Actually, it's a case of having way too much to think about so I'm finding myself slowing down, numbing out, not wanting to ponder things I can not possibly do anything about. Life and death stuff. It's so much bigger than I am capable of thinking on any more.
The weather...shall we discuss it? No, we shall not.
The shadows that the rosemary made upon its own pot? Yes, we shall.
The shadows the flowers make upon the sunny deck? Yup. Who's that bubblehead there?
The shadows in a pot of hot peanut butter fudge? Oh let's do! I may even have to include the recipe...
The reason for the peanut butter fudge? Okay. She's failing to thrive, but she still loves fudge. Make a batch of *fudge.* Sometimes it's just the thing!
Edited to Add: All this was written and waiting for a few final touches like the fudge recipe. I had to do a major postdate just as I was leaving the house to follow the ambulance into the hospital. The post wasn't one hundred per cent right, don'tcha know. Nan took a big tumble, falling backwards and landing on her tailbone as is her usual way of falling. Thankfully, after a morning and afternoon waiting in the ER, she was given a "clean bill of health." Yeah, right. The doctor asked if I had any other questions or concerns and I said, "I've got so many questions and concerns that you can't begin to address starting with how I'll get this woman in my car and taken home. The last time, my husband had to carry her in." Nice doctor. She ordered an ambulance ride home, too. So here Nan sits watching me type eating her lunch at suppertime.
All in a day's work...
Prayers and a hug for you and Gran.
ReplyDeleteOh, Vee. Know that I am thinking of you, John and Nan every day. I shall be praying for all of you.
ReplyDeleteOh Vee,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about your sweet Nana taking a tumble, thankfully she is OK. Hang in the on a winged prayers dear friend.
I am sorry. No rest for the weary, is there?
ReplyDeleteNan appears to love that kitty of hers. A very sweet photo.
Fudge...peanut butter....Oh, that does sound good!
Becky K.
I am reading a lot between lines here Vee. Huge hug from the alps from me.
ReplyDeleteYou really have a lot on your plate-I truly admire your kind and loving heart. Your Nan must be feeling quite low but thank God she seems OK. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and best wishes,
Natasha.
Vee, you make me feel like a big old whiney brat. I complain over the silliest things.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry than Nan fell...and that she had to go to the hospital. I am hugging you from a far distance to send some extra love. Because, I know that you are focusing all of the love you have on Nan right now. I hope my little bit of love heading your way helps you in some moment when you wonder how you are going to take the next step.
(((((((HUGS))))))
Penny
Poor Nan...she's so blessed to have you, Vee! I'm keeping her in my prayers. The fudge was a wonderful idea! Hugs to you! ♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad Nan is OK and was able to enjoy her fudge when she came home and I hope you did too, Vee. She looks good in her photo. I can't imagine being 100 + years old ...that is not failure to thrive, even if she is getting frailer with time..that is a miracle.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs and prayers for all of you!
Awww hon....your plate is full sweet friend ~ but I have to tell you that your wonderful sense of humor always, ALWAYS....makes me smile!!!! I feel like we all have a time in our lives as caregivers and you are in the midst of your time now ~ thank you for taking the time to share it with us dear friend.....and I LOVE the shadows and that you are finding such goodness in all that is around you, and that lil' bubblehead is such a sweetie!!!!! sending you hugs and love, Dawn
ReplyDeleteVee. .my heart goes out for you ..This is not an easy task for you and John. .I felt myself sigh. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you all.
ReplyDeleteOh my! I'm sorry to hear about Nan's fall. You are a great caregiver - and the peanut butter fudge is just a little sample of that.
ReplyDeleteblessings to you all,
Lorrie
Am praying for you, Vee..... I'm sorry to hear that Nan took a fall but the blessing in that is she was not seriously injured. I'm glad to see that you are taking pleasure in enjoying little things here and there.....blessings for a better day today.
ReplyDelete--Liane
Hope she is feeling better. That peanut butter fudge will probably do the job. My father is 100 so I know. I just know.
ReplyDeleteHow stressful for you! What a sweet picture of your nan petting the kitty. My thoughts are with you on your journey with nan!
ReplyDeleteYou just had to bring Fudge into it, didn't you!!
ReplyDeleteLOL~ funny! I made some fudge the other day as well. Chocolate though. Since we loooooove fudge, I will for sure be giving your recipe a try.
I'm so sorry about your Grandmother! I cannot even begin to imagine looking after a 100 year old woman. My Mum is 77 and just taking her shopping sets my teeth on edge. God Bless you and her! She is VERY lucky to have you as a Granddaughter. :)
((Hugs))
Laura
Vee, I'm impressed that in the midst of the demands of caring for Nan you're able to see the beauty in shadows. I wish I were wise enough to look for God's beauty in the shadows I walk through in this life. That picture of Nan is lovely. How wonderful that you're doing your best to surround her with sunshine, comfort, and love in the twilight of her life. Praying that God will give you the strength and patience you need, and also some breaks to recharge your batteries.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog.
ReplyDeleteI think we share something in common ...
caring for a loved one.
My 49 year old stallion husband had a brain hemorrhage 2 years ago.
http://bonniesolid.wordpress.com/
When first reading your message, I thought now Vee will have me looking at shadows the way you had me looking at clouds and noticing how grand they can be. Reading on, I was hoping you'd post the fudge recipe - thank you! And then, I read about your grandmother's fall and how your whole day changed. Vee, I loved my maternal grandmother so deeply. She passed away at the age of 62 - I'm almost there. I was 19 when she went home to be with our Heavenly Father. I would hope that I would have done for her as you are doing for your grandmother. Your love and patience during this time in her life and yours touches my heart.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that Nan fell but glad she's back home again!
ReplyDeleteI think the first shadow looks like a wasp!
Enjoy your fudge.
So sorry Nan fell...and wishing you all much strength and wisdom as you deal with her condition on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteVee,
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry to hear about Nan's fall and subsequent trip to the ER. I can somewhat understand your shock at the doctor's clean bill of health. It took me right back to the day I was in the ER with my mom after her first stroke. Her symptoms included some stomach problems coupled with extreme disorientation. After several hours of tests the dr. also issued the "clean bill of health". I was so shocked I could hardly speak. When the nurse came in I explained that there was something very wrong with my mom beyond the normal dementia problems. I practically begged her to talk to the dr. Luckily she was sympathetic and told me that her grandmother had had Alzheimer's and she knew what a hard thing it was. Next thing I knew they did some further testing, discovered an intercranial bleed and admitted her to the intensive care unit.
I only share this with you because I remember like it was yesterday how stressful it was.
I keep you, John and Nan in my prayers.
Bless your heart!!! Prayers for you and your nan. I went through this with my grandmother. She decided one day she would love to have some watermelon rind preserves like her mother used to make. At that point we could hardly get her to eat anything. I looked everywhere for them and couldn't find any. What to do? I made them my self with an old recipe. Took them to her with homemade biscuits and she ate 3 at one sitting! Hope Nan likes her fudge!
ReplyDeleteOh Vee,, I read your words and when I san your Nan I welled up inside. It brought me to tears to see her and know how her health is failing. You are so lovely to cherish her and make her fudge. I love you Vee.
ReplyDeleteKaren