A Haven for Vee

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Life's Hourglass

The more sand that has escaped through the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it. ~Jean Paul

What a rough week! Very. My sister had been struggling with a looming birthday, her fiftieth. I wanted to have sympathy for her; I really tried. It just wasn't working. I am the elder sister, after all, so my empathy wasn't all that it might have been. I seriously considered writing this message on her birthday card: Remember, today is the first day of what's left of your life. Instead, you'll be happy to know, I wrote a birthday letter that went something like this...

Dear Little Sister,

I know that you have been reflecting upon your life perhaps more than ever before over the past week. I know that with that reflection has come a lot of pain and regret. I know that you may never believe me, but it will all be okay. It will.

We both know that things are about to change for us. It's no longer an "if" it's a "when." And that is okay, too. It is.

In a perfect world, I can see you so clearly, hear you; I know you. I've known you for all of your fifty years. I remember the day Mother carried you pink and crying through our door. (Okay, so what that I was more interested in gazing at Mom wearing her navy blue dress with the white polka dots! How beautiful she looked to me that day.) Today, I am looking at one beautiful, radiant woman, too, and that woman is you.

Because I have known your past and know your present, I sometimes get confused and think that I know your future, too. It's not true, of course. It feels like love, but when I get honest, I know that it is not. It is my big sister controlling attitude. Sometimes you have been more real to me than my own self.

So, truth is, it's an imperfect world and I have struggled with judging you. Sometimes your behavior has perplexed me and made me feel that our relationship will be destroyed, but it is more true that my judgments would destroy relationship. I promise not to allow that to happen. Not to us. Not ever.

I have every confidence in your ability to move on and create for yourself a beautiful life. Here's to another fifty years!

Forever love,


My sister celebrated her birthday yesterday and we are safely over that hurdle, at least for now. She returned home as happy as I have seen her in over a month. What a blessing to see the smile.

P.S. If you haven't visited Brin at My Messy, Thrilling Life, check there today for some very, very exciting news! (Edited to add: Brin's October 24th post...thanks Mari-Nanci!)


  1. Ahhh sisters... my relationship with my own sister is complex - probably not unlike the complexities between yourself and your sister (though I don't know the history). I've been judgmental too often (I'm also the eldest). Best childhood friends but now it's so strained. Prayer!! I'm glad your sister back and is happier. Have a wonderful weekend. Blessings... POlly

  2. This is perfectly precious. I hope your sister appreciates her older Sis. If she forgets to, sometimes... Tell me, please. ,-)

    And both of you have to be such *Youngin's*! Her only hitting 50?!? Yish! Wait till she has stared down 70!

    Actually, past 70... What's to stare down or complain about? Past 70, we just celebrate that we were born and are still alive!!! It puts a kind of a glow, on every day. :-)))


  3. I haven't checked there in a long time. I checked. What is the exciting news?

    I thought she was going to say she was dating this guy from the cruise. But she didn't even go to the dance with him.

    What did I miss????????


  4. Have been catching up on your posts since coming back.
    Tell your sister I found getting to 50 much harder than getting to 60.
    Whatr a wonderful tribute you have written.


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