Well Blogger is not allowing me to upload my photo or it may be my computer; whichever it is, they are the least of my concerns.
Thank you so much for all your prayers. If you prayed that I would grow a spine, you'll be happy to know that I did. With steely-eyed resolve, I stared that doctor down and told him that I would not be taking my grandmother home until it was safe. Period.
He said, "This is a hospital, not a nursing home."
He said, "For some families it is all about their loved ones. They have to have them home with them." (This one particularly galled me. He has no idea what this family has gone through to keep Nan with us through some of the darkest possible days and for years. It was only extreme restraint that prevented me from jumping down his throat.)
He said, "There's only so much that I am allowed to do here."
He said, "She needs more pain medication."
I am still fuming about what he said. Guess that this is what medical care in the good old USA has come to. It was NOT this way just one year ago, believe me. Do I think it is a disgrace? You bet I do. Thus begins my letter-writing campaign.
Again, thank you for your comments. They were supportive and helpful after a very long day...seven hours in ER this time. We were not home until after 11 last night. Oh, the primary care physician? He told me to be adamant, but he would not give the orders for her to be admitted either. Yes, it's a fright show, folks. I can't help but think that the medical community is shooting itself in the foot to even comply with these new guidelines.
I don't think we've even seen what this adminstration is going to do to health care yet. Of course I wouldn't want to name names.
ReplyDelete$!@#%&#
I am so sorry to hear that your Nan took a tumble. Bless her heart! You can thank government health care for the shoddy treatment of our seniors these days. It's this lack of quality that we can all look forward to if Obamacare is not repealed.
ReplyDeleteOh my! It takes a full time advocate when someone is in the hospital these days...and even then!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing all you can do!!!!
Until someone has been in your shoes I don't think we can truly understand how you feel. But, you are such a dear to share enough that we know how to pray.
I wish I could come and give them a piece of my mind. Sometimes fractures are elusive in the elderly. They should have kept her to really be sure she is o.k.
Becky K.
Dang. First a fall and then no help. What have we come to? I sound like my grandmother. I am so sorry. If growing old wasn't hard enough, now we make them feel worthless.
ReplyDeleteNot you, I mean. Its the doctors.
oh I do understand :( Dan's mom was in and out of the hospital six times in 9 months. It was a complete nightmare. We found out through Dan's last surgery that a small county hospital has more funding, twice as much from the government on medicare and the difference was remarkable compared to the big city one. It was a Bush regulation to save the smaller hospitals, so he doubled the medicare funding to them.
ReplyDeleteCheck it out in your area, They pick one per county.
I am so sorry and you will all be in our prayers.
oh, i'm so sorry to hear about nan's
ReplyDeletefall and the fall of our medical
community.
you are a saint, and do not deserve
the condescending diatribe from
that doctor.
may His grace increase even as
your devotion has.
Vee,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your frustration to get the best care possible for your sweet Nana. I pray things will indeed get better in the very near future.
I was out of town yesterday and am catching up on posts this morning. So sorry that Nan is still hurting, and that you have to deal with medical staff that is unsympathetic and unhelpful.
ReplyDeletePraying for you this minute.
Lorrie
Our thoughts and hugs winging there way to you and Nan...........
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are all going through this. I pray all things work out for all.
ReplyDeleteVee...this is going to sound a bit strange, but would you consider having Hospice take over Nan's care? Most people think you can only be in Hospice programs if you are on death's doorstep. Actually, they are the group to turn to for appropriate pain management and a strong quality of life point of view for care. Since the doctor says she needs to be home, have him release her to hospice care which will permit pain mangement, and you can always opt back out of Hospice later if you want to. Hospice also still allows treatment for any other medical situation that pops up, like infections, pneumonia etc.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, my daughter is a Hospice nurse and so often has had families say they wish they had gotten Hospice involved in their loved ones care months before they did. Plus they help the whole family out.
Praying for all of you and for God to carefully guide you.
As a nurse I can vouch that this problem started a long time ago, Vee. It began with the "managed care" program in the 1970's under Nixon. As far as I'm concerned the quality of care went downhill after that.
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Managed_care
I do hope you'll be able to get Nan back in hospice care as that is what she needs now.
Oh Vee, I am so sorry. The treatment you recieved shows such disrespect not only to you, but the elderly.
ReplyDeleteWe all need to remember that they are the very people that made this country and it's many freedoms what it used to be:(
You, and all others that continue to tenderly care for their loved ones at home are commended.
My own grandmother is now 103 and still in her own home, due to the help of many of those that love and respect her and the life she has lived.
Hang in there girl. And give 'em Hell Harriet!
Perhaps when this is all over, you will feel the pull of a political calling...
ReplyDeleteYou always have the patience of Job, which is needed for such. And now, you have a crusade, putting fire in the belly, as they say.
It is the time, for such a crusade.
American Heroes are made of such.
arghhhhhhhh! (Should be in caps.) Hugs and prayers
ReplyDeleteWhenever I hear things like this I shudder to think what life for the elderly who have nobody to speak for them must be like. It seems such a sad way for them to be treated.
ReplyDeleteI pray that Nan will now receive proper care and you and John are able to rest a bit. God bless you for providing dear Nan with such loving care.
I'm glad you included a photo of your Nan. You have the strength to stand up to all those bureaucrats! Cheryl
ReplyDeleteI've had a taste of what you are experiencing and it is terrible! "Managed care" stinks! I guess this is what we all have to look forward to unless something drastic happens. My sister is an RN and they have recently placed her husband's elderly grandfather in hospice care. She is a advocate of it for the patient and the family support. Hope you can find the appropriate help soon.
ReplyDeleteHugs, V.
Hi Vee, Just checking in to see how you are doing and to say hi, as I have been gone from blogland for a while. I am so sorry to hear about Nan, and I will be praying for her and for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all that you have posted, good luck with your letter writing, my mom always tell me the squeaky wheel is the one who gets oiled.lol. You and John continue to inspire me, with your love and care for your family, I am truly blessed.
Hugs,
Sue
Vee, I'm still keeping you and yours in prayer. Now I think I shall start including the doctors and medical care - for wisdom, discernment, knowledge for them, and favor for Nan.
ReplyDeleteKeep those updates coming!
Vee,
ReplyDeleteI have seen this before over the years. I am not sure if it has anything with the new administration, but more to do with how they treat the elderly. Believe me I have seen this all over Long Island with my Grandparents years ago, and most recently with my mom in Vermont.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Doctors, humph. When they gave my mom so much pain killer medicine after an operation, they wanted to operate again after she started to have internal bleeding. This very old doctor asked my mom for permission to operate. I said to him that he needed to ask me or my sister for permission, because she could barely comprehend what was going on. He was so mean and just dismissed me. After all he was important don't you know. I stayed in the waiting room all night and the intern promised that he would come and find me if they were going to operate.
Some doctors don't have compassion, others mean well, but don't have the life experience to know what to do.
I am so sorry you are upset, and that Nan isn't getting the care that she needs.
Karen
Thank you, Dear Ones, for all your suggestions and comments.
ReplyDeleteWe have tried Hospice, but it didn't work out. I do believe that it is an excellent program, but when they say that we must switch to things that are cost prohibitive for me and John, we were not able to comply. This is a recent directive from Medicare.
As for troubles with eldercare going on for a long time, I'm sure there has been a slippery slope; however, I have been involved with my grandmother's medical care for over seven years and I have never seen the horror show that I have seen in the past four days, which led me to believe that something has happened within the past year. After my discussion with the social worker last night, I now know that that is indeed the story.
The good news is, and thank you to Kim who nudged me in a comment on an earlier post, an infection was discovered. It really got a firm hold, too, so it is being battled in hospital and my grandmother will not be able to come home until that is under control. Sometimes, one really does have to push, push, and push some more. In this case, the medical community was saying, "We don't want to put a nearly 101-year-old woman through the tests." I can see that, but the alternative is a benign sort of euthanasia or am I wrong?
If Nan had remained home, somebody was going to get hurt. It could have been John who has been lifting her into bed or me who has been lifting her alone in and out of chairs. Yes, Nan has been on a waiting list for permanent residency for some months now...no room in the inn.
Always thanking you...
Vee
I can't believe the downward turn this country is taking and especially in one on the most important areas of all...our healthcare. I remember the good ole days when you were hospitalized for little of nothing and now you can't even stay overnight after surgery in a lot of cases! Okay, maybe it's just minor surgery, but still...
ReplyDeleteI ran into the same problem with my father who lived to the age of 91. He was taken by ambulance many times to the emergency room only to be looked at and sent away again. Frustrating is putting it mildly!
I pray that your Nan gets over her infection and that you will get the help you need with her care. Take care of Vee, too!
Cheryl
Popping in to give you a hug!!! I'm glad your standing up to those doctors Vee. I'd probably be a screaming FISH women in your position, geezzzz!
ReplyDeleteGlad they kept her in the hospital for care. God's strength to you and John during this hard season with your Nan.
Dearest Vee,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry things have been so stressful and discouraging for you these past days. I've been so caught up in my own world of late I've not visited much. My immediate prayers will go up for Nan AND you! Health care is so so difficult. My Mom had to go to a nursing home but we found one that was VERY good for her dementia and she thrived there as long as she could. They were angels there, but I know they are few & far between.
My heart goes out to you dear friend. Hugs, Sherry
Hope your Nan is better soon.
ReplyDeleteI could not comment on the top post for some reason, they are what we call pansies?
Oh my goodness. I go away for a few days and I return to find that you have been served yet another whole platter of difficulties. I hope that Nan will recover from that fall and gain some strength and that you will find a new reserve that you'd didn't know you had. Take care of yourself because you can't put your health in jeopardy.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers.
Praying!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete