A Haven for Vee

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Pesky Problems

In case you're curious, the last post with the surprised cat was about my troubles with Blogger and a post just prior. I wish that posts could be retrieved quickly when one has obviously made an error. You know, before too many people become aware that said error has been made. Gee, I don't even know how I made the mistake in the first place. All I know is that I hit the enter key twice and my post in progress was sailing down the slip and heading for the open sea...swwooossshhhh. In order to show an actual post instead of a now deleted post, up went the apology and the cat. It had the added benefit of attracting more visitors. Now I'm apologizing for that cheap ruse; I feel so sordid.

The deleted post would have been terribly depressing, like this one won't be. ;> It was all about stuff and why I am storing so much of it when it isn't mine. I'm weary of it...very. Little annoying things are robbing me of joy. There's not much that can be done about it in this moment when both my mother and my sister are selling their homes. That's right.

My sister and her husband are moving out of state in the next few weeks. Actually, he is leaving before the week is out. It appears that my mother will go with them, at least for now. This is not a little thing robbing me of joy. It's a big thing. You see, my grandmother is not improving with her new medication. If anything, she is getting worse despite initial improvements. She grows more quarrelsome, harder to care for, and her body is failing her. Also, I can't believe that I am being left alone in this corner with the other parent. Good heavens! Bottom line: I'm scared to death that they'll be gone and I'll have to make decisions on my own. Fear. The bane of my existence. Anyway, all this explains why I chose Sunday's scripture. It's all about the "Lo, I am with you always..."

So how does one keep on doing those things that must be done? My sister continues to live an activity-filled life in spite of all that swirls about her. That's not wrong. That's very healthful behavior. I'm going to follow her example and give it a try myself...someday. In the meantime, I'll just practice my lean. Hope that you're practicing yours, too.


  1. Good Morning my Sweet Friend

    Just popping in before I head off to work this morning.I'm glad that I did, it seems your feeling a little blue.

    Sending good thoughts your way.


  2. Oh my...How similar are the tones of our posts today. Your worries are greater than mine but the need we both have is the same.

    To Trust and Praise the ONE who knows us so well.


    Becky K.

  3. You will be in my thoughts and prayers today.

  4. You have your hands full. I wish you could make a escape out the door and come visit with me for a while. I wouldn't ask you to do a thing. Oh, except to help me arrange all our nicky-nacks. You could do that while sitting in a chair, sipping tea. No worries, just a little fun.

    Your situation is a loss of control. It's unfair. It's maddening. Please keep holding on to your faith that there will be better times ahead. {{{hugs}}}

  5. "Lo, I am with you always...", brings a tear to my eye! This is inscribed on my parents grave stone! Hope your troubles are eased today! And Thank You for the beautiful music!

  6. First, yes be very ashamed for catching us in a ruse. -grinnnn-

    Second, congratulations on a quick save! You're gooooood, Hon. :-)

    Third, -sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh- The fun just keeps comin' down the pike for you, hu?

    Fourth, [please know I am trying to control myself here... BE Calm, Auntie A. Be Calm!] Now... You are storing the things of others, and it's making you unhappy. Why are you doing so? Please don't repeat the "can't not because mom and sis are selling homes." Please don't. Did they ever hear of rental storage units???

    There, I stayed quite calm and I am *proud* of myself. But my calmness is running out and you know how I get, when that happens. :-(

    So Fifth will simply be a reminder that all people will continue to take advantage of you, until and unless you put a stop to it, yourself. Yes, even family. Actually, family does it the most.

    Gentle hugs...

  7. Donna hit the nail on the head. Loss of control in your life! Yes!

    And who is the only, only, only one, who can put her foot down and regain control of her own life? Hmmmmm...

    I know that everyone here but me, falls back on Heaven or whatever. So someone, tell me where is it 'written' that you must continually be the "Good Daughter"? The I-Will-Always-Put-My-Life-On-Hold-For-Everyone-Else person in the family?


    I'll go away now. And send some good wishes your way. Pump strength and such, across the miles, over to you. It's not that far. All the Universe is connected. :-) Hugssssssss, Hon.

  8. Oh dear Vee, I do wish I knew what to say to brighten up your spirits today. I have never been in your position which makes me at a loss for words (amazingly enough). I can send you well wishes and let you know that I am praying for you. Hopefully your week will get a little better and you can find some peace with all that is going on in your life.

    Hugs, Jennifer

  9. You have so much on your plate Vee, I'm so glad you can share tidbits with us to keep you balanced in giving and receiving support.
    You are such a dear girl to care for your nanna like you do. I pray you are blessed today.

  10. Hi Vee,
    Big, biggest Hug! I hope it makes you feel a little better...
    I know life is not fair sometimes is it!

  11. What can I say? It sounds like you are being left...'holding the bag'. May God give you the strength you need...one day at time. What does the Lord require of you? 'But to do justly...To love mercy...And to walk humbly with your God.' Micah 6:8 You are on the right path, Vee! My prayers go with you.

    Wish I could take you out for lunch...today!

  12. Ah, Vee....you and I are very alike. And saying "no" is probably the hardest thing in the world to do. I am appalling at it. Guess where I am off to tomorrow? To collect mother. Here we go again. Hugs from middle England.

  13. My thoughts are with you, Vee. Your post brought back memories of when my mom came to NC. She was in much worse condition than I realized and the move only made it even worse. With brother and sister in other states, I felt the fear you speak of many times. Looking back I sometimes wonder how I survived some of it, but mostly I feel honored to have been with her in her final year.
    I wish there was something I could do to help you. If nothing else, I sincerely hope that you receive some comfort from the support of the blog community. It was a help to me. Take care.


  14. Today would have been my dad's 93rd birthday. He died at age 43 so I can only wonder how I would have taken care of him if he had lived until today.

    When my husband and I moved my mother into our home the morning of April 15, she died that evening, saving me from months, maybe years, of taking care of her. I have to think that God knew what he was doing when he took her - knowing me, I would not have been as kind and caring as you seem to be, Vee.

    "The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace."

  15. Well it is either parents or children who break your back and your spirit. 34 year old daughter may have to go to homeless shelter. Tough love ain't easy. Blessings to you.

  16. It sounds like things could be better than they are right now Vee...I wish there was something I could do to make it all better....Sending hugs your way.

  17. Hello dear Vee, thinking of you and sending positive thoughts too. Life can be such a challenge sometimes. I was SO sad to leave my mother this time. I have been doing this travelling home and leaving thing for 20 years now and it gets harder every time. Families are painful things, but they are the softest most loving thing we will ever know.

    Hang in there.

    Yes, in that antique shop I was practically giddy but stayed VERY calm. David started to say "wow, those are really....(nice)" but I shushed him in time before the shopkeeper noticed we were gushing.

    : )

    In my thoughts you are....
    xo Terri

  18. Oh no Vee! I'm sorry to hear the news that both your sister and mother are moving out of state! Will they be very far or still within driving distance? It is rough to be left alone to make all the decisions...I know that very well as I am the only child of four that takes care of my Mom. It gets frustrating to know all the problems and then have my siblings tell me that "she sounds good on the phone." Sigh. A friend gave me good advice to just pretend I am an only child and deal with humor, love and prayer as best I can.

    I love your new blog header! Your grands are getting so big!


  19. thanks for visiting my blog Vee and taking the time to comment :) I'm glad you enjoyed my herb garden, after I posted I realized I hade forgtten to show my oregano which has just about taken over. I do love using the fresh herbs and I even dry them for use all winter long. Happy Gardening!

  20. Lovely new Header! Silly me forgot to mention this. :-(

    And I love to mention new Headers, to their bloggers. I think we all like to know that someone notices such. :-)

  21. Sending you a hug Vee. I'm glad you have John for suport and the Lord for strength for peace of mind.

    Your in a difficult situation and even though I'm not walking in your shoes, I certainly can feel your frustration and hear your heart crying out for help.

    I will trust with you that God will make a way....

  22. oh, poor sweet friend. i am so sorry about
    the loneliness associated with caring for
    your sweet mom and grandmom.

    the Lord will give you wisdom, strength,
    and grace. and we will be praying for that
    to increase.


  23. Uh huh. And the fear of having to do everything all by yourself and maybe possibly believing or being afraid you might make a decision that the rest of the family won't like?

    When my mom and grandma were sick at the same time, they both had such a difficult time dealing with it. Mom thought she needed to take care of her mom, but she wasn't able to. Grandma thought she should still be young and strong enough to take care of her daughter.

    Prayers for you and your family.

  24. God bless you, sweet Vee, you do have your hands (and apparently house, too) quite full these days. I am about to be entertaining my mother- and father-in-law for a couple of months very soon, as they just sold their house and are moving to an apartment. Too tired to do upkeep on their beautiful home. We are all in some form of denial... but may as well not be. At least there will be a light at the end of our tunnel. I am just not ready to live with extended family indefinitely. My children aren't even grown and gone, yet. But, if that's what the Lord plans for me before they are, I know He'll provide even as He is doing for you. You're a blessing.


  25. I can relate to feeling a little overwhelmed by circumstances that are out of one's control. My sister calls me several times a week to report on how my mother is driving her crazy--calling 8 to 12 times a day. My mom suffers from Altzheimer's. I call, but she can't remember it--and I feel helpless living two states away. I could go on and on, but you get the idea!
    I hope you are getting some help from outside sources such as Home Health or something so you have some respite care. Yes, it's times such as these when we are forced to depend on the Lord for we just can't fix it!


If comments disappear, please don't fret. A simple "hi" will do. The platform surely needs some maintenance.