Today, I may say too much. Today, I may say so much that you will cringe. Good thing comments are off or I might have to read a rant or two from my readers.
It's been one of those weeks. Every day presented new and bigger challenges. I found myself trying to keep calm while also trying to keep my grandmother, my mother, and my husband calm. Ever find yourself feeling as if you'll start screaming and, if you do, that you will never be able to stop? At one point yesterday, I was staring into space not seeing, not hearing. When John's voice entered my fogged state, he was asking, "Are you okay?" The answer was, "No, I am not okay."
Earlier in the day, I had found myself muttering repeatedly, "I am not a nurse. I am not a nurse. I am not a nurse." Yeah, well, as I said, one of those weeks.
The week began with an unexpected out-of-state visitor, the wrenching of my back again, and ended with clanging nerves and shaken emotions. Good thing that we had read in our devotions early in the week that "For this you have Jesus." Every so often that reminder would float to the surface, above the din of the mind, and there would be Jesus striding into our midst and calming our storm.
Victory Over Depression subtitled "How to Live Above Your Circumstances" by Bob George is coming down from my shelf this week. It is getting pretty dog-eared and marked. In chapter one, Mr. George tells us this: We cannot overcome the world, but we can live in dependency on the One who already has — Jesus Christ.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
Today, I will need to lean on the Lord hard. There are things coming down the road today. These things will not veer off and hit the ditch. But whether I am always aware or whether I am going blithely on about my business does not negate the fact that we need Jesus at our house. Every day. Every hour. Every minute.