Linda invited me to join her in a discussion that she's having this week at Restyled Home about imperfection, specifically The Quest for Imperfection.
Several years ago now, I was absolutely addicted to an afternoon television program called Starting Over. Some of you may remember the premise...a house full of women in crisis came together and two life coaches helped them to "think differently." Or as a friend says, "Don't be bitter, be better."
The women had to do a number of "life exercises" that provided them a picture of how to move forward. One of the women was a perfectionist and her assignment was to find the beauty in imperfection. I believe that Iyanla Vanzant was her coach.
That exercise changed me. It really did. I was hopelessly stuck in perfectionism. Nothing limits us so much as working hard to become something we can never be.
I thought of that exercise as I was out taking pictures this morning. We see "imperfection" in nature all the time. Imperfection gets woven into the fabric of the scene and creates the dimension, contrast, texture, and interest. It's the same with our own person and with our homes.
This branch died suddenly this summer. (Can death be beautiful? Hmmm, thoughts for another day.)
A part of my neighbor's tree fell during a storm while we were in Vermont revealing just how badly damaged it has been. Beautiful and dangerous!
In my own home, I have plenty of examples...
That's not a wide-planked pine floor...that's subflooring.
And that's the gap between the molding and the cabinets that my contractor left. Good thing I married him! (Now he's telling me that this is not a good thing because the carpenter's wife always gets her work done last, which is why there are no new stairs at the carpenter's house. Well I never!)
As for actually desiring imperfection in my home...oh yes! Anyone who loves old furniture, old dishes, and an assortment of vintage things loves the imperfect. I love old mirrors with splotches and wood with cracks and age showing.
Now if we could only learn to love our own imperfections the same way, but here's a little product that I just purchased and love. I found it at Kohl's. Kinda pricey, but oh boy howdy does it ever work! (For at least an hour or two. ;>)
Create a fantastic Wednesday! (Echoes of Starting Over.)
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen
ETA: Sometimes we get our lessons in a big way! This morning, Blogger isn't showing any of my pictures or even my header. Ackkkk! Okay, I'll work on this later. The carpenter wants his breakfast.
Vee,
ReplyDeletePoint well taken. Did you plan that your pictures won't show up for an imperfect example or is it just blogger being bad?
I've been out already creating my fantastic Wednesday! A long walk in the cool of the day through the woods. Listening to the birds sing and watching the sunrise and filter through the trees. Visiting my favorite blogs, so far so good!
Nope, no plan on my part, Miss Sandy. Blogger is being a pain, but it does fit the day nicely, doesn't it? :D
ReplyDeletehttp://status.blogger.com/
ReplyDelete-hehhhhhh- You too hu? Hit by the Blogger Boooo-booo of not attaching pics! But your Header does show now! Wonder if mine does.
ReplyDeleteWell, even without reading here, I 'made lemonade from lemons.' I couldn't post my pics, so I whined about it, by "playing in my color box." ,-)
Ahh yes, I am so happy to have totally given up the quest for perfection! About the year 2000. When I made soooooooooooo many changes in my ... life. :-) Oh glorious 2000!
Not that I ever thought I could be perfect, or even deluded myself enough to totally strive for it. But the "You-Ought-To" was on my shoulder, alive and well and harping at me. -sigh-
But in the glorious year of 2000, I even kicked "You-Ought-To's" out. :-))))))))))
Miss Mari-Nanci
Smilnsigh
Photos-City-Mine
My favorite imperfection is bubbles and waves in old glass. My own imperfections are many, both inside and out. Some I accept; others, like grey hairs, I try to hide.
ReplyDeleteI like imperfections in old things too. It gives them character. I guess you can say the same thing about imperfections in people.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your post today and I was thinking of trying the product from Kohls myself, I saw in it Sunday's sale add and had wondered about it. Thank you for the recommendation.
ReplyDeleteLovely thoughts... permission for imperfection. Now that's something I can get a handle on!
ReplyDelete:-) Christi
I love it! I'm with Harriet :). Your home is so beautiful Vee.
ReplyDeleteCarpenter...there was another great man who was a carpenter :).
Have a "Wonderful Wednesday"
Imperfection and I are well acquainted, Vee. I hope the carpenter is not starving!
ReplyDeleteGood post. I too struggle with perfection. Sometimes I just have to step back and say "It's good enough". I'm trying to do that more lately. But it's true that sometimes imperfection is what makes something unique. And I love unique. By the way, I love your subfloor. It looks like an old farmhouse floor.
ReplyDeleteJenny
Oh Vee, what a wonderful post!!! I've found that to be so very true in my life as well. With five sons I've often told my husband when we buy something new, furniture or otherwise, I tell him we should go ahead and scratch it real good or give it a big ol' ding just so we can go ahead and get it over with, cuz it's gonna happen!! Same for things that we collect. We have a lot of McCoy pottery, full of chips and hairline cracks mostly because it's what we can afford...I've often called our home "the home of the misfit antiques"...someone has to love them!!! You're right, we should look at ourselves and others the same way as our Lord does, loving in spite of...give that carpenter a big ol' hug for me! xxoo, Dawn
ReplyDeleteSo True! Accepting imperfection is a very empowering lesson, Vee! Perfection can be paralyzing in many aspects of life.
ReplyDeleteOne exception --- a thing I always use to tell my husband though when he was stressed by his work was "well if you don't get that business quote out no one will die, but If I don't get my patient's medicine to him in time or do the right procedure, he might!" Some professions have a high rate of burn out because perfection is both required and demanded.
I love your sleeping g carpenter photo on your sidebar! What a sweet heart!
Imperfection is my best thing! : )
ReplyDeleteI have finally grown into my imperfection after years of trying to grow OUT of it! This makes life much more serene, and after all, serenity is now my goal instead of the perfection of days gone by.
Great post Vee!
Hugs..
Jan
Just another imperfect blogland friend stopping by! Enjoyed your post. I find I am becoming less of a perfectionist as I age. (Oh and my Masters is in Adult Ed. I am feeling really too old to be finishing this but is a job requirement. I would rather be sewing...even cleaning than working on this paper! Thanks for asking!)
ReplyDeleteSue
Ok..I was really into your post for today and when my eyes got to a certain point I caught a glimpse of your new Hubby in your side bar...so my eyes moved over and I ROFL when I read the caption!!! LOLLOLLOLOL!
ReplyDeleteOk...back to the post...God made me the way I am...NOT perfect..I am a perfectionist though....I have been through different Seasons in my life where now I know to just accept myself the way I am and cut myself some slack!
HUGS,
Robin
Yeah, well, Robin, I've already heard about this once today from the man himself. :D
ReplyDeleteI find the most frustrating part of living with the imperfections is the way others react to them. Co-workers and family are quick to expect more perfection from me and I am trying to get to a point that I just want the Lord to handle my flaws and I don't want to think that everything has to be perfect. It's others that try to demand more of me than I feel is acceptable. Really interesting post!
ReplyDeleteVee,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your sweet words of encouragement. I'll be visiting and you will hardly know I am gone!
Blessings,
Miss Sandy
You know, I have heard that Amish quilters intentionally make an imperfect area n their quilts because nothing should be perfect except God..I think it sounds right!
ReplyDeleteI tagged you for a meme on my new blog..
http://www.simplyhomeremedies.com/5-things-i-love-meme/
Good post today Vee... I like your new header too!
ReplyDeleteI remember years ago being told by a Pastor's wife that my striving for perfection would kill me eventually.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she was right but I found in the end that all change is a work of God and it was not until I opened up my heart to Him doing it that it fell from me.
Hi - found your blog by way of Linda at Restyled Home. I so enjoyed today's post and I can't wait to go back and check out all of your previous postings. I have always been a lover of the "imperfect" when it comes to decorating my home but your blog today was just the reminder I needed that it's OK that we have our flaws too. Thank you for that.
ReplyDelete