A Haven for Vee

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Not Again!

I've committed yet another commenter error. What now this time you're probably thinking. Well, I've made a comment on a dear blogging bud's post and an anonymous commenter attacked her for my comment. Did you know that that can happen? It can. Readers sometimes judge us for what our visitors say in response to our posts.

This caused some name calling on the part of the anonymous commenter and an attack on my verbiage. Seems that the A.C. thinks that anyone who believes differently from her is a dolt, completely unenlightened. Apparently, she also believes that only her opinion should be expressed. Sigh. There is no way to intelligently discuss any topic with such people.

Now I did learn something about my own commenting behavior once again. I learned that I was guilty of attaching my opinion to another's post. That should be reserved for my own blog where commenters can attack me for my opinions instead of my readers' opinions.

My apologies to my blogging friend for my not saving the comments, which might be considered by some to be insensitive, for my own blog. (She, my blogging friend, handled this little tempest beautifully.)

However, I do not apologize to her anonymous commenter. In fact, I'd like to address Anonymous directly:
Dear Anonymous One,

The world is a big place and one day you will discover that someone equally as intelligent as you, equally as educated as you, equally as spiritual as you, equally as caring as you, equally as wonderful as you in every possible aspect will believe the exact opposite as you do. (I hope that you don't marry him.) And when you discover this, you will realize that every little thing is not true just because you think it.

Why did I bring this up? Why not and why else — so we could all learn something. I used to think, and not so very long ago, that I had to be longsuffering with these types of commenters. I used to have several of them lurking around in the shadows, but I have learned that I can dispatch them and I do not hesitate to do so today.

My advice to them is this: You are welcome to comment when you can enter into an intelligent conversation where you allow variety of opinion. Otherwise, don't let the door hit you where the...

And when I read *this* devotional from April 1, 2010 at Our Daily Bread, I positively cheered. About time and thank.you.very.much.

Today, I felt the liberty to post as I have and, in case you think I'm having a bad day, you're wrong! I'm having a great day!

You go and have a great one as well... (that means you, too, Anonymous!)

photo source

P.S. Just a reminder...this blog no longer accepts anonymous commenters due to an incredible deluge of spam. Have always despised that stuff...


  1. I've seen the spam slow down now. Must have not gotten the results they were looking for. At least I'm hoping that is the case!

    Commenting can be tricky, can't it? I hope you'll always say what you are thinking at Hospitality Lane. I can take the heat of any responses. I'm glad your other blog friend could, as well.


    Becky K.

  2. Not sure what happened, but I agree with your philosophy of everyone has the right to their own opinion - and this is not a "life or death" situation - blogging is about support, friendship, and celebrating our differences as well as our alike-ness..and should be FUN! So, take it with a grain of salt and continute to enjoy, write, support and celebrate!
    Love, me

  3. Love the devotional, Vee, and I love variety of opinions, as long as they are respectful! Debate is fascinating, but personal attacks are never acceptable. We are all different, and disagree at times, but that is normal and natural. Being kind and nice to each other is what makes this a community of friends!

  4. Sorry this happened to your blog friend - I'm sure it was unpleasant.

    Of course everyone has right to there opinions! My issue is when people leave their political views as a comment on a post that has nothing to do with politics. I've had that happen several times. A post on some new dishes and all of a sudden I get a political rant. That's inappropriate. But if the post was a political one then I think it's absolutely o.k. to have people express their differing views in a polite way.

    I agree with Becky, I've seen the spam slow down. I moderate comments for posts that are older than three days because spammers usually try the older posts. I haven't had any issues with spam at all on current posts.


  5. hear, hear! well said and great advice
    for us all.

    i give my opinions in my comments
    all the time and don't even realize that
    i am doing it.

    will try to be more intentional in my
    commenting, however it is my sincere
    opinion that you are wonderful.


  6. All my problems with comments came from people who did not leave a name. That's why I went to moderated comments (which eliminated snarky comments, surprise... they had no audience).

    Yes, there for awhile the SPAM was awful but I'm noticing a little less these days. It only takes a few seconds to get rid of them on moderated comments but I've learned they can be really sneaky.

  7. I simply love your response to anonymous...brilliant sweetie! I plan on sharing your wisdom with several young people I know who lack life experience and could use some of your insight, I promise to give you all the credit when I share your words!!! (I also review all comments now before posting them to avoid sharing such negativity around blogland)

  8. Isn't it a pity that Anonymous thinks highly of their opinion, but not so much that they are brave enough to say who they are? LOL! I blocked Anonymous comments a couple of months ago and wishes I had done it sooner. I had allowed them so that non-blogging family and friends could comment. But faceless nasty people put an end to that freedom.

    I once had someone DEMAND that I remove a photo because it offended them (politically) so much. So much for respecting free speech, LOL!

  9. I know exactly whereof you speak.

    I like Colleen's comment...blogging should be fun! Let's express our opinions...for and against...without getting all tied up in knots. If we can't say it with our name attached...then let's not hide our opinions behind 'anonymous'.

    Have a fabulous day, Vee.

  10. First ~ No you did not commit any commenter error! [You know I never let you get away with knocking yourself!]

    Second ~ If this blogger is naive enough to allow Anon comments, she deserves what she gets.

    Third ~ Yeaaaaaaa for you! Giving yourself "the liberty to post as you have." Which I guess translates to, giving yourself the right to post, as you choose.

    Vee said; "I learned that I was guilty of attaching my opinion to another's post."

    Fourth ~ I'm still confused as to why an Anon commenter, can Legislate a Blogging/Commenting Rule...??????

    Fifth ~ If so, she won. Yes? No? Maybe?

  11. Hi Vee,
    What a great post! So well said. :) I agree with your thoughts.. everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It is very hard to deal with those who can not participate in dialogues without negative references. You can say whatever you'd like on my blog! I give you permission to rant away!

  12. What a boring place this world would be if we all thought the same things. Go, Vee!

  13. OK, OK. I admit it. You have a right to start charging me for giving me blogging ideas! ,-))))

    'Tis way at the bottom of my post today, but... 'tis there. Your entry. Link of course.


  14. APPLAUSE to you VEE. I believe we should agree to disagree. We should be able to have our opinions, but we should share them in a kind manner.
    Going to read the devotional you posted about.
    Have a blessed day.

  15. Very good post, Vee, and enjoyed the devotional as well. You may leave opposite points of view on my blog. I may argue back, but then, I like to argue. ;)

    Guilty of leaving opinions - using my name, of course.

    The most difficult part is knowing when to fight back and when to keep quiet...

  16. Hi Vee,
    My goodness, some folks are just not nice!.
    You handled things perfectly!.
    Take care and big hugs, Elizabeth

  17. Oh my ... I hope that between the spam and commenting issues you've been having recently, you don't close your blog down.

    This is the first (or maybe second) time I've commented here, but I have to say that you've been a blessing to me more than you know. I'm thinking maybe all this "trouble" might be for that reason, because you're such a blessing.

    Don't let it stop you from doing/saying what you ought to ...

  18. Well, I sure am learning a lot from you regarding commenting. I had never heard of this happening until now. It always seems that these rude comments come from an anonymous source. I was getting deluged with spam for a while there, but it does seem to be better now. Although I'm not sure if I feel comfortable to stop moderating.

    On a different subject, in answer to your question on my last post, I did like the way the wildflowers turned out in the garden bench. It was kind of a wilder look, but still nice.

    Continue to enjoy your nice day!!

  19. I kind of like to hear different opinions and welcome them on my blog if they are respectful. It would be a mighty boring world if we all thought a like!!

  20. Awhile ago I found some research about how people come to their "moral" opinions. It facinated me that those with what are typically called "liberal" beliefs used but two of five foundational beliefs to define their stance whereas conservatives used five foundational areas.

    It helps me understand how fellow Christian can take a stance on a subject 180 degrees out from where I stand. If you are interested in seeing how the research was done, check here:


  21. Vee! You *naughty* girl! You snuck in a new Header Pic on me!!! >,-))))
    Gotta' watch you all the time.


  22. Hmmm, I must have missed something here on this subject of leaving comments. I hope I have not offended in any I have left, yikes!

    When leaving a comment I always try to stick to the subject at hand and respond in some way to what is being posted on. I am sure I must have inserted my opinion for time to time and this is a lesson learned, unfortunately, at your expense. Thank you for passing along this information, I will be more mindful for here on out.

    I am so sorry that this happened to you and to your blog friend. But, I am thrilled to here that your day was going great!

  23. Great job, Vee! I don't blog and don't comment all the time, but I really do enjoy reading your blog and your comments.

  24. Too bad that person had to hide behind being "annonymous." I've seen that happen on blogs and it's not nice.

    I don't accept annonymous comments on my blog any longer because I was getting SPAM through them.

  25. I kept noticing odd things being left too...and I am so proud of you and the way you made your stand! But then I know what a brave person you are and that you do not suffer fools gladly...now anonymous knows too!
    hugs to you my friend
    my sweet girl won most Photogenicd

  26. Great post Vee....And I also no longer accept anonymous commentors.

    p.s. I knew you would guess Paris - and this time you were right!

  27. I loved the devotional! With the last couple of weeks I have had (recovering hubby & in-law opinion...) it is something I needed.

    I have never understood the "attacks" that people feel that they must release on those that they do not know just because they don't agree. It makes me sad in a way as it is a reminder of those laid back days sitting on the front porch just to socialize with the neighbors are long gone. No one socializes anymore, they would rather hurt those around them just to make themselves feel good. I am so sorry that you (and your blog friend) have dealt with this lately. It's just rude.

    Sorry to have ranted a bit here. Now I may be the bad blog commenter!

    I am glad that you are having a good day! =)


  28. I love all the hoopla you get into in blog land. I find your rants and points of view very unique and charmingly Vee. Don't ever stop being who you are.

    As long as people are not being rude, they have a right to their own opinions. And how wonderful that the internet gives us each our own voice. Nobody is forcing anybody to read one's blog or ones comments. If you don't like it, just move on people!

    Looks like you had a wonderful time with the grands on Easter.

    Thank you for your sweet comments. I know that God is with us, and He is good. I pray for you often to have strength for each and everyday. What you carry is amazing. I am glad you are not doing it on your own, but you are yoke with Him.

  29. I guess I missed it, Vee. Curiosity makes me wanna know, but you nipped this little event in the bud in this post. I'm sorry it happened to your friend. There are some folks out there who push their opinions on everyone around them. It's not right to be mean and hateful about it. We can all agree to disagree but do it with a good attitude. I guess it takes all kinds, so my dad used to say.

    I am probably guilty, too, of including opinions and my own experiences and little silly ditties in my comments, but I guess I tend to be a non-confrontational type of person. I should probably stick to the subject at hand, too, but I probably won't just cuz I like to gab. I'd hate for people to consider me weak, but I love people and especially my friends & try to avoid offending someone.

    Others are welcome to their own opinions and I'm certainly willing to voice mine if need be. But to me, blogging is about making friends, encouraging one another, and brightening the day of those around us if we can. That's my goal. Oh, also, whining a little if one needs to. haha!

  30. I think you handled that very well Vee. For me blogging is fun. I'm not out to win any awards (Well, I do like the awards I sometimes get from fellow bloggers :>)but it's just a way of sharing. I don't understand why any one would attack another person for their opinion. One of the things I love about blogging is that the bloggers I come in contact with are warm and friendly. I guess I don't get why someone would chose to be so negative.

  31. That's too bad because I like to think of my blog friends and commenters and myself as having an ongoing conversation. It's much nicer, I think, to be able to converse than to just be up on my soapbox spouting whatever at the masses. Tea and conversation for me... don't ever worry about what you say on my blog. I just like the company!

    :) Christi

  32. Well done! This applies as much if not more to the political climate today as it did when you first posted these words!! Bravo!!!