foundation we had....I have all of mine since the very beginning....not with the intent of rereading them someday but with the intent of passing them on.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't mind one bit and have saved them. I save all the cards and letters. This was a beautiful post and I enjoyed reading it very much.
ReplyDelete