A Haven for Vee

Friday, September 10, 2010

Goodbye Neighbor

I was mistaken for Mrs. Kravitz yesterday. You know, typical nosy neighbor type. Yup. True. And guilty as charged.

In fact, I spent my morning with the camera around my neck peeking out of every window and tiptoeing behind John's truck to take photos.

Trouble is that I was caught. CAUGHT. They saw me, all of them, and they shared a moment of perplexed discomfort as they fretted about what I was doing.

What was I doing? Just saying goodbye to a neighbor that's all.

photo source for Mrs. Kravitz

Yay, the corner lot is now empty and I prefer the view opened up this way. The real reason I was running around like Mrs. Kravitz was because when the mobile home first arrived several years ago, it roared across my front lawn and nearly wiped out my steps. Much too close to the house for comfort.  I didn't want a repeat so I was checking to see in which direction it would leave. They backed it up over their neighbor's lawn and directly into the adjoining street thereafter. This is the first time that I have been grateful for the ongoing construction on the upper road as seen through the curtained window in the middle above. It meant they couldn't bring the tractor my way. Phew!


Nan News~

The facility called me yesterday to say that my grandmother was having a very rough day. They asked if I could please contact my mother and sister and come in to see her. So we did just that.

What a change from Wednesday when John and I visited with her. Wednesday she seemed so well. Thursday she was so lost. Thursday she was bobbing around on that sea and, as a memory popped up, she laughed or cried and talked with those "memory people." She called "Come in!" repeatedly and decided to make us all pancakes. She stirred and stirred and straightened and worked at her bedclothes. Then she began a big batch of candy.

I hope that you are following along with my poor explanations, but she is having one auditory hallucination after another and it'd been going on all day. For the first time, she did not recognize my mother. She recognized me as my mother, but not myself, except for one brief moment. Oddly enough, she recognized my sister who sees her far less often than my mother or I.

Before I left, I requested that she be given a specific medication to calm her because it was going to be another long night for her and her poor roommate otherwise. John and I will be there early this morning...probably about the time this posts. I promise that I'll catch up with you as soon as I can. Visits to your place and those wonderful cups of tea and conversation keep me going.


  1. Well I think that we can all be a little Gladys Kravitz at times. I want to know what going on in my neighborhood ALL of the time.

    Wishing all of you a peaceful day.

  2. I know you are worried about your Nan. It's such a horrible illness. I think of you and your dedication to her so often.

    As for being Mrs. Kravitz.... we live on a country backroad with about ten homes down the 4 mile road. I am always watching what is going on as there are no strangers around here! lol If something changes, I know about it! Of course in the town we live in, I can sneeze and they know about it in town in 2.3 seconds!

    I love the wood stove, too. They were so pretty to look at in the market!

    I hope you have a better visit with Nan today,

  3. Dieing is such an interesting phenomenon to be around. Do they really see people? Why not? If their loved ones come back to be around them or help them proceed to their next life, I think that would be such a comfort. I was in the room about a day before my sister died. She hugged a lot of people. I don't know who, but I can only imagine. My father is 100 and at times he tells his health care worker that a little boy dressed in white comes to him. We can only think it must be his brother who died at 18 months in 1909. Hope you have a better day today. Makes me tear up.

  4. I love that term, "memory people." I've been around relatives who saw them, and I not only sensed their presence, but I found comfort from them myself in my dad's final hours. (I only wish I could have heard the conversations!) It can be disconcerting to watch, but they serve a purpose.

    Praying for peace and strength for Nan and all of your family as you make this journey with her.


  5. Such *sweet* neighbors! IN over one lawn and OUT, over another! :-(

    Your town zoning allows mobile homes, where regular homes are situated???

    Courage to you. Such visits are never easy.

    Gentle hugs...

  6. This sounds like the same sort of thing that was happening to my Mom in her final days of life, when she could still speak. Friends from the past were often the main topic of discussion. People she hadn't seen in awhile were with her. Very sad and very hard to handle for those of us there to comfort! My thoughts are with you during this difficult time!

  7. Loved your Mrs Kravitz moment. Then so sad to hear about your Nan. My mother went through some very tough mental times similar to hers. I know how hard it is on the family. You all are in my prayers.

  8. I was standing by my front windows watching a couple walk by. They looked up and saw me standing there. I smiled and waved and they did the same. :-)

    So sorry to hear about nan. Hope she is restful now. Prayers continue for you all.
    Peace to you.

  9. You are so good to your grandmother by going to see her and check on her. I've heard it is less confusing to them if you just go along with them when they are talking to whoever they have in their mind at the time. God bless you.

  10. Hope you find that Nan is calmer today, Vee. Such a pity. I'm so sorry - we're dealing with some of that ourselves...

    Well, if YOU're Mrs. Kravitz, then I have to confess that I am, too. Right now, we have a new neighbor - a guy with 3 boys. He's a pilot, he's 50 or so, and dates a 20 year old flight attendant.

    He's asked my daughter to babysit a time or two so he can go play, and DD refuses to babysit anymore (during the summer). She has appropriately named him "Creeper Bob". He's setting a very poor example for his teen son and 2 pre-teen sons by having his little "stewardess" sleep over, too. Makes me sick.

    I think I shall blog about it...

  11. I'm smiling about you being caught with camera in hand. I can identify!

    Hope Nan is doing better today. We know that His mercies are new every morning...a great promise.

  12. The senile dementia that my father had before he died was a little different in that he mostly heard voices. And it was bad because the voices were bad ones telling him that they were out to get him. Sometime he would see people, but mostly hear them.

    He would always recognize me, but then when trying to talk to him (it was more like yelling at him, because he couldn't hear much at all, so communication was difficult)he would stop and look up...then ask me if I could hear the voices and to make them stop. I mostly just played along and told him that I heard them and told them to go away and leave him alone! He would get very frustrated, to put it mildly.

    In his last days, he was wheeling up and down the halls in his wheelchair and telling all who would listen about J.esus! He would have never done that when he was younger. Not that he didn't believe, that just wasn't him.

    I will pray for you and your family and Nan during this difficult time.

    And, thanks for the laugh, Mrs. Kravitz. I could just picture the sneaking around and taking pictures. LOL!! Sounds like something I might do!

    Have a good day,

  13. I like your new view, Vee, and I'm glad the exit didn't take place over your lawn this time. The photo of Mrs Kravitz cracked me up!

    I hope Nan has a more restful day today. God bless her.

  14. Been there dear Vee and it is horrible. My Mom didn't recognize me sometimes and she ranted and cried, acted like a spoiled kid, and threw tantrums. That was bad, but when she lost her memory etc., it was far worse.

    I am thankful that you and your wonderful husband are steadfast. Hang in together and comfort each other as well as your dear Gran.


  15. I have missed visiting here...we were away...far away in the beautiful mountains.

    So happy you were able to get photos of those neighbors moving out....even if you did feel you had to hide and sneak your peeks.

    Nan...sweet Nan. Please let us know how she is. Times are hard, but more for those of you who love her than for Nan, herself.


    Becky K.

  16. oh dear, i was chuckling about vickie's
    pilot and stewardess dilemma . . .

    so sorry to hear about nan's bad day.
    my 'nan' used to say, "well, if you have
    a bad day, it will be followed by a good
    one." hope that's true for your nan.

    way to keep the movers off your lawn!

  17. Vee,
    I'm so sorry for what your grandmother is going through. My mother who is 83 yrs. old is going through a stage where she is terrified to leave her room at the assisted living center because she doesn't know where she is. Everyone is a stranger--she thinks my sister is me--It is so hard for her and I pray the Lord takes away her fear. She tells my sister "I don't have any food for the kids". I live two states away and she is pitiful on the phone. Taking care of a dementia patient takes a toll on the entire family, especially the direct caregiver. Working with disabled teenagers gives me a taste of what full time caregiving must be like. Bless you and thankful that you are having some help.

  18. At first, I began to chuckle seeing good old Mrs. Kravitz in your window!!! Loved what you wrote about watching your neighbor.

    Then, well then I began reading about your nan. I cried, cried because I know that horrible disease just hurting that beautiful mind of hers. Good to ask for medicine to calm her.

    I wish you strength and peace, and Nan rest.


  19. My herat is so full with you. I have not shared this before but we are going through this with my Mom. My youngest Sister is taking care of her right now and it is so very hard for all of us. It is hard to see your Mom like this or anyone you love go through this horrible disease. My prayers are with you and your family......hugs ... m.....

  20. I think I mentioned this before, but when my grandmother started seeing and hearing things she almost always had a bladder infection. We'd have to practically force someone to do a test and give her antibiotics, because "they" would try to tell us she was just senile. Well, yes she was a little, but she was not "crazy". Anyway, just something to think about.

    Oh, I hope you get to keep the new view.

  21. good morning Vee!

    I really laughed... Mrs Kravitz huh? What a sight that must have been! LOL Oh well they're gone so who cares right??

    My Uncle did the same thing as Nan is doing. He was inviting people in from his past and having conversations with them etc. He would make you wait to speak until he finished a conversation that was taking place. Makes you wonder doesn't it?

    Have a good weekend, my prayers are with you. Hugs,Sherry

  22. That photo of Gladys Kravitz had me laughing. I still love to watch Bewitched.
    So sorry to hear about your Nan. It brought back bittersweet memories of the days my mom would be agitated or hallucinating. So sad. You will all be in my prayers today. May today be a better day for dear Nan.

  23. With being away for so long, I am just now catching up. I am so sorry that your Nan is not doing well. I will keep her in my prayers.

  24. So hard for you all Vee - prayers continuing to be sent your way.


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